Should I apologize to my husband for this?

Question

My husband and I got in a huge fight this morning. It started because we ride to work together to save money and he told me I couldn't possibly get ready in the time period that I woke up this morning (50 minutes before we needed to be at work with work 15 minutes away) and that I needed to skip the shower. We're graduate students and don't have set work hours, so to me, he was being nitpicky and controlling. Anyhow, I admittedly was wrong in yelling that he was being controlling and giving the silent treatment (after he wouldn't accept that I told him I could make the time frame). Since I was moody and quiet, he started trying to defend his comment from the morning. He was being defensive and not listening, so I told him we'd talk about it later after we calmed down. Every time he tried to talk about it after that, I interrupted him and said we'd agreed not to talk in the morning (because we're both moody). He got madder and madder until he threatened to put me on the side of the road and he was screaming and yelling that I needed to listen to him. I just kept saying we'd talk about it later (sometimes interrupting him in the middle of saying something defensive), to which he said I was trying to control the conversation. He talked to a coworker and apologized for the comment he made this morning and I apologized for yelling and giving the silent treatment over it. However, he wants me to apologize for interrupting him in the car. Somebody help....I don't think I should apologize for this. Should I apologize?

Answer 1

if a petty issue like that would cause a major fight in your marriage, than u guys have more problems than u think!

Answer 2

Some people need the extra clarity. It's amazing how powerful those two words "I'm sorry" can mean to someone when it's used with sincerity. In a marriage trust me the day will come when you will want an apology as well.

Are you sorry that you got into the fight in the first place? Forgive him already for his actions in the car--because you don't seem to want to forget about it just yet. Once you've done that ask him for forgiveness, he'll be all the more satisfied. And tonight when you go to sleep you won't have to go to sleep angry.

And this too shall pass..  

Answer 3

Thats so funny! I sometimes do that. He gets sooo mad. LOL.

Is he an only child?

Tell him to s***w off. You are a big girl and learned how to tell time years ago. Just because when he takes a shower he has to stand there and stare at the wall, doesnt mean you do. You being a woman can get in and out 10 mins. Dressed and ready.

Im sure from the sounds of it he drives. Makeup/Hair in the car.

s***w you hubby.

Answer 4

Apologize to him..if you love him apologize to him. If you can't talk about how you feel, what is bothering you...etc..your marriage is not going to last. No joke! If he says honey we need to talk about this now. You should be willing to listen to what he has to say and try to settle it before you go off to work. Yelling doesn't get you anywhere and I understand you needed a break apart to think before hurtful things are said but you still need to talk about them as soon as you can. It's not good to hold a grudge to long. What if you went off to work..something happened to either one of you..and you never seen each other again. That would be hard to deal with the fact that right now your asking if you should have apologized and you wouldnt be able to cause he would be gone..dead...wouldn't be able to hear your words ever again. Things like that happen and I am sorry I am being blunt. Think twice before you answer something you will regret again..if he wanted to talk..it doesn't hurt to listen and let him get out what he has to say or feel even if the answer he has for you isn't what you wanted to here. If you don't agree after he has said what he wanted to say at least you gave him the chance to get it off his chest and he should vise versa do the same for you. If you can't talk in your relationship about ANYTHING at all..no matter how bad it is then your looking down a road of divorce.  

Answer 5

Just apologize so you can move on!!! Why drag it out?

Answer 6

Yes you should apologize to him, your husband is your master.  You should never interrupt your master, he should actually punish you for your insubordination.

Answer 7

Yes, you should apologize.  You were both wrong and the argument escalated to different level.  He recognize he was wrong and now you need to realize that you could of done things differently that morning.

Compromise the time you are planning to be at work..... you should do your best for the two of you to make there on time

JUST APOLOGIZE!!  

Answer 8

Good gawd.  Choose your battles.  This one simply is not worth it.  Just say sorry for the whole friggin morning.  Both of you were grouchy..both of you were *******..just apologize already!

Answer 9

well why dont you just say "look babe, i apologize for the whole morning" and leave it at that.  somtimes you have to suck it up

Answer 10

OH GOOD GRIEF!  Just apologize for the entire morning....you both better learn how to communicate or your marriage is going to end up in the chitter....

Answer 11

grad school or grade school?

you want to be happy or right?  sounds to me like you two are really caught up in who's right, down to the very last detail.  Why can't you just apologize for the whole thing, instead of detailing it out like line items on a tax return?

Answer 12

Come on now! We all know you were only interrupting him because you knew it was upsetting him. If he was just trying to talk about what happened, you shouldn't have been immature and kept interrupting him. There's nothing worse then some one disrespecting you when you are trying to work through things.

Should you apologize? Yes. What's it going to hurt? Your pride? Oh well, you got in an argument, get over it and move on. You got in to an argument over getting ready in the morning? That doesn't seem like something to hold a grudge over or feel sorry for yourself about.

Go get a newspaper and read about people that have already had a worse day than you. Maybe think of a spouse that had their spouse die after being married for 25 years or a lady in my town that was 7 months pregnant, got hit by a car and her baby died.  

Answer 13

yes say your sorry, but I am only saying this assuming that this doesn't happen all the time. If it is then you need to go to marriage seminar or something.

Answer 14

You guys sound childish and immature. If every issue is going to be like this then you're not going to last long in your marriage. You were wrong for interrupting him, he was ready to talk and just because you weren't ready to listen doesn't mean you had to be disrespectful. Suck it up and apologize and stop letting petty issues come between you. Make a plan, compromise and stick to it so you're both happy.

Good luck.

Answer 15

Oh my gosh, I can't believe you are still married!

Answer 16

Not really but you should still apologize.  He was so angry he couldn't contain it so he had to do something.

Answer 17

Childish. Sometime my hubby wants to get bossy with me i IGNORE it do what needs done then ask him you ready to go now. My hubby has told me dumb things like i did not have time to do this or that I DO it do it on time then go on with life. You should have showered off quickly got ready with a few mins to spare told him you'll meet him at the car outside. When someone is being moody worst thing to do is toss fuel on the fire. Sometime you got to work around your hubby not against. It is a bad ideal to tell him you'll talk later when he feels then need right then to settle the disagreement. Most people later never comes then a week from now your both holding grudges about a mis understanding because you never talked it out. he wasn't listening good chance you were not either. Mouth opens the ears shut. You were bickering at each other i bet both of you don't know what the other said or wanted.

Answer 18

apologize, whether you feel like you should or not.  apologize and mean it.  this is not a habit you want to start within your relationship.  not learning to humble yourself and apologize will lead to major frustration and confusion.

good luck.

Answer 19

NO. He should apologize to you for screaming at you (there is no excuse for that) and threatening to kick you out of the car. That was quite jerkish of him.  

Answer 20

Marriage is a two way street and you need to always remember that you need to choose your battles. As far as you apologizing to him for the incident in the car. I would have to say yes, you should. Not only were you trying to contorl the conversation, you were not allowing him to say what he felt he needed to say at the moment. How would you feel if you were trying to talk to him and he treated you the way you did him. It would make you upset, and I am sure would aggravate you whcih only leads into another argument. You both were tired, married life is not always what it appears to be. And him threatenting to "put you out on the street" LOL, he was just running off at the mouth. At the end of the day, you both will be laughing at the whole scenario. Good luck

Answer 21

yes. controlling the arguement isn't going to happen when you interupt him. My b/f get even more mad when i do that b/c men like to get their point across... so if you wanna control the convo listen to him then say your piece and vice versa.