Should I adopt an older child if I'm having the feeling that I want a baby?

Question

We've been in the process of adopting an older child for about a year now. We're nearly done with the home study. As I was talking with the social worker, the subject of being a mother came up-- along with the topic of babies. It occurred to me in talking with her that I may feel like I'm somehow "missing something" if I don't do the whole raise a child from birth thing. I'm happy to adopt a baby-- I'm adopted myself, so I see no difference. We've pulled the goalie, as my husband so delicately puts it, but we haven't gotten pregnant. My husband and I both really like the idea of adopting an older kid-- mainly we want a family. We've gone to classes and all to do that. But, I'm starting to feel like I might miss out if I don't have the chance to raise a baby. I need to figure this out soon. What do you guys (+ gals, of course!) think??

Answer 1

i think that if a baby is what you want then that is what you should get but the older kids need love too most older kids don't get adopted because most people want babies

Answer 2

what ever you want you can adopt a baby and and older child

Answer 3

Personally I think once you get the adopted kid your feelings might change. But I can't predict how you'll feel.

Just do what is right for you.

Answer 4

Ok I can see how you might feel missing the chance to raise a baby because you could raise the child the way you want to and not the way the older child has been raised. I mean I am a teenager and i think that if you raise a baby you can put more influence into the child because you would be raising them the way you want to. Old teenagers start to go and start to think for them selves ( like the choose what they think is right and wrong or what they should beleive in ) So you are throwing up a chance with a teenager. One thing about a baby though is that you have to go and watch the child go and get hyper. you know all kids have their hyper stages. I mean it really comes down to is what you feel is right. My dad said when he saw me as a baby there was no greater feeling. I think i now understand why. He said that becasue if he raised a teenager he would not have all those great childhood memorories of me. Just remember what ever you choose, i know you will be a great parent!!!! Also thanks for those talks.