Should I fake it if I can't change it?

Question

I hate how I look, yet I can't really change it. I'm 6'3", about 240 lbs (yes, I know I can stand to lose some weight), broad shouldered, and bald. I hate it and I resent remarks about it. However, I can't change it, so is it worth my while to pretend to like it since nobody understands how I feel? I hate the idea of being a phony, but it's not like my life is that great now, so maybe pretending is better than being honest about disliking how I look, esp. since nobody gets why I would hate this.

http://i385.photobucket.com/albums/oo296/curseofdolkite/bw.jpg

http://i385.photobucket.com/albums/oo296/curseofdolkite/atfalls.jpg

Answer 1

I don't think you should fake it, I just think you shouldn't base your entire life around it. You can't change your height, no. But so what? I hate the way I look. I have an ugly nose, and ugly eyebrows. Yes, eyebrows. I suppose I could get a nose job and a face lift or some such other cosmetic surgery, and I do think about that in those "what if I won the lottery" daydreams... But I highly doubt I will ever be able to afford it, so why would I waste so much time thinking about it?

I think it's fine to hate how you look. It's an appearance driven world. If you seriously can't find other things in life that you find appealing, and you have to dwell on how ugly you are each and every day... that's your choice. Just don't expect people to support you.  

Answer 2

I am sorry you hate the way you look.  I certainly don't.  You are a good looking guy and whether or not you lose weight, you have a nice clean cut appeal that is attractive.  As far as being bald, there are so many males, old and young alike who shave their heads for the convenience of it and for the way it looks.  I, for one, happen to like it.  Look around and see all the bald guys.  It's an epidemic!!  Maybe people don't understand why you feel the way you do or even think that it is an important factor to liking you.  You need to focus on the good things about you, and I am sure there are many.  Get involved in doing something you really like to do; join a group where people share your interests; donate your time to do something worthwhile or which can help someone less fortunate than yourself.  You will see that all of this stuff that is bothering you will fall by the wayside and you will recognize that you have a lot to offer and are more than just an attractive person; you are someone who is making a difference.  Go for it!!

Answer 3

First of all. There is nothing wrong with your looks.

Baldness does run in my wife's family.

and they look as bald as you.

They laugh it off with each other, as in

the pot calling the kettle black.

They have said it many times.

Just because there is no snow on the roof.

Doesn't mean, there is no fire in the furnace.

I am, blonde and not bald. I shave my head myself.

I keep the money in my pocket,

and nobody see's the gray. <}--------(:-})

Answer 4

The world would be a very dull place if we all looked the same.  We all have different tastes.  I can think of plenty of ladies I'd set up w/ a guy who looks like you.  You look strong, protective, and snuggly.  There are a lot of women who go ga-ga for that kind of guy.  

I think you should give yourself a good look and decide what you DO love about yourself - play it up and just ROCK it.  Nothing is hotter than confidence.

Also - I know this may sound lame, but have you ever watched that show on Lifetime called "How To Look Good Naked"?  (I think it's on Tuesday nites around 8).  Everytime I watch it, I can look in the mirror and think - hey - I have a lot to be happy about.  It helps you to realize that everyone has things they don't like about their looks - but that THEY are the only ones who really notice or are bothered by it.

The most important thing to remember is NOT to stop living your life and enjoying yourself just because you don't like the way you look.  Start focusing your attention on others and enjoying life and you will start to love yourself.

Answer 5

Well, here's the thing. There's an old saying that if you hear something enough, you start to believe it's true. And there is some truth to that. If you constantly tell yourself you don't look good, then you're going to assume you don't look good no matter what anyone else says. And people really do pick up on how you feel about yourself. So if you start faking your own self confidence (NOT ego, mind you) you might find you actually start to believe it. It worked fairly well for me.

As a side note, you're not bad looking, whether you believe it, or not. But if you want to start working out, start doing it to make yourself healthier, not to make yourself better looking. You'll find it's easier to stick to when you're doing it for your health, and you will still get the side effect of getting more fit.

Answer 6

When I see you I think strong, nice, and social. There are always rude people, that's something you can't change. Do simple things that can boost your confidence like buy new clothes or hit the gym (you don't even have to think 'I need to lose weight' or 'I need to bulk up', do it for fun!). You should stay strong about yourself. Not everyone will make bad remarks about you.

Answer 7

im not seeing a thing wrong with you...you look great...if you want bulk up a bit.but other then that

you look great so dont worry about it  

Answer 8

You look absolutely smashing, mate.  Stop worrying about it!  Have you seen the number of good responses you have got on here?  Hopefully that will give you a bit of confidence!

Answer 9

I think your hot.  Too young for me but very good looking.  

Answer 10

just hang around people who dont make you feel down about your looks. thats why i do.  

Answer 11

Many people don't like how they look.  You look great - I'd buy you a drink!

Answer 12

I really dont see a problem with the way you look. I think your nuts! LOL

Answer 13

Honestly, you don't look that bad. Kinda cute, actually.

