Should I ask my brothers fiance to be in my wedding party even though I am not in hers.(happily)......?

Question

My little brothers fiance asked me to be in her wedding party....I said No at first which made my lil bro and her cranky, so I said yes I'd do it. (for them).

Then we had a fall out & didn't speak for over a year (Over something unrelated). Naturally she had to replace me as her bridesmaid. (WOOHOO) -

Now we are talking again should I ask her to be in my wedding party???

My fiance is asking my lil bro to be a groomsmen.

I know I wont be getting re-asked because the bridesmaid she replaced me with wont give up her possie and she made it quite clear. I am good with that.....

The reason I said no to being a brides maid was because of my bipolar & PTSD ...I didn't think I could be reliable for her. I don't want to ruin her day.

Answer 1

you should ask her to do it. it will be a good way to get closer to her.

Answer 2

Go ahead and ask her. You'll probably regret it down the road if you don't. If you really do want her in your wedding. Don't do it out of guilt.

Answer 3

yes you should let her be in your bridal party, then she will know that you have no hard feelings and your relationship can go along without any more hitches

Answer 4

Yes. You're older and should be the mature one and offer an apology also.

Answer 5

This answer is Blunt or brute force : Make up or get out. No other choice.

Answer 6

You know what? Grin and bear it. So what if she's in the wedding party. Put her at the end of the lineup. My girlfriend had so many bridesmaids it was almost comical, but it did look nice in photos.

My brother & sislaw's wedding had only the maid of honor, who wore whatever she wanted (dress), and they had one of the most beautiful weddings you ever saw in your life.  The key is the happiness of your hubby and you.

Answer 7

No.  Don't.  Just let her enjoy the wedding and ask someone else.

Answer 8

Yea ask.  It shows a level of maturity on your part plus you guys are back on speaking terms which is great.  

You want her to feel welcome into your life and your bro will appreciate it

Answer 9

Yea sure why not, one more person can't hurt, but i'm having trouble understanding your story.  So you didn't go to her wedding, and didn't talk with each other for awhile, then she replaced you, so yea.. thats nothing bad, as long as you had your reason ;\ I think you are just making this bigger than it is. ;x

Answer 10

Just because you are "talking again" doesn't mean you have to ask her. Your wedding party should be made up of people you feel close to.

If you feel close to her now, sure, ask her.

If you don't, and are just asking because you feel obligated, then don't bother asking her.

Simple.

Answer 11

Families, ya gotta love 'em. Weddings! - ya gotta love 'em even more!!

Do whatever it is that is right for you.  Rumour and innuendo can ruin what should be a perfectly happy time for all. Pay no attention to what others say, go to the source if you want to know something - trust your heart if you want to do something.

Answer 12

Honestly, I wouldn't ask her to be in the wedding. Since you guys had a falling out and you are no longer in her wedding I don't think you should get her involved. There might be some bad feelings on her part - and that's never good.

You had a very valid reason for not wanting to be in the wedding. You wanted to be reliable for the bride - which is something that a lot of bridesmaids/MOH's don't think about - I read on here all the time about brides having to deal with unreliable bridesmaids/MOH's and it causes a lot of stress.

If you truly feel like you want her involved make her bridesmaid, but don't involve her in a lot of wedding stuff. This way on the day of the wedding she will get to be in the wedding party with her husband. Also, since she is in the process of getting married you guys might clash a little - she might tell you to do things a certain way because that is the way she is doing it, etc. It happens.

Just think long and hard about your decision. I am sure you will do the right thing in the end.

Answer 13

Don't do it because you feel obligated. If you are going to do it, do it because it is something you want.

I went through this almost same situation. I had to tell my sister in law, that I no longer wanted her in my wedding. It was really hard to do, but it was something I needed to do to make sure that my wedding day went the way I wanted it to (it hasn't happened yet, but its coming in 39 days, eeek.... )

Do it if you want to but don't feel any kind of family obligation.

Good luc, remember this is your number 1 day. And don't let an illness rule your life. You rule it...k?

Remember, it is suposed to be fun, not stressful.

Jen

Answer 14

if you want her ask her, if you dont then dont!  Itsa nota bout whats right, itsa bout who you want standing there with you!

Answer 15

You never never never ask someone to be a bridesmaid for you to repay a debt, or because they're going to be your sis in law, or it's your mother's cousin twice removed, or anything like that.  You ask the people who you feel will be supportive of you and the most helpful for you on your big day...PERIOD.  If that's your sis in law, great, if not, great.  No one should ever EXPECT to be asked to be a bridesmaid, but it's amazing how many times people do.  If you really want her then ask her, but if you don't (and it sounds like you don't) then please don't.  

And as far as your illness is concerned, (I'm familiar with bipolar due to a family member having it) you know as long as you're staying on your meds, you should be fine.  Don't let your diagnosis keep you from doing the things you want to do--if you don't want to do it in the first place, that's fine, but don't let it stop you from living your life.  I know that's hard to do, but please live your life to the fullest!  Congrats on your upcoming marriage!  I wish you all the best.

Answer 16

it's YOUR day, you do what YOU want! and thats that

Answer 17

You should definitely have her in your wedding, things like that should not be a concern if a thousand people think enough of your and your fiances marriage to want to celebrate with you in that way then welcome it. Your attention should be on other more important things.

Answer 18

yeah sure after all she is going to be your sister in -law she might get mad at u again if you don't

Answer 19

Yes let her be in your wedding party but make her wear the most awful bridesmaid dress you can find lol.

Answer 20

No, if you don't like her it's supposed to be your big day so don't have someone you don't like in your wedding party. Maybe ask her if she would like to be in the wedding party and leave it up to her if you wouldn't mind having her. You had a very valid and CARING reason for not being in her wedding party if she doesn't respect that she is a little immature brat. Don't worry to much about it focus on yourself.

Answer 21

If you would like her to be in your Wedding Party then by all means ASK. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and are very easy going (is this one of your up moments?) or are you always like this? You obviously had good reason not to be in their wedding party and you let them know (you did tell them WHY you said No, Right?) They should have understood and been appreciative of your honesty and concern about your ability to handle and deal with the Stess and responsibility of being part of their Wedding. I say go ahead and ask...if she turns you down just say ok and let it go. I am truly glad you all are talking once again...you only get so many brothers and sisters!~~Aloha~~

Answer 22

If you want her there go ahead and ask,but if you are just asking her because you guys are talking again then NO! Its your day do what u want to do! You don't have to please anyone but yourself!