Should I accept the challenge to pull a pig to Scotland?

Question

I have been challenged by members of the Raffles Club to travel from Kent, England to Ayrshire, Scotland whilst pulling an adult pig in a cart. To add to the challnege, I must wear diving flippers. I have been given eight weeks and if I succeed, I win a ham. If I lose, I have to be the club whipping boy for a month.

What are my chances?

Answer 1

what you need to do is strategically set up your mistresses along the route, then preform some sort of relay. I can loan you a few of my slaves if you so desire.

Answer 2

Hire some middle eastern flunkies of the muslim persuasion to be your guides, batman etc. on your challenge. If you succeed, they get paid one million rupees. (about £3.81) a kings randsome in their home village.

Should you fail, make it clear you,ll make all twenty of them cook and eat the porker in question. I would take bets on the outcome just now....!

Answer 3

Pull that porker, sir.

Answer 4

i cant imagine its that hard?

Answer 5

Well if dave's up for it,go for it.

Answer 6

what about the pig does he have a say in this?

Answer 7

Even if you lose, can't you just keep the pig and that way you get an even bigger ham?

Answer 8

Sounds like quite a bit of exercise. 469 miles, dragging a pig, while wearing diving flippers. Might as well enjoy yourself! 8 weeks is a lot of time. I didn't check the terrain to see how much is uphill. In fact, now that I think about it, I'd be worried about going down too steep a grade, in diving flippers, and having the porcine beast ladden cart flatten you. It's possible to win.

Answer 9

You should win the whole pig and a haggis too for that kind

of sustained effort.

Answer 10

I'm sure you will be able to do this with no problem at all. Just put one leg over the border of Scotland and you have made it.

Answer 11

Excuse my friend, he's a pig. Excuse my pig, he's a friend!

Answer 12

Personally i think you want to accept the challenge so you can lose deliberately and have a month of personal excitement...lol

Answer 13

.Sounds like a win win situation old man.

Answer 14

I would suggest 8 weeks is more than ample.... Particularly if the pig in question is prepared into various joints of meat prior to the escapade. The diving flippers could be a problem, but to resolve this I would instead of wearing them on your feet wear them on your ample ears...... thereby cutting down the time considerably.

In fact I would put to the members that if you achieve the task within 4 days of the mission, they have to perform some task for you..... Say replenish the Club's cellar after we drink it dry to celebrate your victory

Answer 15

I say, that's a brilliant idea! I shall have to tell they boys back at the Ilium Club about that. Might challenge old Stickie to it.

Answer 16

Pakm@n82 you are very handsome and I would pull your pork any time!

As for the questioner, leave the poor bloody pig alone!

Answer 17

You should do it either way I win, I will get to see a man pulling a pig on television and if you lose I will get to whip a person guilt free. Sounds reasonable.

Answer 18

The chances are that you will enjoy either outcome.

Answer 19

My good sir I must confess to have done a very similar thing the other Saturday evening, you see whilst having a few snifters in the old Badgers Armpit Inn one became completely intoxicated and befriended a buxom wench in said establishment.

A night of sordid debauchery ensued.

I then left in the early hours leaving said wench whimpering under the duvet.

It was not until “Biffy” and “Ginger” explained to me that the buxom wench was indeed not as beautiful as the half bottle of seven star cognac has lead me to believe ?

So indeed sir …..I had pulled a Pig?

Answer 20

Your chances are very good.  If you get tired, tell your wife to get out of the cart and pull you for awhile.  Problem solved!

Answer 21

a ham is not much of a prize -you have plenty live stock on your estate turn it down

Answer 22

I for one believe you can do anything you set your mind to.  But just to make this interesting, you should make your attempt on a unicycle.  As long as you can master the flippers, the added speed of the wheel will surely get you there in under the time limit.

Answer 23

do it dude.

Answer 24

It is only six hundred miles as the crow flies.... equates to something like seventy-five miles a week, or ten and three-quarter miles a day, at say average speed three miles an hour means you'd be pulling,so to speak, for something under four hours a day.  Easily done.

Answer 25

You sure they didn't challenge you to pull a pig *in* Scotland? That's a much easier challenge.

Answer 26

Scotland has enough pigs of the four legged kind as it is and what makes you think the pig would want to go with you. So I guess no is the answer to your question although I know a few people who would like to see you as the club whipping boy.

Answer 27

Lose sir, then you can relive your boarding school days all over again.

Answer 28

Not much of a prize is it?

Answer 29

Very Slim.