Should I ask my daughter for some financial assistance when I watch her son while she is at work?

Question

Both my husband and I work very long hours. We are working class people struggling to maintain a decent standard of living and live very simply. We care for our 9 year old grandson while my daughter, who has her own apartment, works a job that has akward hours. This requires significant changes in our schedules as I have a teenage son of my own to care for and my daughter is not the most organized person. I do my grandson's laundry, grooming and help with his homework when he is at my home and try to make him comfortable while he away from his own home which is twice a week and sometimes weekends as well. Should I ask my daughter to give me something each week to offset the added expense of caring for my grandson? The money would be used to buy him his lunches, after school snacks and clothing.

Answer 1

I don't feel there is no harm in asking her because as much as you are family money doesn't come out of thin air and caring for a child adds up like you said for packlunches and snacks etc especially if she can afford luxury items like getting her nails done and smoking cigarettes. At the end of the day it doesn't seem like she has realised that its not causing you any inconvenience but that she could be perhaps a little more helpful seeing as you are helping her out. Perhaps a small amount each week like £20-30, because technically she is saving alot more by not having to hire a babysitter.

Answer 2

I see nothing wrong with it, it sounds like you just don't want your watching him to cost you money... if you feel odd asking your daughter you could always approach it as "could you either bring food for him or give me some money so i can pick something up" that way it doesn't sound like you want paid for watching him... though nothing really wrong with that either in my opinion

Answer 3

i think you should or tell her you simply cant afford it and ask if she could make him something at home and bring it

Answer 4

My mom watches my children 3 days  ages 2-4 a week while I work.  My sisters over the summer also drop their kids there as well since my mom is there with mine they are 12 and 14.

I always feel like I should give my mom money since she is saving me so much in daycare but I can't afford if right now.  I do nice things though for her whenever I can to show I appreciate what she does.

I do bring lunch over there every day for the kids.  If they don't eat it she will give them something else and it comes home.  I at least make the effort and always make sure they have food, snacks and change of clothes.  They don't eat much so my mom doesn't mind feeding them but I do all I can to make it as easy as possible.

I would never ask my children for money some day if I can help them with their kids I think I would love it.  However if I am doing financially well than there is no reason that I should not at least attempt to give my mother something for her help.  Look up the prices of daycare and you would be glad to give something to mom.

My mom can use the money but I am in a downward financial situation right now so it doesn't work.  I was doing really well but things have changed as I am in the mortgage market I wish I can give my mom something cause she deserves it.

Tell your daughter what you need to assist so you can continue to help her out.  She doesn't want to pay daycare she will listen to your requests.  You are doing her a huge favor and saving her big money allowing her to go to work everyday.  Don't feel like you have to walk on egg shells.  My mom puts me in my place as needed cause she knows what she does for me.

Answer 5

I would just suggest her bring his supplies.  some snacks and a change of clothes. that way you are not spending out of pocket. (and you should have discussed this before you agreed to care for him)

if you ask for money now she is going to be offended.

Answer 6

Absolutely.  Unless of course your daughter is going through tough financial times herself.  But you may not know that until you actually have that conversation with her.

I bring my kids to my parents here and again while my husband have some adult time, sometimes or the weekend if we're going away.  I can't say that I always bring food for them to eat, but almost always... I know that extra food and stuff cost money.  It's only fair that if you watch her son, she contribute with maybe some groceries or something.

Answer 7

Why would you need to buy him clothing if he is there only twice and week and sometimes weekends? Personally, I would feel offended my child's grandmother asked for money for his food while he was there. How much can a 9 year old eat? If she isn't keeping him in good clothes or feeding him while he is home, that's a different story but it sounds like you find it a nuisance to feed your grandson. Most grandparents would be glad of the extra time to spend with their grandchild.

Answer 8

NO!  This is your grandson.  I am my mothers only daughter and I am expecting my first child.  My mom and i have discussed babysitting and never once has she ever said she wanted to charge me.  How rude is that!!!  I can understand where you are coming from but as a favor to your daughter trying to make a life of her own too, you should be there as a parent to help her out.

Answer 9

h**l yes you should!

Answer 10

hmmmmm well i don't think you should if your daughter has any financial problems but if she doesn't she could at least give u the money to buy groceries, not as a payment for looking after your grandson but just to help u out while doing so

Answer 11

Of course you should ask her to pay you for babysitting her child.  He is HER responsiblity and she should be paying for someone else to bear that burden while she is at work.  She would be paying a regular babysitter if not for you...you are allowing her to take advantage of you.

Answer 12

Instead of asking for cash, have her bring food supplies for lunch and snacks. It's always awkward dealing with money and family.

As far as clothes-- is she not dressing him well enough? If she doesn't have enough clothes for him already, it might be because she can't afford any more than he already has.

Answer 13

yes, at least for food, I see no reason why she couldn't help out, even if it is only 25.oo per week.  The others that say no must have never had thier parents watch their children on a daily basis. you are providing her with a service so your grandson is not left home alone, you should charge for this service. You would charge anyone else if they dropped their kids off for you to care wouldn't you?