Should I end this relationship?

Question

I am currently engaged. I have a big problem though, and am not sure if I need to get out of this relationship. First of all my fiancé loves to watch p**n movies, loves to look out porno magazines, looks at p**n on the internet....he knows I don't like it. So he keeps his magazines hidden under the sink...he keeps all his porno DVDs (which he has a ton of) hidden in his closet....and whenever he gets a chance when I am out of the house he looks at whatever he can. He is not a very sexual person with me....has trouble sexually...probably because of his age 48...smokes...drinks....but he is very affectionate towards me in the way of hugging...holding hands..Telling me how much he loves me etc. I have gathered that he loves to look at p**n not so much to get off ...but because he loves to look at women...especially pretty women....he loves the teen porno movies and magazines. I feel totally uncomfortable with this....I could never compare to these women...and even if he promised not to look at it again...I can't stop the fact that he likes to look right?? Other than that he is the best boyfriend...supportive...caring....will do anything I ask. But I just feel I can't live with this. And him keeping this stuff secretive from me (and I know every hiding place etc.) Are all men like this with a fascination with looking at pretty women...he stares at them in public too.????please help!!

Answer 1

It's your choice

Answer 2

No, that is not normal!    My BF likes to look at it too(as 98% of guys do) but yours sounds a little obsessed!   If you love him and he is perfect in every other way, try counseling.   If that doesn't work and it makes you that uncomfortable then obviously it needs to be over  

Answer 3

NO- all men are NOT like that.  He sounds perverted as far as s*x goes. YOu only know what you see but I'm sure it goes much deeper.  Can he have s*x with you without looking at a p**n - I'll bet he's got to look at p**n just to climax....right?  You may want to re-think spending the rest of your life with him.  What will you do if he molests someone or is caught peeping at one of your friends, family members or co-workers. What if he goes so far as to start touching instead of looking at other women....

All the signs you need are there- choose to look at them and take heed as opposed to thinking it's crazy and there's nothing to worry about...All men love looking at beautiful women but they're not all addicted to p**n like that. You've got some decisions to make.

Answer 4

I think you can do better in finding a partner, as him looking at p**n they class as a form of cheating.  

Answer 5

what a totally bookworm your fiancee is. for me,. you should end that relationship girl. i think it's a habit already.  

Answer 6

err well if he is watching p**n and not doing a lot in bed then yes

Answer 7

tell him if he dosent loose the p**n then he is losing a relationship and leave and as for looking its normal in men but let him kno ur the only one for him

Answer 8

no let him keep all that and u be glad he told u it might help in bed

Answer 9

Just tell him you are not comfortable with it and you will leave him if he doesn't stop. If he truly is right for you he will stop.

Answer 10

Let's just say if it were right you wouldn't be asking. 48 is not old----to old for s*x--not by far.your boyfriend has a problem and it's not you.

Answer 11

It's a respect thing. he shouldn't be looking at other ladies in front of you. There are lots of men out there that aren't addict to p**n like this man is. It doesn't sound too healthy.. Just be aware. My girlfriend was the same situation. Perfect guy, good around the house, treated her nice with affection, she knew he liked p**n but didn't realize how obsessed he really was with it. She awoke one morning early to see him watching young girls on the internet, then 3 months later they had their house raided. He was into child pornography. These asian girls he was watching were pre pubic age..9 years of age!!! he down loaded 3,000 pics... I am sure her bf (now ex) use to enjoy watching it, but it can get out of control.. If it makes you feel uncomfortable and he is obsessed with it, it doesn't look like a good healthy long term relationship.. It could escalate.. Could you live with this behavior for years to come?

Answer 12

Are you not comphy that he's looking at p**n or that he's hiding it from you?  Maybe he's hiding it because he senses that you don't approve.  Have you tried to engage in looking at this stuff with him and making it part of your intimate life together...it might turn him on more to you.  That's what I do with my husband.  BUT if you are totally uncomphy with all this it may be hard to do.  I don't find it unusual for men to like p**n or to look at other women as they are very visual in nature.  Teen (18-19) p**n is fine (kiddie p**n...hit the road)!!  As long as he's not having relations with other women it's quite normal.

Answer 13

Most men enjoy p**n, but he seems to be a bit obsessed. Also the teen p**n is troubling. You might want to re think this relationship altogether.

