Should I charge my 11 year-old?

Question

My son called and asked me to bring him his homework, problem is this is the 4th time this year. I have told him that it's irresponsible of him to forget his homework. When he called me today I told him there would be consequences for forgetting it. His grades aren't the best and school is almost over so I decided to bring it. I have to leave work so would it be fair to charge him for time missed plus gas money or should I take away electronics or another type of punishment? I think it would be fair to charge him I figure it will cost me $11.12 is this unreasonable? He has the money. Or is this too harsh?

Answer 1

don't make him pay with money. Make him work around the house to work off what you lost.

Answer 2

Sounds like a good idea to me.  He has to learn to be responsible.  I am having the same problems with my 11 year old.....  Good luck with it.  But yes, i dont think that is too harsh at all.

Answer 3

My son was in the habit of calling me too. After the first few times I told him no I couldn`t because I was busy.

Sometimes the best way for kids to learn is not through monetary losses but natural consequences. If he doesn`t have the homework there he will not get the grade. Asking him in the evening before bed a couple of times might get him in the habit of checking up on himself. As for charging him, do you have some yard work for him to do?

Answer 4

I think it's great. You are awesome.

Answer 5

It's not too harsh- but it might not mean much to him. I would definitely punish him- make him do extra chores for a week, for example.

Answer 6

Oh yea.. I think he should get one free-be because stuff happens. After that I would charge $15. For the time I had to take off of work and the gas I had to use. This way he will learn that if he doesn't do his work he pays for it. My mom wouldn't bring it at all. She would let me get the bad grade so next time I know to bring it. Either method works.

Answer 7

not unreasonable but makes me wonder, how much do you charge your husband for his needs?

Answer 8

I think that is awesome!

Answer 9

Its not to harsh but since you know he has that much money. charge him and  take away the tv and computer for a day or to and tell him if it happens again he'll be grounded from something the entire summer

Answer 10

You think taking money from a child is OK?  Think about it Mom.     What example does THAT set for your kid?

What you should have done is just let him suffer the consequences.  For the remainder of the year, I would suggest planning out an organized schedule for getting ready in the morning so that his homework goes with him. You should have been doing this before. You are the parent. You are supposed to teach him responsibility.

Answer 11

yes that's a bit harsh don't you think, no i think that taking away his games or electronics or some other punishment is better, i mean he'll feel it a lot if you take away the things he really likes, like if he's a game person like my eldest son, i see that works wonders for my son, but it's only if your child is a gamer like mine, but find something that he likes and take it away for like a week or so, remember you're just trying to teach him responsibility, you're not punishing him for something that he did that was majorly bad, so try it and see, don't take away the kid's money from him, that's just cruel, save that one for something that he does really bad...lol!!

Answer 12

As a 5th/6th grade teacher I think that charging your child is not the best response.  If your child has only forgotten their homework 4 times in a school year (once a quarter) AND has called to have you bring it for them I would say you are lucky.  I would encourage the responsible behavior being demonstrated by your child rather than discouraging it.  Perhaps pointing out to them how much you appreciate that he wants to make sure his homework is done but each time you have to get it for them it is very inconvenient.  Then asking your child to do something for you that would take away from his free time might be a more understandable consequence for him.  Punishing him in a monetary way could just encourage him to not bother to ask you next time and hurt his grades even more.  Doing a favor for him as you would your spouse and then asking that he do a favor in return might be a more positive way to respond.  Positive reinforcement goes much farther at this age than negative.

Answer 13

There has to be a consequence.  My daughter did this pretty regularly through middle school (she's in eighth grade); so regularly that I was in the office having her pulled from class several times a week for forgotten homework/books, gym shorts/shoes/game gear for afternoon, snacks, menstrual supplies, tylenol, etc.  First, we had a talk. She makes great grades and the idea of getting any zeros hit home when I told her I would no longer bring her homework/books/or overdue library books, gym supplies.  So that stopped.  I will not bring her lunch or money--being hungry a couple times for the whole school day was enough and she makes her lunch the night before, including drink and snack for practice/games after school.  The menstrual supplies I bring, but will make her work it off at home.  

