Should I be mad or just let it go?

Question

Friday night my husband and I argued about me having male friends. Since he has known me I have always gotten along with men better than women. I stopped chatting on-line and talking on the phone with my friends to put his mind at ease. He still gets an occasional call from his female friends and he still chats on-line.

Anyways that night after he was done yelling and cussing at me I grabbed my purse to go have coffee at IHOP. He accused me of running of to one of my male friends as I walked out the door. Then he yelled for me to find somewhere else to sleep that night. He apologized in a text message but I was still hurt.

I came back but was really shaken by his gall to say that to me. Then the next day after I had arranged for the kids to be gone her tells me he is going to see his dying grandfather (whom I have never met but wanted to), visit his god children ( whose mother is the woman he once cheated on me with) and generally hang out. I wanted to go and he told me no because he didn't feel like baby sitting.

I am pissed!!! Am I over reacting?

Answer 1

Wow.....Sweetie you are too good for him.

1) He controls who your friends are

2) He is a hypocrite, he has girls for friends but thinks you should have none that are guys

3) He cusses and yells at you.

4) He has cheated on you.

Above all this you have children who see and hear this stuff. They are learning how to love from seeing your relationship with him.

You should be pissed, in my opinion you should have been pissed a long time ago.

Run fast and far from that man....and brand him or something so the rest of us know to steer clear!

Answer 2

No, I don't think you are over reacting.  Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too.  He wants to do what he wants without any questions asked and wants you to stay where you are so he can keep tabs on you are something.  I may be reading more into than it is.  But, yes I would be pissed too.  Sounds like if you have male friends, he feels like he doesn't trust you, but that's his problem, because he can't even trust himself since he has cheated on you before.  I hope things get better for you, but I don't understand the "baby sitting" comment.  He has no respect for you.  You deserve better!

Answer 3

The friends,  both are doing the same. About the visiting, over reacting.  Let the whole thing go.

Answer 4

He's still cheating!!  Open your eyes girl.   And he's accusing you of doing it, because it's in his plans  to be doing it, so for some sick reason, he's trying to place all the guilt on to you!!!

While he's gone, pack all of his sh*t, have it on the porch, and have the locks changed.  If yu don't feel comfortable doing that, then pack your stuff and you leave while he's gone.

I bet you a lot, he'll be off cheating  and IS.

Answer 5

No, not about him going without you.  He's probably going to cheat on you as he feels you have cheated on him.  

Answer 6

You know how he is now or forever will be. He will never change . The only option you have is to get out of that relationship.

Answer 7

Whaaaaa.. Red flags everywhere! Wth, are you blind, girl? He is a possessive insecure control freak with trust issues. He cheats himself and because of his sick mind assumes you are cheating too. He has female friends, but you can't. He goes to hang out with the woman he cheated on you with but you can't go. No, you are not overreacting, jeez. You need to start respecting yourself and stand up for yourself. Unless you enjoy being treated like that.

Answer 8

I wouldn't let it go.  He implied that you were off to see someone behind his back.  And he's being a jerk.  Talk to him seriously & tell him you won't deal with accusations or threats anymore.  He should never have told you to find somewhere else to sleep.  That's your home.  I would talk to him about it.

Answer 9

Hes cheating on you and you know it you just don't want to admit it, he is throwing such a fit because he wants to keep up a smoke screen he is getting his and doesn't want you to have any.  

Answer 10

Emotions are never wrong.  It is how we react to them that are wrong.  So your feeling hurt is not wrong.  Your actions... doesn't sound like you decided what to do, other than feel hurt, and that sounds like a reasonable emotion.

Figure out what it is you are really mad at.  You may think it is his action of going to do all those things without you, including seeing a woman he cheated on you with, which would make any woman uncomfortable, but it's really your belief system.  Do you feel he doesn't value you?  Do you not trust him to see her, especially after the emotionally charged night before?  Think of this, try to calm down and explain it to him when you are calm.

If he overreacts, well, that is his issue, but at least you didn't put your feelings on the backburner, but handled yourself in a dignified way.

Answer 11

NO YOU ARE NOT that man of yours want to do some thing slick and try to make you feel some kind of way about it and if you let him won then don't complain but always know what is good for the goose is always good for the gunther you are right feeling the way you feel ,may be he has a lot to hide and you should now start checking him and his pockets at night / good luck.and always remember two wrongs don't make a right.