Answer 14

Looking is ok, as long as he don't take it to another level. Its ok to be attracted to other people (you cant help who your attracted to) but as long as he's not trying to do more.. you said it your self.. he's supportive.. caring.. and will do anything you ask (what more do you want sweety?)..  

Answer 15

End it!!! End it now don't waste your time.

Answer 16

i think you should deffinately stay with him!

thats just the way he is- people have flaws and you have to accept them

you should talk to him and tell him how you feel, hopefully he will understand

( i dont think its such a big deal that he looks at p**n but he deffinately shouldnt be looking at oother girls in public)

Answer 17

If you can't live with this now you will not be able to live with it once you are married. Sorry, but it doesn't get any better. If he does it now then he WILL do it then.

Answer 18

ditch the loser!!!

seriously

Answer 19

probably because of his age 48...

he loves the teen porno movies and magazines.

I think I am going to get a thumbs down on the straight talk here but I don't care, teen porno almost 50 year old man , that is against the law , both natural and established. My advise is to get away quickly. Do not marry him

  

Answer 20

I wouldn't marry him if I were you.  A p**n addiction is very serious and will severely affect your marriage.  Prolonged exposure to it alters your sexuality and your brain chemistry.  In fact, rape, sexual assault and the like is born from this addiction.

Answer 21

if its bothering u nowwwwww, how will things change once u get married???? if he could have stopped this already dont u think he would have? its one thing to look at p**n and still be sexual with ur other half, but its a far other thing to look at all this p**n and notttt be sexual. seriosly u already know its not going to change, y not find someone that clicks on all levels with u. and ps- y owuld u wanna marrry someone who isnt sexual with u, can u live wiith that the rest of ur life>????  

Answer 22

I think that if it bothers you this much then you shouldn't have said yes to the proposal, unless you didn't know before hand. Look, everyone looks at p**n at one time or another. So he likes the teens, that doesn't mean that he is going to be a pedophile or that he is a pervert. Most 'teens' are 18-20 and perfectly legal. I am sorry that your apparent lack of self esteem is making you feel inferior to women that he will never see or have the chance to meet in real life. Think of it this way, you must look good to him or you wouldn't be engaged to him. If you want to give this relationship a chance you will have to sit down and have a serious honest open conversation about s*x and p**n and how you feel about it. Along with any other isssues that you might have, now is the time, not after you are married. And how you feel about his needing to hide it from you. I think that is what you are really mad at, not the p**n itself.  If after talking you don't think that the issue can be resolved to your satisfaction, then consider leaving him. But give it a shot first, which would you regret more later, leaving without hearing him out or leaving with peace of mind.

Answer 23

i wouldn't want my partner to go looking at p**n ditch him you deserve someone better xx

Answer 24

Men don't change, what you see is usually what you get. If it bothers you now, I doubt you'll ever get used to it. If he's already hiding things from you, that's not good.

Answer 25

Pretty much all men are like this. I know how disturbing it can be, but if you truly love this guy then it's your decision.

Answer 26

yes that stuff is horrible, dear god i believe that im a sinner and accept those sins into going into Heave when i die Amen.  

Answer 27

You might want to re think this relationship  

Answer 28

he sounds a little excessive and if it makes you uncomfortable tell him to make a choice between you or the p**n. or you guys could make your own. that might benefit both of you

Answer 29

You know,  I saw the "he is not sexual with me" part and got pissed. He loves Teen p**n, yet has no s*x drive for you...? He may be a pediophile...  

Look, if you marry this guy, (no matter how supportive he is right now) all this stuff you mentioned will blow up like a mother... and you know what I mean! It will be a terrible life long experience. You will build resentment and you WILL loose attraction for him, unless your self esteem is in the trash and by posting here now, you are saying that you haven't lost it all yet.

You don't mention your age, but don't allow the desperation of finding JUST ANYONE to undermine your ability to judge character. You WILL NOT be happy with this guy. Give him back the ring and please, move out or do what you  need to do to get a better life partner.

Answer 30

If he likes to look at teen p**n then he is a pervert.

Get away from this sicko.

Answer 31

The insecurity is you wonder when will be the time that he go forward to someone who was freaky and not sure if one day you cannot satisfy him.

I had the same problem with my ex and I try to fulfill him and support him and not saying anything about the porno, however he turns out seriously addicted.

I share my feelings and cannot correct anything, I wish you make a good chioce.