Should I forgive my parents?

Question

It all started today.

It was hot, but I still decided to wear pants, instead of shorts. My dad, being my dad, got mad at me. I don't know why, but he always gets mad at me when I wear clothes you wouldn't normally wear in hot days. That's stupid, I mean why would you even get mad at that?

Anyway, I got mad when he yelled at me, and I said "Why are you so mad?" He said he wasn't, and then suddenly my mom just yelled at me, saying how stupid I was. I don't remember what I did to even tick her off. And I think she said I was a waste of space.

Anyway, I got mad, so I just went downstairs, and I heard my dad say: "Your always playing alone, feels great huh?" There was sarcasm dripping from his voice, I didn't reply, so I kept heading to my room, and I heard my mom say I was stupid again.

My parents left for a BBQ a few minutes later, leaving me alone.

Until, my dad called me. I knew he was going to just yell at me, but I picked it up anyway.

He started yelling as I thought, about if I let my dogs go outside to do business.

You see, what I do everyday, is let my dogs outside once a day, they are really small dogs, like maybe a foot wide, and half a foot tall, so they don't eat much, and thus they don't need to go outside much.

Anyway, I always let them out at 6:30 PM each night, I do it at that time because the sprinklers go off at 7:10, so it's sort of a reminder.

It was 5:30 when he called me, and he yelled at me for not letting my dogs out. I even explained to him, that I always let the dogs out at 6:30, and he knew that! But he just yelled at me, and threatened to give away my dogs.

You see, my parents are never home, so they assume I never take care of my dogs. And they threaten to give away my dogs all the time. And they are serious. I remember when my youngest dog died, it was a really sad moment for me, and typically, I cried. My dad called laughed and said his sons should not cry, but I couldn't help it, and it didn't help much when he put my dog, in a used trash bag, and THREW HIM AWAY. That obviously proves that he does not care if my dogs are given away or not.

Anyway, sorry about that. Anyway, he also told me to pick up the business my dogs leave behind. I know it wasn't a good time to tick him off even more, so I quickly prepared to do it. Until my dad called again. This time, it was me who was ticked off. He was obviously calling to see if I was even doing it or not. He always does that.

So I picked up, and QUIETLY said "I'm doing it". Granted, it wasn't exactly the best way to answer, but he deserved it. But turns out, it didn't help at all. He yelled at me, in a even louder voice. Normally, I would stay quiet, but he went over the line this time.

You see, I like to be on the computer a lot. I know that's not healthy, and I realize it myself. But my parents think I'm some sort of loner because of that. I have friends, but they live pretty far away from me, so I can't really go over to my friends whenever I like. Now that that part is explained, you'll see why my dad got so mad at me.

He yelled at me, saying how I was pathetic, and didn't have any friends. Because my computer was my only friend, which wasn't true on a side note. Anyway, he blamed my computer for be not having any friends, and said i was a loser. He also said this while cussing a lot, cusses that you would normally see in a M rated game, and a R rated movie.

He even threatened to kick me out of the house. I only have about 80$, so I knew living by myself would be a hard task. And after this, he asked /yelled "You don't have any friends do you?!" He said it as a statement rather than a question. I didn't want him to get any more mad, so I agreed.

But then...he compared me to my brother. My brother is basically one of the very popular people at my school, while I'm more of a nerd. We're practically from different worlds. But he still acts like a good brother.

Anyway, he asked if I had any friends like my brother, I agreed again, not wanting my dad to get angry even more.

He finally said. "Why can't you be more like him?"

Even though my brother was a good brother, I hated being compared to him.

I snapped, I really wanted to tell him off, but I didn't. I didn't even reply, he cussed even more at this, and eventually hung up.

I really hate him right now.

Normally, I would forgive him, but he took it over the line this time. I don't know if I should forgive him. Usually, by the next day, he'll be normal, but even knowing that, I'm not sure if I should forgive him.

