Should I attend the wedding?

Question

I have a half sister. She doesnt live with my family. We have the same father, but a different mother, and our father lives with me, along with my mother. Shes ten years older than me, and im 14. we used to visit eachother all the time when i was young, and for some reason she stopped visiting. I havent seen her in like 8 years. She stopped calling on birthdays, fathers day, christmas, etc. The only contact i had with her was facebook, and i messaged her once or twice and she stopped messaging back once so i gave up. I recently found out shes getting married, and we werent invited to the wedding. I saw engagement photos on her facebook. I commented her and congratulated her, said she looked beautiful and to keep smiling. Now, we got a late invitation to go to the wedding. I feel like shes only inviting us because now she feels bad i commented her. I think it will hurt my father to see her walk down the aisle with someone else other than him, and also for the father-daughter dance......

Answer 1

Oh gawd... firts you are complaining for not being  invited, now you are invited, and it's not good enough for you?? It seems to me that you are inmature and imposible to please.

This is about her, not you and sorry, no bride has the time to be tiptoeing around people and their little bratty tantums gor godsake.

Good luck

Answer 2

just go because you will feel bad if you don't.  Sometimes you just need to be the bigger person.

Answer 3

Maybe cal her and find out if she really wants you there. If you want to go then you should if not then don't go. Its really up to you and what you want to do.

Answer 4

People in their 20s are very busy and often don't take time for family even when they are an intact family.  Don't take it to heart too much.  Just go to the wedding.  Life is complicated when you have 2 families, but what can you do?

Answer 5

i dont think so.....

Answer 6

talk to her. call her! ask her whatsup with everything.

im sure she'll tell you SOMETHING.

then make your decision

Answer 7

I would leave the decision up to your father.  If he wants to go, then go.

Also, it could be that she's not meaning to snub you, but it's more about her relationship with your father.  It sounds like your father has moved on with a 'new' family and that could be quite hurtful for her.  By you reaching out to her, it gave her the opportunity to invite you guys.  And if you don't go it will likely be putting an end to your relationship.

Families are made up of all different parts these days.  There are step parents, half sisters, step sisters and brothers...it doesn't matter what the make up of the family is as long as you can all be together.  No matter what the timing on the invitation was, the point is that you were invited.  Now it's up to you guys on what to do next.

Answer 8

Maybe you should go. Maybe she is trying to invite you back into her life and she is giving you the opportunity to accept. Go, have fun. Give a small gift, in case that is the only reason she is inviting you. As, far as your dad goes, he is going to have to come to peace in himself about her walking down the aisle with another person, or he should not attend. That way hopefully he won't get upset and cause a scene.

Answer 9

You guys should have been one of the first to get an invite i would not go.

Answer 10

You should go. She is family and regardless if there is a connection still go show her that you support her.

Answer 11

I think you should go.

and who is walking her down the aisle?

She's your sister

if you love her, go...maybe it will rekindle your relationship

Answer 12

I wouldn't go.  You should have been told a long time ago that she was getting married.  After all you are her sister!  If you didn't see her on facebook, would she have ever told you?!?  Probably not.

Answer 13

I know how you feel.  I have 2 half sisters that are 10 and 12 years older, then I have a half brother who is 10 years YOUNGER than me.  We all have the same father.  Three different mother's.  Talk about being the middle child!  

To be honest with you, the age difference is rather a lot for a sibling relationship.  I only saw them every once in a while when I was younger.  I have no relationship with my father.  Since adulthood, I stopped bothering.  It took too much energy to call, visit, email, etc.  I have had ZERO communication with my eldest sister in 20 years.  I have not had any contact with my second oldest sister and younger brother in 6 years.  Just because we all share the same sperm donor doesn't make us family.  My dad is a rutting fool and there's probably LOTS more siblings that I don't know about.  We half siblings are just the ones who are legitimate (the ones who's mothers our father bothered to marry).  Both my sisters got married.  I was told about it after the fact.  You know what?  My second older sister had our step sister act as her bridesmaid.  She never even considered me.  I wasn't even invited.  I didn't hear that she was pregnant until her son was 2 years old.  He's 15 now.  I think.  I've got five nieces and nephews I have never met, thanks to oldest sister.  

It's messy.  It's complicated.  But, being the one who is always making the effort gets very exhausting.  When you hold out your hand, you expect someone to grab it and when they don't, it's very disappointing.  Do I wish I had a relationship with my siblings?  Yes.  But I was always the one to fly or drive to them.  They never once in my entire life came to visit me.  Don't blame it on my mother, either, because they call HER all the time.  Everybody loves my mom.  I was always the one to make the phone calls.  Then they have to hang up and they say they will call back but they never do.  Never.  Their phone numbers change all the time, so I spent a lot of time tracking them down.  My current cell phone number hasn't changed in 12 years.  My home number has been the same since I was 5.  With the exception of the year I lived in Europe, they could call me whenever they want.  

So, if my little brother invited me to his wedding, would I go?  Yes.  I would.  I love him very much.  I love my sisters.  But I decided to stop wasting time forcing a strained relationship.  

Just because people don't react the way we wish they would, doesn't mean we can stop being ourselves.  I will always grab the hand someone extends to me.  Even if they don't return the favor.

Go to the wedding.  Make an appearance at the reception, then sneak out.

Answer 14

I would talk to your mom and dad about it. Tell them how you feel and then ask them to tell you how they honestly feel. I think that this is a decision that the three of you should make together. And of your parents decide to go, you should go also. That way your family is there together and you are there to show support to your dad if he needs it. But just remember, this woman is your sister.