Should I charge my mother for gas?

Question

She lives with her husband but before that she lived temporarily overseas completing a cosmetology degree. I consider myself a good son. I used to send her an allowance for 2 years. I've recently taken her along with my family on a family vacation and always cover her expenses when we're out. She is partially handicapped and yet managed to land a job as a hair stylist.

She is not making much $ right now as she just started & has few clients but she has asked me to take her to work 5 times a week (@ 20 mi. per roundtrip which equals 1 gallon gas).

I explained to her last night that I have no problem driving her to work but I explained to her that I will definitely need her to pitch in for gas which should be approx. $4 per ride to work. I explained to her that I have a budget of $50 a week for gas which barely covers my 40 mile daily commute and 80 mile weekend allowance.

She didnt take it too well as she said 'don't bother me now, let's talk later about it'....

Answer 1

Well you didn't say anything about your income was or make any mention of your relationship with your mom.  What is your ability to cut back in comparison to hers?  Is she doing the best she can in terms of job and managing her monies.  What would she have to cut back on in order to help you with gas?  What would you have to cut back on in order to cover her gas?  In my case, I think I'd be pretty remiss if I charged my mom when I consider how much she and my father have done for me in the way of sacrifice and support.  My parents always placed our needs ahead of their wants to I look at these questions from that perspective.

Answer 2

she really does need to pitch in for gas. its the LEAST she could do.

Answer 3

depends how you brought up the topic with her. Talk to her again LATER, exactly how she requested because obviously she wasnt ready to talk about it at the moment. Catch her on a good mood. I think it would be customary for mother, father, sister, whatever family member to at LEAST pitch in for SOMETHING, take you out to dinner or something.

But, you also are kind of at fault too.... you set the norm as "always being the guy to pay for everything" maybe you should start saying "lets split the check" or something like that. Because you always wanted to pay, now your mom thinks that you have no problem paying for everything.

Answer 4

NO.

Answer 5

Your mom absolutely should help pay for gas and appreciate what you have done for her in the past.You have been supportive to her and now she needs to stand up to the plate and pay her way.

Answer 6

No, I don't think you should.  You should mention it once, to make sure she is aware of the situation.   You have done that already.  Now the ball is in her court.  If she doesn't offer, let it go.  These things tear families apart, even the closest ones.

Answer 7

Maybe a good time to bring it back up would be to get gas while you are driving her to or from work.  When you leave together leave ten or fifteen minutes early and tell her it's because you need to get gas.  Before you get out to pay ask for $20 dollars to help.

If she balks again ask her "When would be a good time to talk about it?  This is a pressing problem for me.  I am running out of money."

Be sure to be polite the whole time, don't alienate her or hurt her feelings with impatience.

Answer 8

Tell madre or mum to take a hike.

She is using you.

Answer 9

she needs to get off her big butt and find her own way to get to work. dont drive her.

Answer 10

u r a really good son. its not that shes using you at all lyke the 1st guy sed. its that she spent years takin care of you and now she needs u to help her out in difficult times. the fact that shes handicapped makes it harder on her. when she starts getting more clients she will probably stop asking you for help so much.

   i think she should defnitely chip in at least a little. after all you arent exactly rich and she shouldnt expect you to do everything. you need to make it clear that u jus dont hav the $ to be doing this w/o help, but at the same time you need to make it realllly clear that u wanna help her out and that u r grateful 4 all shes done and u'll continue 2 help her out. dont raise ur voice even if she does cuz this is probably a rlly sensitive topic 4 her an she prbly will get mad.

Answer 11

ouch, as I was reading the question I was starting to think, wow! this guy is ungrateful, then I saw what your mom said. "don't bother me now!you are BOTHERING her by discussing finances when gas prices are as high as they are. I would think she would be glad that you seem to be a responsible guy who takes seriously the finances of life.I know this next comment is politically incorrect,  but you may get some who will say to you,"she is your mother, therefore you owe her. I think this is c**p. Your mom had you because she wanted a child, not an investment. Now she is using a product/service and that costs money, I doubt you are going to overcharge her but where else is she going to get door to door service at that price?