Should I confront my brother?

Question

Many years ago when my nephew was 14, he ran away. We are about the same age and grew up together. We were more like siblings. This was very devastating to me. Our family did not know his whereabouts for about 15 years. Recently after searching, worrying, and wondering for many years, I found him. We have since met several times, he has been to my home and we talk often on the phone. In one of our recent conversations, I asked him why he left, what was so horrible in his life that he felt he had to run away. He confided in me that throughout his childhood, he was repeatedly raped and molested by my brother, which is his uncle. This brother is much older than us, a drunk and a bum and quite frankly has always given me the creeps. So I don't doubt it one bit. He has no reason to say this other than it happened. Now I find myself hating my brother for what he did! I want to confront him and let him know along with the rest of my family what a piece of c**p he really is! My nephew lives now 1000 miles away and has very little contact with the rest of the family. I just feel like this piece of c**p should be shown for what he really is. The statute of limitations has passed so its too late to file charges.

Answer 1

i would tell the family just so that nobody trust him with their children.

Answer 2

i am genuinely sorry you and your nephew had to deal with this situation.  although ive never been in a similar situation, im sure it took a lot of strength to endure.

the 1st thing that came to mind was to suggest pressuing charges, but as you said, too much time has passed to do so.

however, i dont think you should expose your brother and his past to the family right away.  i think it'd be better to confront him first.  if you havent talked to him in a while, its possible he has cleaned up his act and is leading a respectable life.  that, of course, is no excuse for what happened, but perhaps he would be able to admit to his mistakes.  

if he IS clean perhaps you could suggest he make a donation to a local charity in your nephew's name.  it probably wont make your nephew forgive him, but i think that gesture would at least show him that your brother feels some remorse for his actions.  then tell him that youre going to reveal what happened to the family [so little kids arent left alone with him].

if your brother is still into his old ways, you should definitely tell the family about the situation, so long as your nephew is comfottable with it.  maybe then your brother can get the help he so obviously needs.

if you have any other questions or need more advice, feel free to email or im me.  im sure this s a stressful situation and i hope to help in any way i can.   [e-mail][email]  OR  sheree_tamaklo [messenger]

Answer 3

The past is the past and it is for a reason. The damage has been done. Why hurt your bro more if hes a drunk a** rapist. He got his punishment...KARMA did its job.

Answer 4

Confronting your brother would do nothing except give him a chance to make excuses. Don't waste your time.

However, once a pedophile, always a pedophile. Make sure that any family members with children are made aware of his sickness so that the children can be protected. No child should ever be left alone with him for even a short period of time (five minutes is long enough for molestation to occur). And any member of the family under eighteen is a child!