Should I divorce my husband....due to he cant let go of his past relationship with his ex girlfriend?

Question

My husband and I have been married for three years, we keep having big arguments over his relationship with his ex. In conversation he always ends up talking about something that she experienced or something they experienced together. He allows her to call when she wants and if i am around he will say he will call back. Should I trust my instincts and just realize he cant let go of this past relationship and move on. In the past he says that she means nothing and she just calls him he does not call her, is'nt just as bad u accept the calls and have conversation with her.

Answer 1

If he can't let go of his ex girlfriend then I think you should divorce him. It seems pretty clear he still loves her and I think you should move on.  

Answer 2

As long as you tolerate this kind of behavior it will continue.  Your just letting him have his cake and eat it too.

Answer 3

I'd first recommend going to marriage counseling before even thinking about divorce.  Be sure and tell him how much this ex-relationship is hurting your marriage and that it has to end or you will divorce him.

Answer 4

do they have children together if they do they can talk but not all the time if they don't you need to leave they should be together if they are not doing it already  

Answer 5

Yeah, I would get out of that marriage. Don't be mad at him and put all the blame on him though, just accept it and find you a man that adores you.

Answer 6

He could always change is telephone number.  If he cannot do that then he can screen his calls and not talk to her.  He should be only into you and talking about the memories you two have done together.  He needs to let go or you should separate for awhile because she could be weaseling her way back into his life.  I wouldn't put up with it.

Answer 7

Baggage like that is hard to get rid of.

You need to talk it through and let him know exactly how you feel.

Everyone will think about their ex's.....I've been married for 3 years too, and I still think about mine. And have dreams about them too. It's normal.

It's not fair to YOU that he's not over her completely, but it's not fair to him that you come on here to get suggestions on your marriage.

Answer 8

I'd ask him to stop talking to her and trust my instincts.  If he didn't stop I would end the relationship.

Answer 9

well you should try to work it out. Check his call log to see if he has called her. and talk to him and tell him that you feel uncomfortable with him talking about this girl all the time.

Answer 10

Start calling up an ex bf or make one up.  See how he feels about that.  Perhaps it will open his eyes to what is wrong with his behavior.  If he can't let go, then you need to move on.  This is causing you a lot of stress.  

Answer 11

If you have children together no. If there are no kids then you might want to consider the marriage a mistake (you both made) and discuss dissolving  it.  

Answer 12

all americans are like that.  don't like what you got?  geta  new one!

sure, support the economy.  divorce him and spend another 20k on your new wedding

Answer 13

if you married him then he should only love you.

divorce.

Answer 14

Confused, you already have your answer...i wont say divorce but maybe a seperation? Do that...get some distance from him. it will do you good! and will show him how his life would be without you!

Answer 15

You can not have a future, if you do not let go of your past.

Answer 16

ok if he was my husband I would divorce him and it looks like your leaning towards that decision also because you are his wife now and it looks like he just cant accept that and move on so yes .

Answer 17

i'm not even sure if it is him that can't let go to the past. it sounds more like it's her that can't let go and it's just dragging your husband back into it, time and time again. i'd suggest that he goes into counseling. see why exactly he allows his ex to keep calling and dragging him back into the past. otherwise start changing all the phone numbers! :o)

Answer 18

I think you already know what you have to do. Don't waste your life being second to an ex girlfriend.

Answer 19

your married, your going to divorce because husband talks to another girl - but you have no information that leads you to believe anything inappropriate is going on?

You dont understand what a marriage is. Go ahead and divorce him - you arent old enough to be married.  

Answer 20

If you don't like sleeping with the proverbial three in the bed, then divorce him.  I wouldn't put up with it for a moment.  That's ridiculous.  

Answer 21

Why did you even marry him in the first place if this has been going on for 3 years?

Sounds to me like he is either cheating on you OR he cant let go. I think you should have a serious talk with him and tell him this HAS to stop or you WILL leave, and that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior. Tell him how it makes you feel and what you are speculating.

If that doesn;t work and you really love him then try a marriage counsler or maybe a seperation versus divorce.

I would truely make divorce the LAST option if it was me.  

Answer 22

You need to sit down and talk to your husband because this is totally disrespectful on so many levels. I am not sure if you knew this before hand and just hoped he would change or what but you need to make some decisions and quick. If he cares for his ex so much then why did he marry you and not her? Why do you stand by and let her call? I think that this has gone too far and if you dont get out soon you all will be in a happy marriage...together

Answer 23

Open  your eyes he is still into his ex stop being a doormat move on to someone better that will appreciate you.

Answer 24

If he loves you he should put your feelings first whether he thinks it's silly or not. If she's just a friend he would want to put your mind at ease and maybe either try to get the two of you together or be more open in front of you. I don't think you should throw your marriage away but explain to him how bad it makes you feel. I would say that the problem isn't the ex but his inconsideration of your feelings about it.

Answer 25

I believe it is completely inappropriate for a married man to have a relationship with his ex.  That is ridiculous that he still talks with her.  You need to let him know that you can't continue your marriage with him talking with her.  If he refuses I say leave him.  No good can come of him talking to an ex girlfriend.

Answer 26

Married men should not have have girl friends especially ex-girlfriends calling them.  If he doesn't respect your wishes on not talking to her then its a sign that he still has feelings for her.  Your his wife and should come first.  Dump him!

Answer 27

Hmmm sounds like you are being used as a rebound. But now you are married. Too late. Its up to him, but may be you need to separate life with him, give him a space to sort thing through. You do not have to get a divorce, but break up / separate with him, to get the relationship works better. I know this may sounds crazy, but some time break is healthy. Just make sure you two has agreement during the break up / separation period such as "do not see any one else, stay in touch once a week, " things like that.  

Answer 28

Before you jump and do something you might regret later, you need to sort the cons and pros out. I would hate it if I made a mistake to divorce the man I really love. Just talk to him about his ex, and tell him he better get his act straight and tell his ex to stop calling the house.  

Answer 29

divorce or marrige?

put the 2 options on a balance and judje.

warn him

let him know clearly that he has to choose her or you.

he might be having decision problems and doing that will bring him to reality. maybe he experienced something so deep with her that he is feeling like she has got a part of him with her...

put the situation i front of him and urge him to get decided.

make sure that if he decides to be with you, that you will be faithfull and reliable you too and i think everything will be ok

Answer 30

I'm a firm believer that, if kids are involved, they will be involved the rest of their lives!  IF they don't have kids together, then I'd be thinking, I wasn't the only woman in his life and you should be.

I'd probably leave, because I'm not a strong enough person to share my husband

Answer 31

You deserve a man who loves you and who wants to cherish wonderful memories with you.... not some other woman. It sounds like you've given it enough time, if nothing has changed by now it isn't going to. Find some one who wants to build a future with you, not live in the past.