Should I be concerned about drug use or is this normal behavior from a 21 year old girl?

Question

My son and daughter in law separated in January. Since she has been out on her own, she has gotten three new tattoos, tongue pierced, lost probably 40 pounds, cut hair really short, hangs with what looks like real winners, lies to everyone (we have caught her), post party pics on line (alcohol all that is seen), changes her work schedule almost weekly, yells and screams when around her soon to be ex husband, stalks soon to be ex husband and his new girlfriend, makes false accusations about their two year old having caught std's, false accusations about their two years old being anemic, goes from screaming to crying, telephone harassment, makes threats about beating people up, forgets to call her son on several nights off from work, never offers child support (father has custody), does not request child on days off but when convenient for her, tells the two year old not to just say mom if he is not going to say what to her, and only wants to really talk to the dad when she does call.

Answer 1

Sounds like she needs a therapist. She is not happy with herself that's for sure.

I think the child should come first and from what I am reading, she is not a healthy woman to have a baby around.

I would try talking to her. Offer her help, give her numbers of organizations she call, but try not to alienate her by accusing her of things.

If she refuses the help, I am of opinion you might want to get child services involved, since the child is most important and should not suffer the consequences of mom's poor life choices.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Sounds like she is depressed.

Answer 3

the ***** done lost her mind!

Answer 4

That girl needs help.

Answer 5

I'm 22 and to tell u the truth, i've never aloud myself to be in this position - it;s not normal. Seams like she's acting like a teenager.... I think she neads all your help and support. Try a psychologist, it seams like she is depressed or manipulated. Dont let it go as it is, thinking that its going to be ok, take measures right away, be with her, try to help her.

Answer 6

sounds only slightly abnormal... the screaming and crying is understandable. And a lot of time stressfull emotional changes bring about social and personal changes as well... And you have to remember that drug use is normal behavior for a 21 year old woman.

Answer 7

sounds like she is hurt, depressed and confused. 21 is so young to be married have a child and be divorced (that would be prego at 18-19 right? did she get to finish High School?)

I bet her world has been torn apart, her dreams of adulthood, family, children shattered. that is so sad, i just wanta go give her a hug. she is trying to hid and bury the pain and grief she is feeling. I hope she makes it though, so people cant deal and destroy themselves. so young, poor girl. Was your son s******g around on her? my god i just cant imagine.

Answer 8

That's defintely not normal. She needs to be sat down and told she needs help.

Answer 9

does that sound normal?

sounds like she is manic depressive.

Answer 10

First of all at 21 she is an adult and you have no right butting into her life...Secondly she doesn't HAVE to offer child support.  If the father wants to collect child support from her he has to go to court and have an order of support drawn up by the court.  Since there is no order of visitaiton she can request to see the child whenever she feels like it, she doesn't HAVE to talk to the child on the phone.  The problems between your son and daughter in law are THERE problems, they are adults...butt out.

Answer 11

I'm not a professional but it sounds like she may be manic-depressive. She needs to talk to a psychiatrist.

Answer 12

You are way too involved.  Step back and let your son, who is a man now, work through this on his own.

Answer 13

Not normal.  I would hope that the divorce was in order if not already.   She's psycho, bad news and one very mixed up chic. Very possibly drugs too.  You could do a court order drug testing if there seems to be problems of her being around the child for long periods or in case there was a problem with custody issues.  Child support would have to be established in court too as obviously she doesn't plan to pay. She's very self centered and jealous.  Wants to start issues.  Sounds like some mental issues here.  Too bad her life is this way.  She really needs some professional help.  Staying away from her would be the best thing that could be done or have a court order against her if your son and his girlfriend are being stalked.  Personally there shouldn't be a girlfriend in your son's life if there hasn't been a final divorce.  I couldn't tell if this has already been since you mentioned that the father has custody.  (Is this legal custody already established?)

Answer 14

She needs major help. But your son is s******g himself up having a girlfriend while the divorce is still pending. Does he not realize she can counter sue him on the grounds of infidelity and take the kid away from him?

Noey- since when is drug use normal for anyone? That is a huge load of c**p.

Answer 15

Yes, definitely needs help. Counseling. Lots of issues. Doesn't she have other family to help her? If not, and if you're willing, try to get her help so her son can have a half decent mom, even if she doesn't have custody. She's probably gone through a lot in her past and to this day. If she won't take the help, there's not much you can do for her.