Should I discourage my son from volunteering at the childrens cancer hospital?

Question

He plays the piano for the children, but occasionally my son seems depressed afterwards, even got teary eyed once. I asked him if he gets enjoyment in volunteering. He said it's awful and there's really nothing he can really do to help the children. Many are in pain, several will die, and a couple may not make it thru the night. Plus, he said some have been abandoned by their parents.

Answer 1

This experience is hard for him but that is why they call it character building.  

He needs to realize that parents do abandon children, some children don't make it, and he is lucky to have the talents and life that he has.

If you pull him out of this, then you are only trying to protect him from what he really needs to know about as a young adult.  

I would be more worried if he seemed unaffected by the experience.  Take peace in knowing that you're raising a very compassionate human being and he is learning that sometimes you just have to do what you can and that is all you can do.

Answer 2

NO! he needs to feel like he is doing something, he wants to feel good, help people, and feel good. Where is the bad?

Answer 3

Why would you stop him doing such a thing, I would be proud and encourage him.  That boy has got his head screwed on the right way, very few teenagers have compassion and drive I would nurture that.

Answer 4

This is often the burden of being compassionate.

Sure, he sees others in pain and suffering, but when he gets around to it, he will realize how lucky he is to have a caring parent like you, and how wonderful it is to be healthy and normal.

Being able to share his music with the children is a gift not only to the cancer patients, but to himself as well.  He will learn that what joy he brings these poor kids is "one more" thing he can do to help them feel less bleak.

Don't push him one way or another.  He will know when he wants to stop, or if he wants to pursue it even more.

Bless that child.

Answer 5

You're his mother. How old is he? How strong psychologically? Is he pushing himself too hard or does he need to face the unfairness of the world? Is there depression in his life or in your family?

Ask him if the misery he gets is worth what he thinks he's giving to the kids. Listen closely. At the end of your talk if you think it's warranted, ask, "Do you need me to tell you not to go back?"