Should I allow my 13yr old daughter to talk to a 16yr old boy and see him under supervision (he is on Jr parol

Question

or should I forbid it since she will only get her heart broke because I wil NOT allow her to date till she's 16

Answer 1

h**l NO you shouldn't allow this relationship.  He is too old for her for one thing, let him seek out 16 year old girls to talk to.

Answer 2

encourage a friendship with all of her friends.  if she likes the boy, invite him to events with your family.  show unity and never FORBID her a friend -boy or girl.  that will only encourage her to hide her friendships.  show her the same respect you want from her and teach her self respect.

Answer 3

first of all i think she is to young in my opinion you should just let them be friends but nothing more because she will probably get her heart broken!!....and plus she still is to young!!!...and he is older than her and might start brainwashing her with inappropriate stuff and handle the relationship his way!..so therefore i think you should just let her date till she is 16 or 15

Answer 4

IMO, 13 is way too young to be seeing a 16 year old. The boy is almost an adult and he should be hanging out with girls closer to his age. I would have her wait another year until she's at least in high school and is more mature to handle certain situations.

Answer 5

Are you on crack? Break her heart.

Answer 6

yeah ok...im sure every parent wants to see their 13 year old daughter aspire to be with an older guy on (jr.?)parole....please....forbid it or go have your head examined because there is definitely something wrong if you allow this to happen.

thumbs down mean one of 2 things  here, youre either a child and know  no better, or a parent looking to be a grandparent before your time,.(or your childs "friend"  ugh)

Answer 7

If she's not allowed to date until she's 16, then stick by that rule.  Giving exceptions to the rule or bending the rule just a little will cause confusion.  The next time she wants to date and you say no because she's too young, she'll say, "but you let me go with John that one time!".  Just don't do it.  Besides, why would you even fathom allowing your daughter to go out with someone that is on parole?!  Supervised or not, its just not a good idea.  Tell her once again that she's not allowed to date until she's 16 and leave it at that.

Answer 8

he sounds like a keeper :-/  the fact that he is already on parol should be all that you need to know.

Answer 9

"Forbid" is almost a word you kind of have to reserve for really, really big things.  To forbid is often to push your child into doing what you've forbidden to be done.  I know - I've raised 4 teenagers and, if I must say so myself, they all turned out great.  And, there is ALWAYS an opportunity to see him, if that's what she wants.  If you forbid her to, you will wonder if she is with him every time she's not at home.  Personally, I think you're better off having her see him under supervision, like at your house in a public room (i.e. an open room where they are visible, not her bedroom or closed off area).  Maybe nothing more will come of this except that they will be friends.  Maybe he'll come to see that a 13 year old is ridiculously young for a 16 year old boy.  They HAVE to be different in so many ways and things that they like to do and even the friends they have.  You know your daughter better than anyone and if she's done nothing for you to mistrust her, you shouldn't or, you shouldn't make her think you distrust her.  On the other hand, teenagers will be teenagers.  They can also "lie" through their teeth if they think it's necessary to stay out of trouble, etc., even to their parents (who probably swear that their child would NEVER lie to them).  Just keep your eyes and ears open.  I don't think a 16 year old boy would want a 13 year old as a girlfriend for very long.  Even her curfews would be different than girls his age when they would want to do things and go places and to parties with their friends.  Hey, in another year, there are movies that he will be able to go to see since he will be 17 and your daughter still won't be able to.  Just play it by ear for now and look and see and watch how things go.

WAIT!!!!  I just read some of the other answers and, he's on Jr. Parole??????? You left off the "E" in parole and I thought it was Jr. Patrol - I thought that's some kind of "good" thing in your area and that you were pointing out that he's a good, nice kid.  Maybe yo should sit down with your daughter and ask her why should would want to get involved with a boy who has been in trouble with the law and is on parole when there are so many other boys that you're sure are interested in her.  You know, at her age, going out with a guy on parole can sound very "cool" and exciting.  Strange minds at that age.  Be careful!

Answer 10

NO WAY JOSE!

Answer 11

no... common sense

Answer 12

NOO!!!!!!! dont! she'll probably just end up pregnant and lonley so dont let that happen to her! a lot of people make those mistakes and never look at the future of what can happen.

Answer 13

Hmm...I have a 12 year old girl and this would freak me out. I feel your pain.

If by supervision you mean they can be at your home when you are there that might be okay. If he is looking for a bit more excitement he will probably take off after a relatively brief time. Make sure you are not the least bit unclear in saying she will NEVER be able to go anywhere with him as she is not allowed to date until age 16 (I have that same rule for my kids!).

If he is turning over a new leaf and has the desire to earn your trust maybe he will be able to do so. If he is seeing her as a cute little piece he will not last long under your conditions -- which will be a mini heartbreak for her but perhaps necessary for her to develop the discernment to pick boys/men who will have her best interest at heart.

If it was me and she was seriously into him I would allow chatting online (under supervision) and allowing him to visit at the home when I was home.

I think 13/7th grade -ish is old enough to make a friend who might be more and start learning about relationships. My kids will actually be allowed to go to a movie with a group of friends that may include someone likeable but I have made it clear they are not to get serious about it until grade 10/age 16.

Neither of them is too thrilled about anyone at this point anyway. LOL.

Best to you and your daughter.

Answer 14

in teen years 3 years is alot...NO WAY

Answer 15

umm no i wouldnt allow it. all he wants is s*x. and obviously a real winner already for being on parol.

Answer 16

He's on jr parol? As in, he's been in trouble with the law before? Are you nuts? for starters, 16 is too old for a 13 year old and do you really want your daughter to hang around a known trouble maker? I say you be the parent and put your foot down. Your daughter will get over it.

Answer 17

Well I think kids should have s*x early and such.  As long as they use protection.  Maybe tell her that penetration could get her pregnant but mutual masterbation and fondling is OK.  Give them privacy.

Answer 18

no way ..... he is 16 and is wat to mature 4 your daughter

Answer 19

no you shouldn't

Answer 20

I'm 20 and still young.  I say you should not allow her to see a boy who's 16 and on parol.  Being 3 years apart isn't a huge issue, but he's on Jr. parol.  That's not good.  She'll be mad, but she'll get over it.

Answer 21

run-run far away from this guy, and take your daughter with you. it will only lead to heartbreak-her's, and possibly your's.

Answer 22

I agree with blondeqt!! Are you crazy?