Should I call my mother in law?

Question

my mother in law is a jehova witness, my husband is a excommunicated jehova witness. So in their belief the members of the church are not allowed to speak to those that are excommunicated, meaning my mother in law will not speak to my husband.

The problem is, is that we have a 15 month old son. She has always told me that she doesnt have a problem with me, and that she would love to see me. Well, last may I called her up b/c my parents were in town visitng and I thought she would love to meet my parents. Well the only reason why she wouldnt come visit was because my husband was home and she wasnt going to see him, and I told her that it sucks that she is using that as a bind in our relationship because my husband had his own beliefs and wasnt going to join the church again and that I couldnt believe that she would just drop him as a son, a person she gave life too and raised till he was an adult, just because of his beliefs and values. Well, I have yet heard from her, and I know I'm welcome to call her at any time, and I do want her as a grandmother for my son, but in the back of my mind Im mad at her for the way she is treating the man I love. What should I do? should I call her and just make amends or should I let her take the next step and get her to call me?

Answer 1

There is probably not much you will be able to say to her to get her to change her mind. If she is really into her religion and that is how they believe then you won't have an impact. It is crazy that she will talk to the wife of her son but not her son.

You could reach out for the sake of your child but how does your husband feel about that. I would discuss it with him before doing anything.

Answer 2

Leave it alone.  She is the one who has to make her own decisions and it is unfair to your husband to forge a relationship with his mother that doesn't include him.  If she does have a relationship with your son, think about the future and what she may say to him that might cause a wedge between him and his father.  It is tragic that some people are so blinded by religion that hate overcomes the love that should be foremost.  I am a Christian and have many friends of different denominations and even though we approach our worship differently, we can still share the love and joy that our Savior brings.  I also have a good friend of many years who is a Muslim and we often have frank, and civil, discussions about our religions.  

The problem is not religion, it is the fanatical fringe that gives religion a bad name.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Does not sound like she deserves the grief you are going through over this does it?

She is being hateful and spiteful and if she can do it to her own son she can turn on her own grandchild and you as well.

Tread lightly dear. You have a family now, one that does not consist of her because of her beliefs. Take care of your family.

When your child is old enough to wonder why he has not had a relationship with your husbands mother, his grandmother explain to him that sometimes people make bad decisions in their life and she made one.

Answer 4

Why would you want to have anything to do with her when she won't have anything to do with her own son? How would your husband feel about it? I think you need to be supportive of your husband here.

Answer 5

you should let her call you.  I know that it is hard to believe that some one would drop their own flesh and blood for religion, however people have done stranger in the name of God.  Just back off, let her come to you.  She is the one missing out!