Should I give up my dreams to be a parent?

Question

My husband and I can't have kids, he is infertile. We adopted our neice but she was older and knows i am her aunt.

She was adopted through cps and we considered going through them again but they said we wouldn't get an infant.

artificial is out of financial reach, what should I do?

Answer 1

So, you don't get an infant. Why is that such an issue? Kids of all ages need loving parents. You don't say how old your niece is, but especially if she's older, you could adopt someone who's a compatible sibling age for her.

Answer 2

If you can't afford IVF or artificial insemination today, then you can't afford to adopt.   So, you'll just have to find something else to do with your life.

Answer 3

Adopt a baby from another country if you don't want an older child.

Answer 4

Well, go with your heart, it is alright if you can't have kids. God made everything meant ot be, every thing happens for a reason no matter what, it is a way to his path of salvation. Never feel bad that you can't either, it is supposed to be this way. Go adopt a poor kid from Haiti.

Answer 5

Since artificial is out of your financial reach, I would imagine that international adoption would also be too much of a monetary stretch.   Why would you not consider an older child?  If you truly want to be a parent, there are many older kids who would love to have a mom and dad.  You can still have your dream!

Answer 6

It really saddens me to hear people write-off the idea of adopting anything but a newborn.  Friends of mine adopted a little boy when he was 3; that was 2 years ago, and yes that child knows that he used to have other parents, but my friends are his mom and dad and that's how the boy sees them.  They are a family.  Yes it sucks that you can't have a baby, but are you gonna let that get inthe way of becoming a parent?  If so, I guess you don't really want to be a parent!

Answer 7

you might not get an infant...but the three that I have had moved in all under the age of 4!  I have one that is less than a year old and we are going to start the TPR soon.

Answer 8

Don't give up your dreams because when you do you take away the dreams of a child who dreams of having a family. So adopt a child there are so many that need people like you that need people like them.

Answer 9

If artificial is too expensive, adoption from another country is out of the question by far. My uncle paid close to 50,000 for a healthy baby girl from China.

Answer 10

Go through another agency.  There are tons of kids out there without a family.  Just ebcause they cant find you and infant doesnt mean there isnt one.

Answer 11

Why would you consider giving up your dreams?  There are many varieties of adoption available, many levels of cost, many agencies, both public and private, you could consult.  You should gather more information--from the library, the internet, the phone book--before you even think of giving up.

Answer 12

Adopt a kid from another country if you want a baby so bad.

Answer 13

You should never give up a dream!  

However, if you are looking to have a child that will not know he/she is adopted, I strongly discourage this.  Eventually something will come up and the child will find out.  You are better off being open and honest from the beginning.  You can still be a parent without the child being biological or thinking they are your biological child.  

Be flexible (parenting requires a lot of this).  Older children can be just as rewarding, if not more, as infants.  Explore all your options.  There are many transracial and international programs available.  China is one particular program that is very stable, inexpensive, and relatively simple.  The children are usually between 9-18 mos at adoption.  Not quite infants, but still young enough to have curiousity and innocence about the world.

Sit down and think about what being a parent means to you.  If it means being there for another human being to nurture, love unconditionally, and teach the values of being a good, strong person; then I think you will realize that being a parent does not require a biological child or an infant. If you just want to have a child to fulfull some "need" you have; you may want to reconsider.  When you become a parent, it ceases to be just about YOU.  You have another person that is looking to you for love, guidance, and assurance.  You have to think what's best for both of you!

Answer 14

I don't think you should give up your dreams...try a different adoption service until you find what you want!!!!