Should I beg her to take me back?

Question

My girlfriend is mad at me because I was in a bad mood a few days ago. When she gets mad she completely breaks off all contact with me. A few times she's broken up with me over very trivial things. When this happens I usually go over to her place and apologize and beg and plead for a few hours, and she eventually comes around. We have spoken about this behaviour, she knows it's not good and she shouldn't do it. She said she didn't think she would do it again, but now she did. I decided to teach her a lesson by leaving her alone this time, but it's been a couple days and I think she just may be willing to sacrifice our whole relationship just so she doesn't have to be the one to come talk to me. I'm starting to think this is really stupid, that I should go talk to her, I can't let our relationship end just because I was in a bad mood for a couple hours. On the other hand, I'm starting to wonder if she really doesn't feel for me the way I feel about her, and me going and apologizing every time is just delaying a later breakup.

95% of the time she is an incredible person, I have never met anyone like her. It's just when she gets this way that I don't know how to deal with her. What should I do? Go talk to her or wait for her to come round?

Answer 1

Well, it sounds like she's much more sensitive and over-reactive to situations than she needs to be, unfortunately.  If you are always bending over and apologizing, then she will always expect you to do that.  If she's the kind of person who would sacrifice a relationship over something minor, cut off communication entirely, this is not going to change down the road unless she grows up or out of it.  

What about when she gets in a bad mood?  Does she come over and apologize for hours to you?  I would stand down, and ignore the behavior you want to extinguish.  Reward the behavior you want to encourage.  It's a two way street, if you're always the one saving the relationship, just how much does she value it?  It's fine to apologize once immediately, but to make a whole production out of a little deal is rather immature, self-centered, and doesn't leave room for compassion or acceptance of the fact that we all have bad days.  

This isn't normal adult behavior, and even 5% of this is something you have to ask yourself if it's worth it.  Are you the one investing more of yourself in the relationship or is she putting in effort too?  There's other wonderful women out there, you probably just haven't met them yet.