Should I continue to drop off my 6 year old or walk him to his classroom?

Question

When kindergarten began, I parked my car at school and walked my son to his class for a month. Next 2 months I drove to the 'drop off circle' in front and he would get out, wave and go in; After that there was a boy in his class who was not being nice to my son and this caused major anxiety for him, tears before school, didn't want to go to school, etc. That’s been resolved with the help of the teacher, school counselor and the boys play fine now. But during this time, during those tearful mornings I began parking and walking him to his class again, to ease some of his stress. Now, he only wants me to walk him in and not drop off. If I do drop off it either ends in him crying or him walking in slow and sad. I am struggling with this because he was building independence from me for a couple of months and now it seems he’s regressed. If I go back to walking him in am I supporting this regression –not helping him grow or am I supporting my son’s needs and emotions by being there for him?

Answer 1

Personally I would continue dropping him off. He will eventually be ok with it. He's gotta get some indepence.

Answer 2

Walk him in, and next year start by dropping him off.

Answer 3

I walked my son every day to class in Kindergarten - it was the rule of the school and something I feel is important. I think that K is way to young to just be dropping him off outside of school and  saying "so long sucker" so to speak. He's too young for you to be trying to instill independence. Rather it is his first year in school, and this is a time which you should be reassuring him school is a place he wants to be. You want him to feel confident and comfortable walking into school rather than nervous and anxious so that he can build a strong foundation to like school!

Listen to your child, he is asking you for help and he is still a little guy. Soon enough he won't want you anywhere near the school! Take advantage of him still wanting you around!

Answer 4

I'd say if he's not having issues once you get him to the classroom it's not hurting anything to go ahead and do it.  6 is still pretty young, and he may just like being around you.  Trust me, he will grow out of this VERY quickly, and he's probably just having a tough time because he was already hurt once.  Just keep being supportive of him, and he will eventually decide he's too old for you to be walking him in any more.  The school year will be over in a couple of months anyway, and when he goes back, the routine will be different.  After a couple months of break for summer, he may just go in on his own anyway.  Give him this time--it will send him the message that you love him no matter what, and that you're there for him.  It will allow him to be more confident when he IS ready to go out on his own again.  I don't think you're hurting his development in any way as long as you're still encouraging his independance in other areas (tying his own shoes, getting himself dressed, doing his homework, etc).  What the schools seem to be forgetting is that every child is an individual with individual needs.  If it's not causing issues at school (crying when you leave, etc) and helps him get through his day, I would say there's absolutely nothing to worry about.  My kindergartener can't decide whether he wants us to walk him in or not--some days he wants to go on his own, and some he wants us to walk in with him, look at his locker, etc.    He may just want to be including you for a few more minutes of his day, and that's nothing to worry about.

Answer 5

I work in a kindergarten school.  My advice to you is to start weaning him away from the idea that you are going to walk him to  class each day.  Walk him to class on day one, then day 2 only to the hallway leading to his class then just the door, then just partway to the door and so on.  This will make him stronger and more independent.

Answer 6

Wanting to spend time with someone he loves isn't regression or dependence.  It's simply human.  

There will come a time when, naturally, on his own, he walks away from you, ducks from your hugs, pretends he doesn't know you.  Or, maybe it won't.  Maybe he'll grow up strong, with the ability to both be loving *and* independent.  

Watch him for signs of readiness.  Help guide him & encourage him whenever he is ready to take a few steps out on his own.  But, don't push him away, when he's wanting to be close.  Would you want someone you love to do that to you?

Answer 7

Drop him off mom.  It's time to meet your son's needs by forcing him to confront the issues he needs to confront.

Good luck!

Answer 8

He is only 6.  Just walk him in.  When is summer break for you?  Ours is in only 3 months.  I'd walk mine in for the rest of the year and give him a new start next school year.

Answer 9

Go ahead and walk him in until one of his classmates says, "Your MOM walks you in....euuuuuu!"

He'll let you know that is soooo over.

Answer 10

Drop him off.  As hard as it is to see him walk sad and slow he needs to be confident in himself.  Right now he thinks he needs you but he will be so pleased with himself once he doesn't need to use you as a crutch.  I understand what you are going through..I am a mother of three...5,7, and 9.  I have been there, too.  Let me be sad...it will be okay...he needs to know he can depend on himself.

Answer 11

I believe you should continue to walk him to class until summer break. After the break, you can start fresh by dropping him off.

Answer 12

My daughter is in Kindergarten this year too and she does not like to be dropped off.  She likes to be walked in, and honestly, I don't mind.  I like to know that she got to where she is supposed to be in the mornings.

Answer 13

Even though there are so many opinions before mine, I'm still putting my two cents in!  I say, yeah, keep walking him in for now.  It's kindergarten.  Show him you love him--after all, who's going to support him more than his own mom?  If he needs you, be there for that little boy.  All too soon he'll have grown to that embarrassed stage and you'll look back and long for these times again.  And you sure can't go back!  Love on him all you can now and try the drop off circle once more when first grade starts in the fall.

Answer 14

My son is 6 and in 1st grade and he is dropped off. He thinks he is a big boy!

Answer 15

He'll let you know when he no longer needs you

for now, let him be a little boy

Answer 16

Not sure if you take him inside too or just walk him to his line and stay. I would just back off slowly. I would come up with reason why I could go all the way in. If you are walking inside one day say I am running late but I can walk you in half way or if you are staying outside in line say I have some things to do and I can only stay 5 minutes. Or if you have to stand right next to him in line gradually stand away from him and let him talk to his friends. Gradually wein him off from you. Maybe you  could also praise him. I really like how you were standing in line today. Ask him about his friend he is talking to in line? There are lots of ways to incourage your kids. I have a 9 year old. In preschool I was the Mom outside the room sitting down reading a book. Gradually I would stay less and less. She would look for me. I would tell her and the teachers how long I would be staying. Stick to my word. You know when the time is right for you to leave. My daughter is very emotional. My older daughter could care less.She is very independent. You wouldn't want to just up and leave him. Sometimes that can make kids insecure. Try talking to him about what he doesn't like about standing in lane. You could make a good and bad list. Talk about the good and understand the bad. help him to overcome the bad. That will help with problem solving when he gets older.

It is hard but he is 6. It will come in time. Give what he needs. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to and they cry and have to get over it but sometimes tuff love doesn't work. it can do more damage than good. It all depends on the situation.

Answer 17

why not encourage and support independence?  you can still walk him in if he needs you, but talk to him and build his self-confidence so he'll want to make you proud, and he can have his own sense of pride as a goal to work on.  make a fuss over the steps he takes in the direction you want him to go - talk about it before you get to school - reassure him you'll watch him until he gets inside etc.  make it a rewarding process, not cold turkey :]

Answer 18

walk him in hes only 6,and if it gets him into school happy and without tears whats the harm,my son is 6 and i walk him in every morning,even though as we live in UK hes been attending school since thee term after his 4th birthday over here its the norm and we are expected to walk them into class ,when he was younger id walk him into his classroom now i leave him outside the door it will not regress your son in any way if you walk him to his classroom and you will probably find if you don't make a big deal about it he will ask before to long to be just dropped off like his friends.

Answer 19

I know it's tough seeing your own child so sad.  I think you should continue to let him walk-in on his own.  Isn't that what they call tough love?  

My son is 11 now, I have had to show him tough love many times...  

Good luck in your decision!