This happened quite a while ago, so I can't remember it clearly. So some of the facts I put above, were probably not true, but you have my word that about 80% of it, is true.

What do you guys think? I can't even go to my mom because she's mad at me too.

Thank you for reading. And be serious, this is kind of a serious moment for me.

Hm, I didn't mean for this to be over 1 K words, sorry if it bored you.

Cya.

Answer 1

Wow. All started because of pants. o.0; What kind of parents are they? I feel sorry that you have to be compared to your brother. Saying that you are friendless and all those other names is horrible. Parents shouldn't do that. They are seriously bad tempered aren't they? Do you have a close relative? If so talk to them about this...

Anyway I am getting away from your question, now to answer it... if I were you I would find it hard to forgive them (I mean since they've been doing this a lot?) however you SHOULD forgive them because you have to live with them, though you should really consider going to live with a close relative... (though I did feel your anger reading that... I mean I probably wouldn't even pick up the phone... though then that would have been worst when they got home right? ^-^;)

Just a question, even though your brother is popular do you guys talk to each other? If so, talk to him about this... "/

Okay sorry for blabbering. Just do something relaxing to take your mind off of this for now x)

Answer 2

you should pray for your parents. explain to them when they are in a good mood how you feel. and no this didn't bore me. try to do things they tell you when they say to do it. my dad sometimes yells at me and i find the best way to calm him down is to do what he says when he says. he's threatened to lock me in my room for a day and not let me eat, take my room away if i talk/walk in my sleep ( which i do EVERY night), and some other stuff i cant remember . he's just in a bad mood alot and if i avoid him all day he usually calms down. hope it helps.

Answer 3

You did not bore me!  You sound a lot like my 19 year old son.  He is on the computer a lot and doesn't wear the "right" clothes either!  I am sorry you are having problems with your parents.  It sounds like you are being a normal teenager, just different from your brother, as you should be.  It's hard to accept your parents for who they are, just like it's hard for them to accept who you are.  It's hard to have good self esteem when others are trying to lower it, but that is their problem, not yours.

It's hard to be a nurturing parent when your own parents may not have been.  Your feelings are normal for the situations you described.  I would be confused and upset also.  Trying to accept your parents for who they are will help you.  It would be nice if they could do the same for you.    

You said you are a loner, but you could reach out to your friends or find a community teen center for support.  Be proud of who you are and who you want to become.  Try not to let what others think of you matter too much.  What you think of yourself is what is important.  You may be misunderstood by others, but don't let that affect how you look at yourself.

A suggestion:  before you get married and have children, take a parenting class.  It will help fill in the gaps in your parenting experiences.  You don't have to parent the way your parents did.

Answer 4

First off, your parents should not be treating you like that. It is one thing to get upset and yell for real reasons, but because you are a 'loser' is totally unacceptable. And in all honesty, it sounds as if your parents have problems of their own. do you know why they are never home? In my opinion it sounds as if they are battling mental issues or drug issues of some kind. I do not feel that any kid should have to sit there and listen to their parents degrade them as it seems you have. If this happens often you may consider living with family members that do respect you, like an aunt or uncle or grandparent.

Answer 5

people may treat us wrong even though it may hurt and they may say somethings that will hurt us as well also but yes you have to learn how to forgive your parents they might not understand it's not all about being the bigger person all the time it's about doing the right thing don't get a cold heart against them you only get one set of parents they love you I know at times it might not seem as though that they do but trust and believe they do it's just that they might not understand somethings maybe what you'll need to do is sit down and talk.You feel like everyone is picking on you that's why I said what I said about sitting down and talking out you'll situations. I do hope that everything will turn out better on your behalf.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry about the way your parents treat you!  Are they going through something?  Is it always like this?  You do NOT deserve to be treated like that!  Nothing you have done or ever will do makes it ok to say degrading things. I'm a parent and I would never say what your parents have said to you.  Hang tough!