Should I come out at all?

Question

My mom is homosexual. I live with her and her girlfriend. Nobody but my best friend knows and I felt so good when I told her. I live in a bad community for this, and school just started. I wouldn't want to start off on a bad note for everyone else and get treated differently. My dad is a little unaccepting of the lifestyle. I'm going to go to a new school where there are more people. It's probably a more accepting community because it is near a fort. There are many of the minorities (I don't want to sound racist, and I don't mean it that way.) and variety, as compared to my current school where there are two African-Americans (and they have one white predecessor) in my entire K-12 school.

How do I bring this up to anybody? Do I just go "Hey world, I'm g*y."? Should I even bring this up? I've thought I was homosexual for a few years and am thirteen years old now and am sure.

I don't like any of the girls in my school as anything more than a friend, and the guys are idiots except for a few but feel more drawn to them physically than to the girls. I feel emotionally connected to women, but I have grown up with women all my life and see them either as a mother figure or a friend.

If I see an ad for a guy in underwear in a magazine I feel a sensation (and no the sensation is not repulsion it's a sensation a little lower below my head or waist for that matter---please don't report me), but I see a bra commercial and I just think the women should get some clothes on, they look like hookers or something.

Some guy says that one girls hot or something and I think, "Sure, why not?" but if my friend says a guy's hot I think, "You know what? He is."

I put on a façade for my friends and classmates. I feel so stressed every time I do.

Any input you have would be much appreciated. I know I've rambled on so I will paraphrase.

Should I come out?

Should I talk to my mom and her partner?

Should I come out to everyone at once?

Should I make a big shin-dig if it comes up?

Will it be hard with everyone if I come out?

Should I wait to come out?

Thank you to everyone who made it here in reading this. Thank you very much.

Answer 1

u should come out to ur mom because she understands because she likes people her same gender too! im g*y too and i only told my best friend... im aslo 13 and in 7th grade. i always liked guys ever scence i was like 7. soon once i got older i understood what it ment and started looking at men diffrentley. Then after a while i started masterbating to thoughts of naked guys and then i knew. Now i just accept it and plan on coming out very soon.. you should too :)

Answer 2

When I was sixteen, I came out to my friends (the ones who didn't know had pretty much already guessed) and family.  My mother thought it was a phase I was going through, and my father called me "sick".  I'm now forty-six, it wasn't just a phase, and I haven't spoken to my father in thirteen years.  

My own grandmother was the person who urged me to come out, and I'm glad I did it then.  It won't be hard with everyone when you tell them, but your parents and some family members may have difficulties adjusting to it.  My brother knew about me when I was eleven, but he's a couple years younger, and we shared a bedroom.  He's straight, and had a granddaughter born in December.  

Yes, you should definitely come out to your friends and family, now if not sooner.  Ask your mom and her partner about your dad, I wouldn't presume to know.  After you finish high school you'll be glad that you told everybody when you were younger.

  

Answer 3

i think you should come out to your mother and her partner. after all, you can be certain they'll accept you for your preferences n_n

Answer 4

if i were you i would leave it alone. i wouldnt tell any not me personaly ,but alot of people hate g**s.and if the wrong person knows then you can have a possibility of getting your *** kicked or worse i have seen it happen. so i wouldnt i know you dont want to be ashamed but i would just not go bragging on it. cuz people are very cruel ,and alot of people are not accepting of it.  

Answer 5

You should come out. If anyone gives you c**p about being who you are **** them!

Answer 6

Well I suppose it wouldn't be the hardest thing in the world to come out to your mother since she's a L*****n herself. Are you afraid that she'll tell you dad or something?

If I were you I would come out to your school friends only if necessary like if they ask or something or you new advise on a g*y crush. Some people might have a hard time with you being g*y but thats life.

Well you can wait if your scared or something but I came out cause I felt like I had to cause people just kept asking me galore and I had a "girlfriend" (long story..... but anyways) and totally knew I was g*y and liveing the lie that I was straight and only acted girly cuase I'm the only boy in my family.

Wow you seem mature for your age, already thinking like this. When I was 13 y/o I still thought like an 8 year old or something. I liked boys subcontiously and knew that g*y meant boys likeing boys but I wasnt mature enough to get the big idea and put 2 and 2 together. Yeah I know I'm all stupid and immature.  

Answer 7

well you said that your moms g*y so there should be no probelm coming out to her

Answer 8

Dude it sounds like a slippery slope. If you think you are strong enough to face the consequences of advertising you're sexuality under those conditions than go for it and be the best d**n homo you can be! But, you have to be careful, g**s are victimized by hate-crime everyday and you have to be prepared to stand up for yourself and fight back, even if it means being suspended or getting arrested.  

Answer 9

When you feel comfortable, come out to your mom and her girlfriend.  Not only will they be accepting of you, but they will know EXACTLY how you feel and they can share their "coming out stories" with you too!  

As far as your dad is concerned, tell him if you feel comfortable.  Lots of people who are "unaccepting" of the lifestyle change their minds when it's their child (just ask my dad!!!)

As far as broadcasting it to the world, only do it if you feel comfortable.  It's your decision 100% and you can decide who you want to tell and when you want to tell them.  

The best of luck to you -- I feel your pain!

Answer 10

Come out when you feel comfortable.

If you feel better talking to your mom and her partner then go for it.

Coming  out to everyone at once may be a little too much. Just tell your friends at your new place when you feel comfortable.

When someone ask you about a girl and you haven't come out to tell, just play along. If you are asked about a guy and you haven't come out to tell, just say like why would you ask that or just walk away. I have had to do that at work a lot.  

Answer 11

maybe you should come out to your parents first it seems it would be easier since your mom is a L*****n then later on when you feel comfortable come out to your close friends at school

Answer 12

You might want to wait a few years to come out. When I was thirteen I KNEW I was a L*****n. Now I know that I just wasn't interested in boys at that time.

Not to sound like you "need to get fixed" or anything, but you might want to try looking at girls differently just to make sure you don't like 'em.