Should I feel slighted and should I boycott the next birthday celebration?

Question

My department is quite "religious" about getting birthday people cards and lunch and/or a gift. Today is my birthday and no one has. I have gotten a few phone calls/emails.

My question is, is it petty for me to feel slighted, and should I boycott the next department birthday celebration? They usually ask for donations for gifts, and if they didn't give me one, should I still fork over money for someone else? Is this really childish of me? Should I just let it go and feel like a doormat?

Answer 1

Don't boycott or face looking like a poor sport.  Instead, just be sure you are short on cash when the collection crew comes by.

Answer 2

Maybe something happened and someone missed it? Do they normally remember your birthday? Maybe the person in charge of that has something personal going on? There are MANY reasons why this could have happened. But you could hint around that it hurt your feelings no one remembered. Or just flat out tell them. Either way.

But be VERY careful about how you react. Perhaps they got the days confused and think it is another day. If they already have you something and plan on giving it to you say tomorrow, you will look SUPER petty throwing a fit. Especially if it was simply an over sight. And the fact that no one 'has' to give a gift or anything... Careful, is it worth all that?

Answer 3

Who in your department is the party organizer?  Were they aware it was your b-day?  If the answer is yes, then it is very wrong of them to that and I understand your hurt feelings.

Frankly, I don't approve nor do I attend my companies events and it is because of what you have experienced.  Someone is always left out for whatever reasons and it's just not right.

If the party organizer wasn't aware of your bday, ......maybe you could respond to one of the people who emailed you that you are were left out of the bday celebration.  And, put a sad face on it.

If the above still doesn't help.....I really would stop going and participating and when it comes up just tell folks that you feel bad that this celebration does not always include everyone in the dept and that you don't think this right.

Answer 4

I dont think you should boycott the party, when share in the joy of others, you can easily get them to your side. Join them but be yourself. Giving the right gift that send the right message of love is also very important. Get the right gift ideas at http://www.all-about-birthday-celebratio...

Answer 5

Happy Birthday.  I think you are justified to have hurt feelings about this particularly if you have contributed in the past to other's gifts and celebrations.  Actions speak louder than words, send emails and make calls to those who recognized your special day in return on theirs.  Forget everyone else.

Answer 6

I would contribute nothing to the next celebration, and not attend it. If your coworkers can't include you by celebrating your birthday. then there's no reason to expect you to include yourself on others' birthdays.

If anybody asks why you won't participate, simply state that since your birthday was not celebrated, then you have no reason to celebrate anyone else's.

Answer 7

Well, it is very not cool that they would do birthday celebrations for some people and not for others.  I think if they don't have a good reason for missing yours, (they had the wrong date or something) then the next time you're asked to donate, I would say something like, "Oh...I thought we weren't *doing* that anymore."  If asked why you thought that, then tell them.

Answer 8

No, you are not childish or petty. I wouldn't advise you to give to any future birthday gifts in your department. Tell them you want out of this silly stuff.

Answer 9

I'm sorry your birthday celebration was skipped. I know how that feels.

I like the other suggestion of going to future celebrations and signing any card that may be passed out, and being "short on cash" for donations. In today's economy, it's easy to be short on cash.

However, if you're not comfortable in participating in future celebrations, you'll have to have a really good reason, like a doctor's appointment or lunch date - something that takes you out of the office.

Happy birthday, dear one, and many more! :-)

Answer 10

I would not participate in any more of their birthday parties.  For the people who sent emails, do the same for them when their birthday comes and call the ones who called you.  

I have been going through the same thing with my knitting group.  They all have birthdays and exchange presents and after 3 years of knitting with them they have yet to do anything about my birthdays...after I told them when it was the first time (and mentioned it was coming the next week) they didn't do anything about it....or just forgot.  After that and for the next 2 years it hasn't even occurred to them that I even have a birthday.  They talk about their birthdays like they're holidays though.  It is very hurtful and I can't get past it.  I never participate in their celebrations anymore, though I did before they ignored my first birthday...I don't even say happy birthday when I know it's coming.

FYI...those people aren't your friends.

Happy Birthday