Should I confront my sister in law or just avoid her as much as possible?

Question

She has been saying mean things about me behind my back. She called my mom and told her a bunch of lies. She also said rude things about my daughter. When I was at her house last week her Friends were there. She asked me what time my daughter went to bed. When I answered she looked over at her friend and they whispered something to each other for a couple of minutes then she looked back at me and then gave me a BIG SMILE. Its obvious that she was talking about me then. Should I confront her or just stay away from her as much as possible? By the way she has done other things this is just part of it. If she has something to say I would rather she just tell me instead of whispering in front of me or calling my own mother on the phone or anyone in the family and spreading rumors. I think she told my mom cause she knew it would get back to me.

Answer 1

talk to your husband about it. see if he can do anything about it, and if he cant, then yes, definetly confront her about it. is you dont then she will continue.

my sister in law was mean to me for no reason. and i always felt distant towards her and i hated her for the names she called me. then a couple of months ago, after some years, i talked to her about it and she said she was sorry and that she didnt mean it in a mean way, she just thought it was normal in the family since we all call eachother these words. but it just felt different coming from her, so thats why i hated her until i talked to her about it. and now, we are like the bestest friends. we couldnt be even more close to eachother than we already are. =)

so just talk to your husband about it or just go straight up to your sister in law and ask her about it or tell her whats what. who knows, maybe after all of this, you guys will become really close like mine. =) goodluck

Answer 2

You better confront her. Ask her what her problem is. And then Kick her teeth out.  My uncles married some rude Ho's and I seen the broad making a face when I walked in the house and I beat that buffy down in front of the whole family.  She never tried to act holier than thou ever again.  

Answer 3

confront her now, and tell her husband, i believe her husband would be your brother right? tell everybody, prove to people that she is saying things about you, and if your mom really loves you she'll believe you over your sister in law, and you tell her everything and tell her the situation you told us, about going to your sister in law's house with her friends talking about you, also until you confront her, don't talk to her, confront her and i hope that she gets a taste of her own medicine, get proof, that's a must!!

Answer 4

IF you get up enough nerve to confront her, make sure you do so in front of as many other members of the family as possible.  If you do not have witnesses, she WILL turn it against you.  

Ask her what exactly you have personally done to her to create such treatment to you.  Then make sure you have as many examples as possible.  Write them down if you need to.  Then, tell her that you would appreciate her being adult enough to come to you if she has a problem and to never go behind your back and try to stir up problems.   Then, tell everyone else who listens to her to do the same.  She is not the only one playing games, they all are.  Your mother should of told her to buzz off instead of listening to her at all.      

Answer 5

Yes confront her. If you don't it will only continue.

Answer 6

you definitely need to confront her and also let your brother know whats going on... but i would advise you to choose your words carefully because she is his wife.. Another person you need to confront is your mom. You are her daughter she should be defending you and should of set your sister in law straight from the get go. If you don't do this soon...it'll continue and get worse.

Answer 7

This is a hard one I think because when it's family and can affect more then just the family member you are dealing with...as her lies have spread through the family your confronting her can spread through the family.  If she is as manipulative as she sounds I think she would probably find a way to turn the conversation that you have with her to make you look like that bad guy.  But I don't think you should let her walk all over you.  If she ever gets ballsy enough to say what shes got to say in front of you obviously defend yourself.  Do it in a manner that won't make you look like a raving idiot.  I kind of think that maybe you should address the this with your husband and see if maybe he won't help you find a way to handle this as it is his sister.  If need be just stay away from her.  If you don't go near her then she is going to run out of "true" things to say about you with the exception of you being a snob for never coming around.  If she isn't involved in your life and she still spreads lies then you can say hey look she hasn't been there, she hasn't seen it, she wasn't apart of it.

It may still not make it better, but maybe you can have some peace of mind.