Should I ask one of my college roomates of 2 years to be a bridesmaid or my current roommate of 1.5 years?

Question

Let me clarify. I already have asked 1 maid of honor (my sister) and 4 bridesmaids (my best friend from growing up, my two best friends from college, and my sister-in-law). Those were all easy choices. My fiance has 6 groomsmen and we want to keep a cap on things at 6. We aren't having a huge wedding....maybe 125 people. I love my roommate from college, but we hardly talk on the phone anymore. Although, I know that she would be somebody that I could call to bail me out of jail. She would drop everything for me. My current roommate is very sweet too and of course I see and talk to her everyday, but have only known her for 1.5 years. She is local, my college roommate is in another state.

Answer 1

Usually there is more than one bridesmaid, can't they both do it? Unless you mean maid of honor, then you should choose the closer friend.

Answer 2

Whoever you feel you are better friends with.

Answer 3

I think that you should really ask the girl who you have the closest connection with.

If that doesn't work, I'd ask the current roommate. It would be more difficult to deal with her being upset because you currently live with her.  

Either way, be gracious and kind to your other friend if her feelings are hurt by your selection.  No matter what you do, you are going to hurt someone because you don't include them. :(

Answer 4

A few factors involved in deciding who to pick. Of course they can both be attendants in your wedding if you feel close to both of them.

But first you want to consider generally accepted rules of thumb about what duties a bridesmaid holds (check out a site like theknot.com for that list)- generally the attendants can be responsible for their own dresses, for organizing/throwing parties (bachelor, bridal shower, etc). What are their finances like? What are their schedules like? The job entails also being there for you when things get hectic so you'll want someone whose schedule is a bit more accommodating to yours. To go dress shopping, shoes, flowers. Different kinds of things like that.

They need to know what's involved going in of course so they have the option to turn down the offer. Be prepared for this of course, because it is always a possibility. And no hard feelings- because you know for instance if I knew that my schedule down the road would not allow for that time commitment, I would personally say no to something like that.  Just because when it comes down to things you want someone there who WANTS to be there and CAN and won't be likely to change plans all the time. Mind you it takes two and since she'll be your sidekick you want to make sure she's not given a 30 page list of expectations - so anyway, plan plan plan, know what you want out of this person before you ask them!

Good luck and congrats!

Answer 5

I THINK YOU MEAN MAID OF HONER, WHICH YOU SHOULD PICK THE ONE YOU ARE ACTUALLY CLOSER TO.  IT DOESNT MATTER WHO YOUVE KNOWN LONGER WHAT MATTER IS WHO IS CLOSER AND IS ALWAYS THERE IN THE BAD AS AWELL AS IN THE GOOD TIMES.