Should I confront this person? If so how?

Question

A couple of years ago my husbands best friend went nuts and ran around on his wife with multiple women. He would call my husband ask tell him what great fun he was having and try to get my husband to join him in bars ect. Every time he called my hubby I was with my husband. He would tell his friend over and over that he didn't want any part of it. Then one night his friends dad, wife, and mom was calling here wanting to know where my husbands friend was. They assumed that my husband would know. Well, my h8usband was trying to get a hold of him and could not. What ended up happening was that my husbands friend was in a sleazy hotel with a prostitute and the cops had found my husbands friend's truck behind the hotel and had called the family because the friend's dad used to be a cop. The hotel was know to house prostitutes. I was in shock! I felt really bad for the friend's wife. Recently we started to hang out after another affair her husband had on her. We were talking and this hotel came up. Before I knew it I said something about the dad knowing. Well, she was lied to and I did not know that, and she knew what I meant. That there was a girl involved with her husband. I felt horrible for letting that slip. I feel that she didn't need to know that after two years and I felt that I told something I should not have. i asked her to please not say anything. She promised that she would not. Well she lied about how it was told and when it was told by me. We talked about it several times and I told her how bad I felt for bringing it up. Several times she told me not to worry that she would not say anything. We had talked about deep stuff on occasion. Stuff that we would not want told. Anyway, I feel that she has stabbed me in the back and I am angry! Come to find out she tells everything she knows even stuff her husband tells her not to tell. I will have to her at times because our children go to the same school and my husband has a business with her husband. Part of me wants to tell her off and the other part wants to do the rite thing! Any words of wisdom? Dang! This sounds like high school stuff. Another reason it pisses me off! oh yeah... this is not the first time she has stabbed me in the back. All the more I want to confront her!

Answer 1

First off, stop telling her stuff if you don't want it being told to other people. You said this isn't the first time she's stabbed you in the back, so you need to learn from this and change your behavior, because she is obviously not trustworthy.

Second, I don't think you should confront her unless you have proof that she told people. Even then, she will probably just deny it. Quit telling her things and if she asks you why you no longer tell her stuff you can tell her it's because you don't want your business in the street!

Try to take the high road on this one, your friend sounds like she has a lot on her plate. That doesn't excuse her behavior but may explain why she's making some poor choices. Good Luck!