Should I drop her or keep going?

Question

Wives, how often do you think of your husband throughout the day? Normally? Sexually? If you rated it on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being all the time most important, to 10 being never and not important, where would you rate? My wife gave me the rating of 10. Fun for me. She never does anything to improve our s*x life. She doesn't like doing anything creative or new. It's always missionary or her on top, which is nice, but come on we've been married for 12 years, don't you think it's time for something new? I love experimenting and trying new things and so we fight about it all the time. If she does agree to do doggy we argue first and then she says "just get it over with". That's a lot of fun. She puts no effort at all. One fight we had she was complaining that our kids are growing up to fast and she can't buy them all the stuff she wants to and it's depressing her. I told her we are getting older and our s*x drive is slowing down and I'm depressed we don't have s*x more than once every two weeks. Her response to that was "we can have s*x in 20 years, but our kids are only this age once so I need to focus on that right now". Problem is I won't be around in 20 years at this rate. She puts everything in front of me and our s*x life. At the end of the day if you asked her if she thought of s*x once, she would say no. The funny thing is when she does think of s*x, this is her response: I was horny earlier today and thought it would be fun to do something tonight, but I'm not horny anymore so I don't really feel like it. Yippee!!! She also told me to never ask or bring up anything sexually during the day, only at night after the kids are in bed and she's done with her other stuff. Then if she's not to tired then maybe. Problem is, she's always tired. So what should I do? Keep her or dump her and find someone who actually will rate me below a 10?

Answer 1

I'm married 22 years... and man do I know what you mean.

I've said this before.... but women need to hear it again. Your wife needs to know:

When a man falls in love.. it's not like he checks to see whether she has a V8 under the hood ... you know... maybe she just sort of parks intercourse on the bench in terms of her main areas of interest. You are really not to know... and before you know it.. you are hooked on her and nobody else.

This is a serious and concerning dilemma for a guy who is really just a dirty little s**t after all said and done. A polyamorous person like me is not always lucky enough to fall in love with someone just like him/her.

So what are we to do... 25 years into marriage... of suppressed sexuality and looking down the barrel of another 25 years of unfulfilled and repressed sexuality... let's face it... something's going to give one day... and it usually does.

Then we hear about the divorce statistics. Fact is, after the kids grow up... in the majority it's the women who instigate divorce... are they just looking for an excuse..... because infidelity is one that is often used... but it is also one that many polyamourous couples embrace... so Cheating needn't carry the badboy image that it has.

Guys are polyamorous... we just haven't realised that it's OK to be that way. It's the women who suppress our sexuality ~ our liberty.. our natural tendancy for a polyamourist lifestyle and our instincts! Bloody matriarchal societies.... this has gone on long enough!

Men of the world revolt... unlock your shackles... and enjoy the pleasure you are endowered to experience.

Have the time of your life. There will come a time, when intercourse isn't part of it and I say you should try to put that off as long as possible. Why settle for none for the sake of fidelity. There's no point in being trapped in a sexless marriage years before your time is up.

Answer 2

it sounds like your wife does not feel the same way about s*x as you.  It sounds like she was raised to belive that s*x is dirty and bad.  Maybe couples therapy or s*x therapy could help your relationship.  I realize that this is tough for you but be patient with her. and in the meantime, theres always p**n.

Answer 3

I am married for ten years we have two boys two and five months. I make time for my husband as often as I can. I need s*x just as much if not more than he does. I think couples lose the sense of intimacy when children come and you allow it to happen. I spend all day with the kids and when huby comes home we do a family time and then it is us. We have once a week date nights where it is no children at all. I make sure to have s*x with hubby at lest once a day, keeps his a s s happy and us connected. I cannot tell you what to do. You need to maybe put the cards on the table and see if between the two of you you can work out something. I would just tell you to tell her to make time. In twenty years I want to say to my hubby, I gave you enough s*x and really mean it then.lol. Sorry.