Question:

Should I contest the divorce?

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here is the setup for the situation, my wife and I lived on her parents property in a small trailer, we had purchased land and had plans on building a new house, but i lost my business and had to get a new job and we couldn't afford to build, so one year passes, and on nov 04' on the same day as my wife's father told her mother that he is leaving her and moving in with another woman, I found out that my mother had terminal cancer, both of us went off to take care of our mother's.

My mother passed in Dec 04, my wife and I fought about whether or not to buy my mother's house, we had a ton of bills and car payments, and I had a deal too good to pass up, I got a house at less than half price, and was able to take out some extra to pay off all of our bills and our cars. The mortgage broker put the house in just my name cause they said it would be easier. That ticked my wife off even though i told her i could add her to the title. I was a jerk and tried to pull a ultimatum, move in with me or else, me and her fought a great deal, but eventually came to a agreement, I would live in the house and fix it up, while she would stay at her mom's to help her through this time, ( the houses are within walking distance to each other) over a year passed and she became more and more distant, then in 06 she tells me that she wants a divorce, I told her that I didn't want a divorce and I think we should try to go to counseling, she went to the church counseling twice and then quit going, and stuck to her guns that she wants a divorce, she has been treating me pretty crappy for two years now, the last time we had sexual relations was last December and again in June, on Monday she filed for divorce stating that we have been separated since Dec 04 with no sexual relations, (it matters in the state I'm in, have to have no sexual relations for one year). I want to keep my marriage together, and raise our son, but in the last year of this she has been acting more secretively, and has gotten to the point where she wont even have her cell phone around me...... so half of me think that she is just emotionally disturbed, and we can work things out with some help of counseling if she would just open up to it. The other half of me thinks that she is cheating, and just running away, the two houses are only a half mile apart, She has agreed to joint custody of our son, and wants no child support or alimony, she just wants the marriage over.(and she also agreed to take responsibility to the 13k in credit card bills she raked up in the last 2yrs since i paid off her 10k worth of bills, and her 16k new car when i bought the house), I believe in marriage, but I just cant think of any good reason to contest the divorce she wants. P.S., her parents still haven't gotten a divorce even though her dad has been living with another woman for over three years now.,

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  1. I really hate to say it but, it does sound as though she has made up her mind 100% and nothing you offer to do such as seeing a counselor is what she i looking for. It sounds as if she may be seeing someone else and therefore will never see that counselor . If she wanted to save your marriage she would agree to do anything and everything to try and save it.

    My husband and I have been married for over 40 years now, and we have gone through some really tough times and didn't communicate. I finally got to the point that I screamed at him about how we never talk and that if this continued we were going to end up divorced and that if he still loved me he would change to save the marriage.He did and our marriage has been stronger for it.

    Had she really wanted to save your marriage she would have moved into the house with you instead of staying at her moms all this time since the homes are so close there wouldn't have been a good reason for to stay there once you bought the house.Also to use the excuse that she was mad about the house being in your name only , it can't be if there is acommunity property law in your state, but....the mortage can be in only one name if that is what made it easier to get it.Our mortgage has always been in my husbands name but the property is and always has been in both of our names due to the laws.

    The house situation is only an excuse to get out of the marriage. Ask her if she still loves you the way she did when he two of you got married and ask her to tell you the truth no ifs ands or buts.If she says no then youhave your real answer to it all.If she says she no longer fels that way about you then  I would have to say , it is all over and it's time to get that dicorce and get on with your life once and for all. You may still love her but she may no longer love you.


  2. Let her go and find a women tat loves you honey. She certainly does not anymore. I am sorry about that but i am sure that there is a girl out there you will treat you right and love you.  

  3. Take it...don't contest...sounds like a deal. She don't want you know more and is letting you off the hook with joint custody and no support. Most women use kids to be vendictive...I must give her credit for not doing that.....

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