I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth.

If you're concentrating on the bad, you're never going to see the good. Focus on the good. Look in the mirror and find something you like about yourself, inside and out. Even if it's something as simple as "I like the color my eyes are today" or "I love my eyelashes" or "My cuticles are looking really good today." If you continue to concentrate on the good, your self-esteem will rise and pretty soon you'll start thinking, "Hey, I'm not so bad!" You might even find you like things you used to resent.

Make the things you dislike about yourself something likeable. Shave your head completely smooth. Many girls LOVE completely bald guys (trust me...I'm one of them).

Hope that helped.

Answer 14

Only you have the power to change what you don't like about yourself...

but I'll tell you this...from the looks of your pics, you're a good-looking guy. Your wardrobe needs a little update, but that's an easy fix! At 6'3 240 lbs is not too overweight. That can be changed too. Stop eating fast food and go for some walks. The bald head is "in" right now. As for the remarks you resent...stop hanging out with negative people! If they are co-workers, ignore them!

Answer 15

It's always best to accept yourself for who & what you are.  There is nothing wrong with being 6'3", 240lbs & bald.  The image you have of yourself will be what others see you as eventually. Just like the natural beauty of aging vs. cosmetic surgery.  I'd rather grow older gracefully than spend what's left of my life looking like Joan Rivers or Michael Jackson.

Answer 16

you look fine to me  

Answer 17

Baby, you are hot, hot hot.  Bald--who cares, look how s**y Yul Brenner was bald.  The bod is great, the face is inviting.  Tell the truth, did you just need a little ego lift at the moment--seems the consensus so far is that you are definitely "do-able"!  Now it's Friday night, go out & get you some, you sweet thing!

Answer 18

you look good :)

Answer 19

I think you have issues other than how you look.  IMHO you are spending a loot of time and effort worrying about that. Direct all that energy into something more constructive, like helping other people.  The more time you help others, the less you have to focus on yourself.  Really, I'm not being mean.  I struggled with this for years until I figured it out.  

Answer 20

you look fine to me

Answer 21

You're hot. don't change anything.  

Answer 22

believe me when i say that bald works for you!, seriously...there's nothing wrong with the way you look, but if your feelings about your image have already sunken too deep then i suggest that you just try to let it slip...i mean that way you wouldn't have to lie or bear with the fact that you don't like how you look. try to forget about it, even if you remember it every time you see a mirror, it doesn't matter, with a lot of practice you can actually train yourself to not care about something even when its already in front of you. people have even worse situations than yours that they are stuck in, and they manage to not care...sure sometimes they remember but that's jut a temporary set-back. don't let it interfere with the way you live.

but seriously...you look fine, did you know that bald gives you a more professional look, if you change your wardrobe just a little bit to the more "business man" (vests, black leather shoes etc. etc.) then people will totally respect you the minute they see you. did you know that the baldness actually can affect the way people see your weight, it makes them think your not really as heavy and fat as you really seem.

so bottom line, try to forget about your feelings, suppress them whenever they come up. lying will get you nowhere, and you don't want to live with a sense that your ugly forever.

oh and your not ugly...you look fine.

hope i helped

Answer 23

You look fine to me too

Answer 24

I agree with everyone else, you look good!  

Answer 25

It's not your looks that need fixing.  It's your confidence.  I saw your picture and you're better looking than me.  No I'm not g*y.  

Answer 26

you are a good looking man i dont understand why you hate how you look. we are all different in great ways. being confident in how you look is a very admirable quality in people. or try not dwelling on looks. try focusing more on your personality and positive thinking. i would suggest some self esteem books.

Answer 27

you look good to me.

people are a******s, they only comment cuz they are jealous. Just ignore it and brush it off.

Answer 28

although there is no way to change some physical attributes it is very human to criticize yourself.  it would be great if we can say to ourselves i cant change this about me so ill just let it be and accept myself.  but that isnt the case especially at your age.  people become more comfortable with who they are past the age of 40.  

however there are things about yourself that you can change to make yourself feel better and more secure which does include exercising.  not just making yourself look better physically but emotionally people who exercises tend to feel better.  

Answer 29

If you don't like the way you look, don't pretend to, that can make it worse for you than you already think... just try and do something about it. in my opinion you look really good. but its not my opinion that matters.. it's all yours. so if you want go on a diet... go running... join a gym, do whatever you can to make YOU happy.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i102/h...

(i'm the girl)

i used to hate the way i looked but i just did more of what made me happy and less worrying about my image, i still dont love the way I look but im more comfortable now.

Answer 30

You hate how you look based on what? Brad Pitt? Like you said, you can't change it sooo.. might as well learn to love yourself rather than be miserable. If you don't care what others think and you just live how you want to live then maybe you'd enjoy life more. (wasn't trying to sound hostile if I did)

Answer 31

You look great but you need to gain some confidence.  Confidence is s**y.  Maybe you do need to work on improving how you feel about the other areas of your life and then you will feel better about yourself overall.