Should I fOrgive of she is having s*x with him again ?

Question

I'm 25 and she is 22. We are in a relationship for 3 and half years now.

She is childish, childlike, believes in people easily, smart in dealing some topics though, Talks and argues well, do not know what to talk sometimes, emotional, white-lies for no reason, enjoys s*x greatly( I m saying this openly too so that i get replies with complete analysation).

During our relationship, She was good to me. Though she used to lie often for petty things. I used to ask her to be genuine with me. She was very low when I met her as she broke up with her Ex of 1 year. I treated her so good and always used to comfort her in every possible way.

There are few things i dont like in her. Those are she gets easily frustated, anger, lose her temper. I warned her to be good n sweet. She used to repeat above things for which i used to lose my control and we used to have fights often and then immediately we used to get back.

We kind of had a major fight in last Dec '07. She started talking to her old guy friend from March '08 also met him. She again met him last month and stayed with him for 3 days. They even shared physical bond . She agreed. When i questioned..she said that she did all those becuz of the major fights we had. I understood she attracted to him physically.

Last saturday .. She told the other guy that she is ready to lose her 3yr relationship with me if he is serious too. She said infront of me to him. Though all these happened i told her... I will forget about what happened ..just come to me .. I can still welcome you cuz i have true feelings for you... putting her immaturity in my mind.

Now she says....she needs time to get over him. She says like till December or so she needs time. They both are meeting this weekend again. I am in helpless condition what to do and how to accept her in the future? (If she comes to me saying sorry for what all she did)

Someone please write to me ..what would you do if you were in my shoes? I am not able eat, kinda having heavy breathing wheneva i think about whats happening...

:( :( :( I'm sad n HURT so bad.

Answer 1

Friends and just friendship

A friend is a person

to laugh and cry with,

An inspiration,

Someone who lends a helping hand,

though friends may not be forever,

And they may not end up together,

the memories of a true friendship will last forever.

A friend is not a shadow nor a servant

But someone who holds

a piece of a person in his heart.

Someone who shares a smile,

Someone who brightens up your day

What makes a person a friend ?

Answer 2

This girl doesn't know what she wants. She still has a lot of attraction for this guy and yet on the other hand knows that you'll always be there if things don't work with him. Honestly I would let her go. You are too good for her. She's already making her choice, she's meeting with him in the weekend. If she wanted to think this over she would have left you both and went to think on her own.

Let her go. It will be hard, but if you keep accepting her back she's going to cause more pain to you in the end. She needs to grow up before she gets into another relationship.

Answer 3

She sounds more mature than you give her credit for: 'She told the other guy that she is ready to lose her 3yr relationship with me if he is serious too. She said infront of me to him.'

I reckon you have a problem taking responsibility for your own problems/imperfect behaviour: ' I warned her to be good n sweet. She used to repeat above things for which i used to lose my control and we used to have fights often and then immediately we used to get back.'

It sounds to me as though YOU have a problem with your emotions, temper and maturity, not just her. When you were arguing she was probably trying with her ability to 'talk and argue well' to express what it was she that wanted different in the relationship.

I think you chose her because you thought she was childish and you have a problem dealing with confrontation and having an equal relationship. I think that you won't save this relationship until you start paying her feelings more respect and take her more seriously. She is not a child. Her feelings are important. You describe your feelings of loss of control and 'heavy breathing' etc. in a way that shows you take your own feelings very seriously. Her feelings are not 'emotional childishness' - you should have taken them just as seriously.

Sounds like she's been unhappy for some time and all you can do is stop sleeping with her, let her go her own way and show her that you are willing to listen to her feelings and take them seriously. Then she might return. Pull out of the relationship while she thinks and makes up her mind, but show and tell her that you are willing to listen and change if need be.

Answer 4

dump that ho!

Answer 5

dump her

Answer 6

Grooming in the right channel is fine .

Answer 7

I can tell already, stay any longer and you are going to be in a worse condition then you are already or just in more mental and emotional pain, she must be lying to you, if she needs time to get over him, why is she still seeing him?

So, I say this, you are better then that, you need to find a woman that will do the same thing you do for this current gf, because she treats you like c**p, and she is just pulling you along for the joy of causing you more pain.

You need to confront her and break up with her, but before you break up with her, make sure you let her realize how good of a bf you are/were to her and how much you love her, also tell her how you feel about this other guy in her life, and show that you have feelings too, but she is really hurting you right now, and you can't deal with all that pain, then break up with her.

Hope that helped.

Answer 8

She is playing you for a fool and if you "wait" for her she will end up with this other guy. The fact she cheated on you because of arguments you and her had should be enough to tell you she is no good and its time to move on. If she can cheat on you under these conditions, do you think it would be any different after you are married? When you have children? No, it won't. You CANNOT CHANGE OTHERS. You can only change yourself. Staying with her will only lead you down a path of frustration, resentment, and anger. You'll likely never trust her and with good reason.

Answer 9

She's not worth your pain and suffering.

I think you should leave her as already suggested. Yes, its hard, its a 3 year relationship, but don't make it 4 or more.

You can find someone else who is loyal and loving.  

Answer 10

Oh wow. Im so sorry, you are in a sucky situation.

From the sounds of the constant arguments and her immaturity, maybe you are best to have a break. I see sleeping with someone else as unforgivable in a relationship, even one that has lasted 3 years. Once a cheater always a cheater. I think you should cut your losses and search for a sweet girl who will treat you right. You dont deserve what shes doing. No one does. And by telling her that you will forget about it you just want her back is just going to encourage her to walk over you even more.

Sorry sweety. I dont mean to sound harsh. But tough love. You will heal :)

Good luck.

Answer 11

Well love hurts but this girl seems to be making a fool of you. There are plenty of fish in the see get yourself together and find yourself a woman?