Should I change the name of our foster baby when we adopt her.?

Question

We have had her since she was 5 weeks old, she is now a year. We were thinking about adding her middle name which is Lynn to her first name and then giving her a new middle name. Don' t tell me what a terrible person I am for taking her identity away, we just want to add to her name.

Answer 1

She already has such a beautiful name, why change it?  Also, as she gets older and has to sign it, long names can be harder to spell.  

My late husband name his children with just first names, so they wouldn't have to write the entire name.

Of couse he was named Richard Neal (8 letters), Jr.

Answer 2

At 1 year old she hasn't really learned her fullname yet so it will be fine.  If you want to go ahead.  I just don't agree with it after they hit 3 years old because they are already starting to learn their name and it causes confusion but at 1 you should be fine

Answer 3

You are her parents now, and you are her identity.  My son who is 5 wants his whole name changed because he wants to be named after his parents.  Go for it, and she is yours, and if you had her bio. you would have named her!

Answer 4

I dont think u are being a horrible person at all. I put my hands out 2 u for even taken on the role of being a foster parent. I think it would definately not be an easy thing to do. I can understand why u may want to change her name especially if it is to something that may be in relation to ur family. I guess ur wanting to put a little piece of u into her as u are the people who have pretty much raised her,u may not be her biological parents but im sure when she is old enough to understand she will be grateful for everything u have done for her and changing her name may be something she may feel is very special and would make her feel like a real part of your family.

Answer 5

I adopted 2 children and they were 4 & 5 when they were adopted and so we didn't change their first names but asked if they wanted to change their middle name. My son wanted to take my husband's middle name but my daughter wanted to keep hers like it was. I think it nice especially if the child is getting a family name that has passed down so that the child feels like they are really accepted as part of your family.  it will also give you the feeling of having a closer bond when you also get to help decide her name.  That is one of the funnest parts of being a new parent is choosing the name.  I don't see why adoptive parents should be denied that joy.

Answer 6

Do it girl!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

The fact that you are acknowledging that you are taking her idenity away is telling enough. Even if you are just saying it to be defensive and negative.

Don't change her name because you "just want to".  I am assuming that you are giving her your last name when you adopt her, isn't that enough?  Love her for who she is, not who you want her to be.  Let her keep her first and middle names the way they are.

Answer 8

If you change her name because you don't like it since you had her with you, I think it's a good thing to do while she's this age. I feel she's your baby and I don't think you're being a bad person for wanting to do this. I understand that it would cause confusion in her little mind if she was older, but at this age, she won't be affected. Go for it, hon....you won't regret it.

Answer 9

Please don't.

If she already has given a name - changing it will really be about you - and not her.

If she wants to change it when she's older - then it's her choice.

By all means - add some extra names - but please don't change her name because it suits you better.

It's part of her - it's where she came from.

Honour her - by leaving it well alone.

Thank you.

ETA: you said it yourself - you WANT to - you're making it about you - not about her.

Answer 10

I could see you changing the last name, but what does it matter with the first and middle name?  SInce she's a  year old she already knows what her first name is.  I just don't see the point in changing the first and middle name.

Answer 11

I think its fine she is still so young and your not trying to take away, your trying to add.  When she is older you can always give her the option of deciding if she still wants to use her added name or just use the one she had before you all adopted her.

Answer 12

If she all ready knows her name then I would not do it.

Answer 13

When you do adopt your baby girl, you will not only have the legal right to change her name, but also the ethical right to do so.  Her identity will be intertwined into your family. What a lucky little girl to have such caring, concerned parents. ENJOY your lives together!

Answer 14

...............

I didn't like how my name was changed. I find it's a bit insulting.

I know quite a few of us like that, had who's names were altered and don't think much of it. A few still love their A-parents but still feel insulted just the same.

Who the child is and who you want it to be are not the same, don't get them confused.

Hope your child don't  think the same thing as we do when they grow up.

Answer 15

I don't think you should.  And I'm not sure why you would want to.  You've already had time yourselves to get used to her name.  It would seem strange to change it after eleven months.  

(I won't tell you that you are a terrible person.  I don't have any reason to think that.  But I assume you wanted to know what we think, or you wouldn't have asked.)