Should I change my foster baby's name after I adopt her?

Question

I know it is who she is and I should accept it, but what if she has what sounds like a p**n star or stripper name? Would it be okay to alter it a little to help her out?

Answer 1

no. her name is her identity.  not a reflection of your comfort.

BTW...what exactly is a "stripper name?"

Answer 2

This is something I battled with myself. My foster daughter had the same name as my older daughter. She came to us at 18mos. We intended on adopting her, so I knew having two girls with the same name would be weird. I added a new name to her given first name, so now she is called by two names (like Emily Elizabeth or Andrea Frances). I never want her to lose something her mother gave her.

Answer 3

We have a son who was adopted as a baby. We did not change his first name because we wanted to respect his birth mother. We did however change his middle name because we wanted part of his name to be from us. We gave him a middle name that means gift from God. We did explain the name change and the reasons behind it to his birth mother.

I think that if he had an unreasonable name we would have changed the first name, or at least called him by his new middle name.

Answer 4

Im adopted..

and my mom

changed my name

i dont care at all.

and my birth mom

was not offensive in

any way it depends on

the birth mom or birth dad.

Answer 5

well what make u happy it ok now that ur the adoptive family u can do what u please.

Answer 6

If your foster child is a baby, then I would say go ahead and change or alter her name as long as parental rights have already been terminated.  If you are going to change her name, then I would suggest calling her by her new name as soon as possible.

If your foster child is older, then the decision to change her name could possibly be discussed with her.

I have seen foster parents change their foster children's names many times.  The age range has been from infants to teenagers.  Of course, with infants it is easier.  With adolescents and teenagers it could be as easy as including them in the discussion and letting them pick their own name.  But, all of the foster parents did not try to hide the fact that their foster children were given a name at birth and that name had a special meaning to their parent(s).

Answer 7

i was adopted at the age of five and my name was changed.  My parents let me help in the process of it and i thought it was really cool.  i turned out just fine. in my situation it was for my own protection wich my parents explained when i was older.  i'm glad they did :)

Answer 8

Definatly! She's going to be your child anyways! As long as she is under 6-7 months and she can handle it, go for it!

** hope it turns out well!

Answer 9

I would talk it over with your husband instead of asking all of us. If you really want to change her name, I would do it if I wanted to. But, if it is like a p**n star or a strippers name, what is the deal with just keeping her name what it is now. I understand you think that people will think she will be a stripper or a p**n star, but they can think what they want to and *YOU* can think what you want to think. If you want to change her name, then good luck with picking one.

Answer 10

I've always been against that myself. I do foster adoptions....the only time I can see it that is if a child is named after their abuser or something like that.

I have supported correcting spellings (I had an Arthur spelled Author).

I just don't like it.....personally or professionally, but it is your choice....your reasons sound in the right place!

Answer 11

When we were looking for children to be considered as adoptive parents for... there were two little girls with horrible names listed... I think they were something like Princess Electra and Royal Velvet...  They were twins and I wondered just how they FELT about the names...

When our son was placed his name was Jeremiah... and at first I didn't like it because of the Bull Frog song... Which everyone seems to think he has never even heard before... By the time he was two and couldn't even talk everytime someone would start he would add the Boom Boom Boom ....

By the time we finalized his name grew on me and we kept it.

His older sister has well educated him about their past and what happened in their lives... Now he is 6 and attending school... He has selected to Change his own name... We are not sure of the reasons... But it seems to be that he is angry his sister told him what she knows and that was that we decided to maintain their birth names...

If it is a Stripper Name I would alter it... I would attempt to keep the Known Name or a version of it...  If she is old enough to have her own oppionion I would ask her?

Answer 12

We had a similar situation.  Our younger son had a name with a very odd spelling.  No one seeing the name written had any idea how to pronounce it (it was akin to spelling "Frank" as "Phraenque").  When he came to live with us at 10 months old (we adopted him at 18 months), my wife and I discussed things and decided that it would be better if we changed the name.

We also adopted his older brother.  We kept his name unchanged, both because he is older and because his name was more conventional.

I think that if you feel that the name will be a problem later in life, as we did, then I believe it is the right decision to change it.  If you are really worried, you could keep it as a middle name to maintain that connection.

Answer 13

This is a sticky situation, whichever way you look at it because on one hand you are altering possibly one of the only things their biological mother gave them.... but on the other hand you could be incorporating something from your family or saving them from future embarrassment. I think it all boils down to who are you doing this for? Are you doing it for yourself or your child? I've seen a  number of cases like this where the parents will change the name to something similar, make a new name based on the  real name, change it altogether, make it a middle name, etc.

No matter what you decide, you should be open about it with the child either now or when they are old enough to understand... they deserve to know.. it is their right and a valuable piece of who they are.

If you're doing it because you're embarrassed of the name, you might want to think twice... the child could see it totally different and if the child is old enough to comprehend the situation... include them!!

Answer 14

If the child is very young (under 10 months) it would be fine they don't fully grasp the concept of their exact name. My kids all responded to nicknames at that age as well as their names. But if the child is more than a year old i would worry that they may have a problem with the name change at first. But you should be happy that you are being given the gift of adopting a child. Does the name really matter that much? Hope this helps