Should I be so disappointed?

Question

My boyfriend broke a promise. Its not really much but i feel sad. and confused. Mostly because he promised me he wouldn't drink and yet he still did. What got to me was the fact that he was trying to hide it from me. If he would have just told me the next day i wouldn't mind and i'd forgive him but he didn't. And it really got to me because i've been through alot when it comes to people and drinking. So i don't know whether i should be upset with him or not. it's been on my mind alot lately and im so confused with my emotions.

Answer 1

Well, I guess it would depend on what kind of drinking he did. Is he an alcoholic? because if he is and you are being affected by it then you have all the right to be disappointed and is not a small thing like you said. More so if you have been a victim of alcoholism too. Why did you ask him not to drink? Was there an even the next morning that he needed to be sober for? Did he drive drunk? Did he missed something because he was hungover?

But! and this is a BIG BUT. IF he is not an alcoholic, if he doesnt have an alcohol problem and he is only drinking normally, then it is NOT your place to ask for promises of him not to drink. Obviously YOU have issues with alcohol (not wanting people to drink) that doesnt give you the right or the power to ask your boyfriend to quit drinking.  If alcohol is that much of an issue to you then you should get a boyfriend that doesnt like alcohol but you wanting him to quit drinking when and if he does it in moderation, then thats just as bad as a vegetarian pushing his agenda on a meat eater and viceversa, those are YOUR choices, they don't have to be HIS also.  Maybe if you didn't ask for promises  and held him to unrealistic standards that he doesn't want to be help up to, then he wouldnt break them the promises he didnt want to make in the first place.

Answer 2

If he did it once he will do it again.The lies will only get deeper.I was was with a guy that did the same thing only it was drugs.I thought he could change.We got marred...It was the biggest mistake of my life!It was 8 years of he would lie.. .i would find out...he would be sorry...he would do it again...i would feel like $h!t ...over and over and over.Do your self a favor and get out now.

Answer 3

Do yourself a favor.Do not settle for less than what you deserve.If alcohol is not your thing do not tolerate it,if liars make you sad stay away from them.It is not easy but there are great people in this world that don't drink,and don't lie to people they truly love.  

Answer 4

Most people need help to quit drinking.  He's hiding it from you because he feels ashamed or guilty.  He can't quit, or he doesn't want to.  Either way, you can't make him quit, but you don't have to stay with him if he drinks either.  Maybe, if he loses you he will quit, and maybe he wont.  See if you can help him get treatment, but if he doesn't go, it may be time to let this one go, bye bye boyfriend.  Good luck!

Answer 5

If your boyfriend knows that you don't like it when he drinks then yes, you have every right to be disappointed.  You have obviously had some bad things happen in the past and it is not right of him to want to disregard that, especially if he loves you as he says he does.  I would confront him, and if he won't listen, say you need a break.  But don't try to blame yourself for his mistakes, this isn't your fault he is in the wrong.

Hope this helps, and good luck.

Answer 6

If he was just out having a good time with some friends and had a beer or two...... he shouldn't have to promise not to do that, but you don't say if he has a problem or if you have the problem.