Should I dock my sister's inheritance?

Question

My sister owes my parents a significant amount of money. They are not pursuing it right now as my sister has a family and does not have the money, but my mother told me she is leaving the family home to me in the will and that she wants me to split the proceeds with my sister MINUS the amount she owes them. She does not want to tell my sister about this plan because she does not want to create a fight right now. I don't want to go against my mother's dying wishes, but I feel bad being the one to dock my sister the money. What is the right thing to do?

Answer 1

What would be your mother's purpose of leaving the house minus your sisters debt to her? It's not like she can pay her back when she's dead anyway?

That sounds very odd. Death is final, forget about it.

Answer 2

Unless your parents spell this out in their will, according to the laws in most states, it will be split evenly.

Urge your mother to get her/their wishes in writing NOW.  It's not fair for her to put you in the position of "the enforcer".  It needs to be out of your hands to avoid an ugly and possibly costly legal battle with your sister after your parent's death.

Answer 3

I understand your Mother's wishes.  You sister has, in effect, already received part of her inheritance and your Mother does not wish to be unfair to you. For example if your parents had $100K to be divided between the two of you  and your sister borrowed $40K, would it be fair to split the remaining $60K so that you each get $30K?  Your sister would get a total of $70K and you would only get $30K.  That is the problem that your Mom is trying to address .I also understand that Mom does not want to start a family fight but Mom should also not leave you with a family WAR after she passes.  Mom (and Dad) should make a codicil to their wills which states the amount of your sister's debt and directing that the amount be subtracted from the total estate and given to you BEFORE the estate is divided.  In the above example Mom and Dad have $60K left, so you are given $40K immediately and the remaining $20K is divided between the two of you so that you each get $10K more.  That way you get $50K and your sister, who has already received $40K will get $10K more to equal her $50K share.

  Following your parents wishes is the right thing to do.  But ot will be much easier for you later if your parents make the codicil so that there wishes are known and have legal validity.

Answer 4

If it is under a will the court will read the will and determine how the assets are suppose to be transferred.  So word of mouth doesn't do much good.  Plus you have some gift taxes issues if she just leave it to you.  Your mother should buck up and not leave the pressure on you.  I see so many problems that parents cause because of poor estate planning.  Tell your mom to involve all of her kids in her wishes it will cause less fights down the road.  I would imagine the last thing your mother we antsafter her death is her kids to fight over money but if she doesn't take some rresponsibilitythe aattorneyswill have it all because of legal fights between the kids

Answer 5

its a very tough call but i would tell u to have your parents tell her the news if it is all left to you you and your relationship with your sister will be the one to suffer and if your parents dont wish to tell her have them put it in writing you have to remember its your parents and you should give them their wish but try to play the game safe without having to jeopardize your relationship with your sister