Should I be his lover? Is he being selfish?

Question

I just broke up with my boyfriend cause My ex's Uncle called him and told him that his Mother said either Choose her or His gf. She wants to have an arranged marriage for him and wants him to get married soon to the woman she picks. He told me that he had to end cause she told the same to his brother and his brother is picking his gf and he said that he can not leave his mom since he is the eldest. He asked can we be lovers even after he gets married? I said no and he got mad and He said lets end then. I told him we can be friends. Is it selfish of him to want to be lovers? He would want to come online sometimes when his wife is not around and chat with me and talk about s*x. I feel that is not fair to me. Is he being selfish??

Answer 1

He's definitely being selfish and unreasonable, probably all he wants from you is s*x, and what he's suggesting is unfair both to you and to the girl he is going to marry, my advice to you is, break it up, tell him that since he has made his choice, he must face the consequences of it. He cannot have his cake and eat it too. JUST END IT. In my opinion, you're much better off without him, don't give in to his pressure tactics. Tell him to his face it's over. After all, he was the one that made the choice. Don't let him make you feel guilty, he just wants someone to shift the blame onto. I wish you good luck in life, keep your chin up, you're worth ten of him.

Answer 2

absolutely. he is a selfish,dependent,flirt,....... and not a true lover.

i suggest u shouldn't be friend with this type of person.

Answer 3

Well its a complex situation..........

u r right at ur place,,, having relationship before marriage is one thing , and breaking up as couple and marrying other individuals but still wishing to continue with afffair is another thing, it can be termed like

"Extra Maritial affair".

now u kno what society may consider it as bad thing but its commongthing as many people go through it ,but again if u dnt wish to be like tht u  should not say yes just for his sake...,, dont let your life be disturbed due to what he wishes for.

ill tell u, u r right at ur place ,dont ever feel guilty tht u will break his heart or anything, he just wants someone when his wife will not be around, if u agree now and give it to him, ull have no way out,,, so saying no an even breaking up [even if it means not talking for ever]. ... Dont become his slave ..... u have entire life ahead ,,live it  with ur wish and enjoy it .

having s*x chat is not bad but after marriage with another women,, ...its strange,, plz dnty agree to him now.. or else u will have no way out..

tell him no straight away,, lwt him feel what he wants to and 1 impt thing,, by saying tht he wants to end relation if u dnt agree he is just trying to  blackmail u emotionally, dont fall for it ,,,,if he troubles u,, talk to some one elderly person ,,, whom u trust and let few of urfriends kno abt this[trusted ones]...

and stop taking his calls ,,ignore him completely,,,, dnt sms him back,,, remove him fr mmessenger and/or orkut/facebook/hi5/myspace.....

and 1 more thing ,,  to break up with u is his decision,, so dnt go back to him,, tell him if he wants u,, then he should marry u,, if he really loves u he will marry u, otherwise let him do what his mother wants to.Its not ur fault