There must be some consequence in order for your son to develop the habit of remembering what he needs to.  It will take time, but he'll get it.  If he's not emotionally attached to getting good grades, then charge him for it or make him work it off.  The charge you suggest is a little high, I'd lower it, because money talks with kids; it won't take much of giving up his own funds before he gets it.  The idea isn't just compensating you monetarily for the time and gas, but to teach him to remember (though he should understand that it has an affect on you and he needs to appreciate that).

Answer 14

That's a great idea, and he will definately be learning an important lesson that he will carry with him through his life - you can't expect something for nothing. Go for it.

Answer 15

Wow, I wish I had thought of this!!!!  You are a brilliant mom.  The next time my daughter forgets her lacrosse stick or her English homework, I will deliver it to her with a bill.   You rock, Mommy!

Answer 16

not too harsh but I think he is a little too young to fully understand the value of a dollar......I think taking away something he enjoys like TV or Video games, but be stern and dont back down.

Answer 17

yeah I say charge him but also give him  another consequence, if he has the money it might not be a big deal. but if you take away video games or TV for a week he'll get the picture

Answer 18

I think it's an excellent idea and a great lesson for him. Certainly not too harsh.

Answer 19

Yes. And come to think of it.. Charge him if you have to go back say... a third time to wake him in the morning.

Answer 20

On the one hand I think I probably would not have brought him his homework.  The problem is he might not care about that or his grades.

I think maybe asking the teacher to assign him an extra assignment or coming up with one yourself might be more meaningful as it is closer to the "crime" committed.

I don't think it would be too harsh to charge him, though.  When he is an adult, a lot of his mistakes will come with monetary prices.

Answer 21

I don't think you should "charge" him. I think it should be partly your responsibility to check with him either the night before or in the morning to make sure he has everything he needs for the day. My daughter has the same problem, but since I started checking, she hasn't forgot it anymore, and teaches him to check for his things before he leaves the house. I think he should know at 11 a little responsibility and not to forget, but I am 28 and I still forget a lot of things.

Answer 22

I think that by bringin his homework every time he forgetts you are not giving him the opportunity for him to be responsible.  When and if he forgets his homework he will realize how important it is to prepare for school and making sure he has everything before he is off to school.  My son used to do that when he was just in first and second grade.  I would never go back to the house and get it for him.  I would have a talk with him and tell him how he can prepare for school without forgetting anything.  He used to take about 2 to 3 minutes by the door to think of anything that he may forgett.  This tactics really worked for him.  My son is not 14 years old and is very responsible with his work, he is always prepared with everything he needs for school.  I'm not saying he is a little perfect soldier., no. He has forgotten his ID at home, but he does carry a Key so he goes back and get it him self.  

I really would not worry so much since its not like its every day, You have to rembember that children do stress just like adults so why make it harder for them.  Love your children and help them with anything they need.  Just make sure that your talk to your children with any concerns that they may have, so that they know that you will always be there.

Good luck with your 11 year old.

Good luck with your son.

Answer 23

Thats soooo rude!! your a mother and your going to make you SON PAY YOU???? Get over yourself and don't bring him him schoolwork and take away what he enjoys doing. Ever heard of a smack on the butt with a belt??

Answer 24

It's appropriate to be thinking he should have a consequence for forgetting his homework....  Handing over his money might be to easy of a solution, though, and teaching him that he can just pay monetarily for his "oops".  By making him do extra chores to repay you, or taking away his valued currency, or both, might be a better way at making him remember next time...  Earning $2-$3 dollars an hour cleaning the yard, and then having to get his homework done, might show him the value of both your time.  Remember though, he is still young, and 4 times in one year isn't actually all that bad.  It could be once a week.

Answer 25

I would charge him what it would cost for a taxi to go pick it up and drop it off. My dad did this for me, I got the point.

Another thing too is all the money he 'spends' on forgetting things pur in a jar somewhere (work is a good place because he won't find it) and save it for later. One day he'll need a car to go get the homework he's forgetten and if he's as bad as me he'll have nough for a down payment. Dad started when I was in grade 6 and By the time grade 11 rolled around (when I got my license) I had over 1600 in there. Dad matched it and I had 3200 for a car/insurance. I endded up contributing another 800 and got a pretty decent lease.

Answer 26

No, I would not charge him.  I would not deliver his homework to him, either.  The consequences need to fit the problem.  Since the problem is forgotten homework, the consequence would be a bad grade.  Let this be between your son and his teacher.