Should I allow my 2nd grader to be held back?

Question

My 2nd grader struggled with first grade right up until about the last two months and then its like a light bulb went on and he was understanding. He has been in speech therapy for four years and I think that has something to do with him haveing a hard time reading. I just got his final report card and he has a very low C average. The school suggested I hold him back a year so he can improve before moving on, but his little brother is going into the first grade this year also and I dont want both of them to be in the same grade because I feel that will further damage his self esteem because he already sees that his sister and brother have no problems in school at all. I am thinking, for the sake of my son to allow him to go to 2nd grade and really dedicate that much needed extra attention to ensure he succeeds this year. I cant bear to have him humiliated because his younger brother is in the same grade as him. What do you all think is best? (it's not that I dont know, It's just better to get some advice from other parents. Dont bother leaving rude and idiotic comments either, because they dont move me one way or the other)

Thanks for all your sugestions

Answer 1

I understand want you saying. My mom said they would hold back my oldest son in Kindergarten. But she was wrong. He is going to first grade. This part I would be worried about. Want I did when he was in kindergarten to work with him. I help me son learn to read. We went over the book several times. Went through his homework with him. I been working with him during the summer to just to keep him updated when he had learned in Kindergarten. I planning still helping him with his help. Talk over it before he start writing. I have a scanner so I could copy. You do want you feel right for your son. I think you go ahead send him to second grade, Work with him at home when he has homework. I think it would help out to keep up. Explain to him over the homework before he starts doing it. Like a tutor would help. My son has several problems. Speech which he get speech Therapy has well. He has learning disbability ( has IEP) And had ADHD. I am kinda of parent work with my children..

Answer 2

I experianced the same thing with myself.

I was held back in the first grade because I was not the best speller and I wasn't emotionally ready. This put me in the same grade as my brother. I threw a tantrum every day before school. I hated school.

When I went back to 1st grade the next year, I was able to catch up to the level I was supposed to be at. I was an excellent student from then on and I was very well behaved.

I didn't have the same teachers as my brother until Jr. High.

My older siblings were always very good students and that didn't seem to bother me.

This worked for us but I probably would have been okay moving on aswell. If you think you will actually provide the extra attention or tutors if necessary, then I think that would be a good idea.

I learned a lot more the second go around

Answer 3

Your school gives letter grades at the primary level. Hmmm...interesting.

There seems to be no reason to hold him back. Push him through. He'll be fine since that light bulb went on, and retention stays with a child their whole lives.

My father was held back in second grade because of dyslexia which he was not diagnosed with until much later. All through school he thought of himself as dumb, and didn't even consider college until the first day of orientation at some only locally known college close to where he grew up (Northern State in South Dakota -- a nothing school).

He did eventually get his teaching degree and a master's degree in counseling, but he had to ask even low-life college Northern State to let him do a statistical report instead of a paper for his thesis, and I am sure dyslexia is what kept him from ever finishing his educational doctorate (EdD)

So...the stigma of being held back in second grade greatly affected his career and he settled for a very low-class education when actually he was a very intelligent man.

I would definitely recommend against ever holding a child back. I think it is emotionally abusive, even if not intended to be.

Answer 4

I think it would be better to let him move to the next grade and get him a tutor

if he and his little brother were in the same grade he would be so embarrassed and it could scar him for life

if he must repeat the grade move him to a different school

a private school might be the answer

you were right to be concerned it is a tough decision.

if it were not for the little brother I would say have him repeat

I repeated a grade and the 2nd year in the 2nd grade I was so smart and popularr

Answer 5

Self esteem is one thing, but you do NOT wants to sacrifice his education in order for him to feel good.Sometimes humiliation is what it takes to make us want to improve.

However this ONE TIME, let him go to 3rd and you get him a tutor and YOU spend time with him making sure he does his work and gets it right.

C means average,not below average.He made C's?Then he is average.

He can do better.Next yr though(if he fails), you tell him if he wants to feel better about himself he is going to have to work a little harder.

Answer 6

I'd ask him....

also, see if you can ask the principal to put him with a teacher that has a knack for doing one-on-one help.

and is one of the better teachers in the school...

good luck!

Answer 7

let him go on to second grade but in roll him into an after school learning program

Answer 8

That is a tough decision.I have two children entering 3rd and 4th grade.I have to tell you from experience that 2nd grade is a whole lot harder than 1st.I don't think a C average is that bad,but our society does unfortunately.I will suggest letting him move up,but do be prepared to get a tutor and spend more time helping him.Good Luck!

Answer 9

My son is going into the 2nd grade this Tuesday. Last year we moved from Arizona to South Carolina in the middle of the year. The things they were teaching here were a little more advanced then AZ. He struggled and then towards the end of the year really progressed. I think you should allow your son to continue on to second grade and see how he does. I'm sure with extra help from you, he will do great!

Answer 10

i would let him go to 2nd grade. there are always tutors etc... that can help him. You will have to work with him more, but from your question, it sounds like you are definitely in it for  the long haul

Answer 11

If things starting clicking for him the last few months of school, I would let him go to 2nd grade.  K-2nd grade, kids are learning to read, starting in the 3rd grade, kids are reading to learn.  If he is having problems at the end of the 2nd grade year, hold him back then.      

Answer 12

normally I would say hold back but if he has a younger brother in that same grade then I say put him up. Get hm extra help and see how he goes this year. If he is still having trouble then look at repeating the 2nd grade. But if it all seemed to click at the end then he might just start picking up quickly

Answer 13

i'd keep him back,you could speak to the teachers and principal about making sure they are kept in different classes. i Choose to keep my son back in kindergarden because he was not emotionally ready and now he has blossomed and won THREE awards last year! good luck  

Answer 14

I would do exactly what you plan to do. Spend as much time as possible helping him in 2nd grade. Make him read, and read to him a lot !!! books that he is interested in.If you don't have enough time give him a tutor.If he still struggles in second grade in my opinion it would be the best to hold him back.

Good luck

Answer 15

If you do let him go into second you'll have to get a tutor or something and make sure he study's all the time. If he dosen't like to study threaten to send him back to 1st grade with his little brother that will make him want to keep studying.

Answer 16

My sister was held back in kindergarten and that really helped her a lot. She just didn't understand much her first year but her second year was much better. Also she met some more friends and ended up having friends her age and friends who were younger.

I think it would be okay that him and his brother are in the same class, I have a friend who's in the same grade as his younger brother and it strengthened their relationship, they're basically inseperable now, and their juniors in high school. It would be great for their brotherly bonding.

I say go for it, holding him back will definately help him in the future; Its better to be a year behind but doing well than being with kids his age and struggling all the way through school.  

Answer 17

I think your instincts are correct, mom.  If you can, insist that he moves up.  It will take extra help from you at home, I think you will be happy with your decision.

Since he "got it" in the last couple of months - I think that if you are able to spend some time with him, he'll pull out of it, and do just fine.

Answer 18

I think that it is better to hold them back earlier then later.

Answer 19

no dont do it because when he gets older and be in a different school all of the kids are going to be younger than him

Answer 20

Yes you should he could be embarresed or teased have a word with the teacher or principal to see what you can do

Answer 21

Let him move up, but consider getting him a private tutor afterschool/on weekends/etc. to help him. He probably just learns differently, and would benefit from some one on one.

I agree, it would be terribly embarrassing to not only be held back, but to go to school with his little brother. And then if his brother was doing better than him... That wouldn't be good.