Should I foster?

Question

My husband and I have 6 kids (two more on the way) and have been thinking about fostering for the past couple years. We were able to pass a home examine three years ago and would certainly pass another. However, should I foster even though our lives are crazy? My oldest daughter just had twins, my oldest son is expecting his 4th child in about 6 months, my son Hezekiah is expecting his first in less then three months and my husband and I am expecting our second set of twins in less then 4 months. Although we have a LARGE family, only three of my kids live with us (twins age 12 and son age 7) and of course, our newborns will also live with us. We own a small farm and have a ten bedroom house so there is plenty of space. Do you think our lives would be too stressful and hectic for a foster child? We want him to fill emotionally and physically secure. Please let me know. Thanks

Answer 1

If you feel that you can honestly give a child a great home and emotional support and love, then yes. By all means, foster! Good luck and hope all goes well.

Answer 2

If you honestly feel like you are not ready for another child. Don't do it. But if you are, by all means go ahead, and it'll be nice to adopt a kid so he/she won't spend almost his/her entire life in a foster home.

Answer 3

wait until after your twins are born and see how you feel. You must have a big heart to want to help others when you already have your hands full. good for you.

Answer 4

Before I answer your question, I need to be clear of my own biases.  I am a foster mom to a wonderful teenage girl who I wish I could adopt; as far as my husband and I are concerned, she is our daughter and we endeavor to keep her until she leaves for college.  The reality is that she is a ward of the state and could be taken away at any time.  Further, she is still in contact with her biological mom who has made it clear that she will fight our attempts to adopt her.  

I also have my own natural daughter who is 10 years old and I raised my husband's now grown daughter from the time she was 6.

You need to ask yourself why you want to be a foster parent.  You need to be aware of the stress involved of taking in a child who will certainly be troubled in one way or another.

If you are looking for the extra income, it will barely cover the additional expenses of another mouth to feed and clothe.  If you are looking for cheap labor on your farm, it is doubtful that the state will approve the child to work on your farm and it is a terrible reason to foster.

The best reason is that you have love to share.  

From your description, you already have lots of children of your own, more on the way, and grandchildren.  Do you have the emotional energy for a foster child too?

Please give it some thought.  You may want to wait until after you have your new twins and see if you feel prepared for another.

Answer 5

I don't think you should.

Answer 6

No, you need to take care of the ones you have.  You are going to spread yourself too thin and it isn't fair to your children.