Should I be intimate with a friend of mine?

Question

He is curious; and asked me if we could be intimate so he could be sure of his orientation... My question is ; has anyone helped someone out in this way; or will this just ruin our friendship in the end... I like the guy as a friend... nothing more; but I do understand he needs someone he can trust...

Answer 1

no

Answer 2

Think about it very, very carefully. s*x usually ruins a friendship.

Answer 3

I assume that you're both in your teens, thus in puberty. Even in adults past puberty men and women have wondered, but especially among teens. It is not uncommon for youth in puberty to experiment with same s*x and still be straight.

You don't mention if you're bi/g*y, just that he's curious.

I believe that since he has brought up his curiosity to you that he trusts your discretion and likes you enough as a friend to do this with you; also, since you brought this up that you may be a bit curious yourself and may even like him enough to trust him as a confidante.

In answer to your question: yes. I didn't fancy my pal sexually, but he was struggling with his sexuality and knowing that I am bi leaning toward g*y he turned to me. I was confidant in our friendship and agreed. I was suprized at the outcome, it was great! We are still very good friends today. He's now married with kids and straight. I did the same with another good friend (same situation) and again was very pleased. We are not only still pals, but with fringe benefits.

I'd say, go for it, but before hand ensure that you both keep it between yourselves no matter the outcome and no promise of a repeat or companionship unless you both agree. You may be suprized as I was, even just to have a good friend with fringe benefits.

Good luck and I'd be interested to know your decision and the outcome if it is to try. I'm sure many of us would.

Answer 4

Unfortunately I was never in your exact situation but I did have a friend who went through the same thing your friend is going through. If I were in your situation I would not do it but it is me, not you. The issue for you centers on two questions. First question are you bi-curious or bisexual? If you are then it might be worth considering but if you are not then it is most likely a bad idea. Final question, what type of relationship do the two of you have? It sounds as though your relationship is a bit intimate, close friends. Being close friends could cause problems especially if he develops feelings for you or the friends ends because of the encounter.

My recommendation would be to help your friend find the answer to his question not by having s*x with him but helping to find community resources that can help him with his journey.  Most larger cities have a LGBT group in some form that can help and give him someone to talk with. Also I would recommend being supportive and be there to listen to him, not to 'sleep with him'. Finally I know this is not an easy situation to be in and it creates a lot of questions for you. I hope that my advice will help you along in your journey for the answer to this question.

Answer 5

Hey, if it doesn't creep U out then U may LIKE it !

Answer 6

I did and it was great even though I was shocked at first by my pals offer. I've done it since with him and it just keeps getting better. I don't think if you have a good friendship and it is kept between the two of you there should be a rift between you after. You may really enjoy it.

Answer 7

It almost sounds to me like he's a friend, but he wants to do you.  Maybe even secretly in love with you.  I would never ask a friend of mine (platonic friend) to have s*x with me just to see if I feel a certain way.  I would want him to have s*x with me because I wanted to be with him.  He says he want to be with someone he can trust, but I'm telling you I don't trust his motives.  I would, however, be flattered that he thinks of me that way, but if you think it would place your friendship in jeopardy, then you better take the high road on this one.