Should I get...married?!?

Question

I'm pregnant. I'm 17. 18 September 10th so bassically in like less than two weeks.

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and ALMOST 5 months.

Everyone is telling me to get married.

He said he wants to someday and wouldnt mind doing it sooner than later.

Should we just..do it?

Answer 1

You both are still young.. dont get married yet..you wont be the same people in a few years. Especially dont get married  now just bc your pregnant..if could end up being a big mistake and you shouldnt put your child through it..

Answer 2

I do not think that  you should get married.

It seems that you have been rushing things all of your life.

I would suggest that the two of you live together for several years.

If the love is there it will last and then you can take the next step.

Its all legal after six months anyways.

In Ancient Rome, people didn't marry because they were in love. Folks married to carry on the family bloodline and for economical or political reasons. Women were under the jurisdiction of their fathers, so young girls were often married off when they were between the ages of twelve and fourteen. Some young men married at the age of fourteen also.

During the Middle Ages, the practice of youthful marriages continued and women married as early as fourteen. Men generally waited until they were more established in life which was usually when they were in their twenties or early thirties. In 1371, due to the plague, the average age at marriage for men was 24, and for women it was 16. By 1427, the average male of all classes did not wed til he was in his mid-30's, usually choosing a bride about half his age. Rich girls seemed to marry at a younger age than poor girls.

It is obvious from a historical perspective that marriages of teenagers (at least teenage girls) were quite common. However, that trend has changed in most countries of the world. Today, young love is neither encouraged or readily accepted by society.

Why are so many people against young married love? Because it is believed that more than 1/2 who marry in their teens will be divorced within 15 years. That is a pretty sobering statistic.

Additionally, according to the Center for Law and Social Policy, "Compared to girls who marry later, teenage brides have less schooling, less independence,and less experience of life and work." Teen brides are also at more risk for being abused and living at poverty levels.

There is another side to the story of teen marriage, though. That is the number of success stories that married teens share. For the record, Sheri was 19 when we married. Not all teen marriages end up as a another divorce statistic.

Things Teens Should Consider Before Tying the Knot

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Answer 3

No don't get married just yet. Just because you have a child together doesn't necessarily mean you two will work out. I hope you do, but you're both young still and have some growing up to do. I had a friend who married because she was pregnant and now she is miserable. She ended up having a miscarriage (not saying this will happen to you, but it's a critical part of the story) and married him anyway. He's very controling, is constantly accusing her of being unfaithful and often drives her to tears with his emotional abuse. Again, not saying this will happen to you, but the point is, they didn't know each other all that well when they married and basically only did it because of the child. Wait a few years at least, and see how you feel about each other then. You should only marry for love and no other reason. Good luck to you and congratulations on your pregnancy!

Answer 4

Absolutely not. Getting married just because your pregnant is not a good idea. If you marry because its what you REALLY want and you love each other that's one thing but don't do it because of the baby. My parents did that and I firmly believe that they would have made better parents if they hadn't married. Their marriage was such a nightmare I don't know if I can ever bring myself to marry even though I'd like to. (I'm 23.) You need to do what's best for you and your baby because there is no guarantee that this guy will stick around, marriage or not. I'm sorry but that's the reality of the situation. My advice is to graduate and get a job asap. I know people that have kids and went to college, so don't try and use it as an excuse. It's not just your future anymore, it's yours and your babies. You need to start thinking that way.

Best of luck.   :)

Answer 5

Wait until the baby is born and see how you both feel. The feeling of being trapped is worse than waiting until you know it's right.

Answer 6

No...just don't do it under peer pressure. If you love this guy and are ready and can take care of yourselves...that's another matter...but if you are not ready...simply don't. It could make matters worse for you. Take Care

Answer 7

I believe if you are going to get married get married for yourself. Not cause there is a child on the way. Cause if you just marry cause of your child one day if the love is not there anymore that you have to stay in the relationship for the child and you will be unhappy. My daughter is not my husband's biologically her biological father and his mother were pushing marriage on me just cause I was pregnant with my daughter. I was not in love with her biological father if I would have gotten married to him I would have been miserable and not happy. And thats not the way to go. Think about yourself also if you are truely in love and believe that this is what you want then go for it get married and if so congrats and many years of happiness. I met my husband after her biological fell in love and got married that's the best thing in the world and on top of it my daughter is happy. I have me a new baby boy that was born August 24th. So I have two kids trust me think of yourself too not just the baby so if you truely love your boyfriend or fiance go for it hunny but think about yourself. I am not much older then you I will be 20 in Feburary so trust me been there done that I got pregnant with my daughter at 17 working on 18 so yes think about yourself and be happy and congrats on the new upcoming addition to your family. If you need anyone to talk to or just have questions about pregnancy, marriage, or just anything feel free to reach me ttyl hope all is well

Answer 8

If you really love him and he really loves you and you have a great emotional family support system and jobs that can pay your bills then maybe you can make it work. But odds are you won't last more than 2 years. You are just too young.  

Answer 9

You are young which is awesome - you guys need to wait on getting married - do not rush getting married - having a baby is wonderful - make sure that you two are right for each other.