Should I feel bad about this? Maybe because I am a working mom...?

Question

...I feel guilty. Let me start by saying not working and staying home is not an option for my family. We would eventually like to own a home and saving for it is the only way and the only way to get money is to work for it. I also want my kids to go to college and I am very adament about that. I am watching a friend of mine struggle with her sons education. She told me to save for college. She said that is the only regret she had.

Okay so, I have a two year old daughter and she goes to daycare. I get home at about 5:30 and she gets home at about 5pm with her dad. They have snack and then she pretty much plays on her own. I get home (I am 5 months pregnant) cook dinner and we play for a while. Then I need to sit down because I am so tired. We have dinner, a bath, a story then bed at 9. Weekends we always try to do something fun.

I feel bad. Sometimes I cant play for long because I a tired. Is there something more I can do?

Answer 1

As long as you're present, it doesn't really matter if you're playing or just talking and watching. Maybe you should put her dad in charge of snack time and playing, and then you take care of bath and bedtime story. That way you have a certain amount of time set aside to spend with her.

Answer 2

All that really matters is that the time you spend with her is quality time.  Your kids want to feel wanted and loved and so its not always about quantity but really about quality.  Perhaps you can find ways to play that don't involve too much moving around so you can still engage and rest.  You are a good mom for even worrying about this, some mothers wouldn't be concerned!

Answer 3

Well, you need to support your family, so you have to go to work. You have to make sacrifices for your family!

Answer 4

Your schedule sounds similar to mine.  I have found that the quality of time that I spend with my sons outweighs the quantity.  As long as you go to bed each night knowing that you made her feel loved and did what you had to do as a parent to make sure that she is well taken care of then you have done your job.

Answer 5

I'm in a similar boat.  I found myself a single mom of 3 and had to go to work after being a stay at home mom for 9 years.  My children are old enough to complain (trust me) if they did not see me often enough and I have yet to hear much fussing.  I make sure we do special outings and even try to do one on one activities with each child occasionally.  I'm sure that your daughter loves every second you are with her, but do not fret too much.  As long as she sees that you are there for her, she will grow to be a fine young lady.

Answer 6

My mom was a single parent who WORKED HER PANTS OFF.  we didnt get to spend a lot of time together, but my younger years I remember the smaller things we did together...

Like helping her bake, or doing just about ANYTHING with her... like going to get a haircut.  I really enjoied spending time alone with her.  Maybe you and your daughter can do some 'girl things' together... I don't remember what 2 yr olds like to do...  I'm thinking: paint nails, 'helping' cook, small things you think are kinda boring or a mundane task, she'd probably like to 'help' you with.  

P.S. my mom's not the greatest cook - like I said - it was the alone time I treasured more than what we were doing.  Don't feel bad about not being able to play long, whats important is that you WANT to.

Answer 7

I think that storytime and bath time are important times for you two to spend together. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to make sure she knows you love her. Thats all that matters. Good luck to you.