Should I go? Or am I just being lazy?

Question

I am 25/2 kids. I just married someone who is 20/no kids. When we first got together, he seemed mature. But now I see different. I don’t know if I should wait and help him grow up or go. I’m getting sick of his comments and if I tell him about them (in a NICE way) he gets offended and it turns into a fight. He makes comments like…”mmm smells like women” when we pass a perfume shop. Or when I was shopping for a new nose ring, he pointed out the playboy bunny one. I AM 25! I am a mother, I have a professional job with a college degree…how would I look walking around with the playboy bunny?! He was trying on shoes the other day, and if he didn’t like them he just casually tossed them to the side.Ugh! He should put them back! Plus, with him I have to worry about immigration papers, English classes, and having more kids. Sometimes I feel it is easier to move on.

Answer 1

i understand your frusteration i mean there seems to be a big gap in matturity levels here, but you do have to remember that men are more immature by nature and 5 years and 2 kids makes you much more matture than him anyways. however you are married and you made a commitment to him, i think you should try and help him mature talk to him about how you feel, maybe seek counsling if all else fails. i really dont believe in divorce explecially not over something that can be corrected with comunication....and also remember why you married him...

Answer 2

He sounds not only immature but rude, from the sound of it and the way you talk about him, dump him. Sounds like he has more cons than pros, above all else think of what your kids are witnessing cuz they will mimic.

Answer 3

Listen, you are 25!!!! I am 25, and d**n you sound 40. It is kinda funny for me that he is going out with a 40 year old with 2 kids, I think he should move on, but he probably thinks the world of you. If you have this snotty attitude towards him, then don't even bother.

Answer 4

My wife is really immature and she's 27, but it's just something I've learned to love about her =D At least she can make me laugh.

I think you're overreacting.

Answer 5

Run....don't walk....and don't look back.

Answer 6

hhmmm....Married someone you didnt really know! Girl, you need to shop a little harder and take your time. You can't jump into a relationship, get married, and THEN work out the flaws. You also married a person who is 5 years your junior ( which should'nt matter), and Men reach their emotional maturity at a later age than "most" Women. This isnt trying to put all men in a catagory, but you need to find these things out before the marriage. Only you know if he is worth salvaging, good luck.

Answer 7

Well you should have thought about that!!  What is a 25 year old woman doing with a 20 year old lil boy??

Now that is strange!!

Answer 8

You should probably go.  The two of you are not on the same page of the book.  You're in chapter 6 and he's still trying to make it thru chapter 2.  

Answer 9

Here's the deal. Do YOU want to stay in this relationship and make it work? If so, then you should have a real talk with your man. Let him know which side is up. Let him know you love and want to be with him but that his immaturity level is causing a serious strain in the relationship. If he does not want to discuss it, gets defensive, etc. Let him know you will walk out.

On the other hand, if you haven't invested too much time or effort in the relationship and you feel your chances at a more successful life are better without him....just go. Just do it, and do it while you're young enough to start over. You and your kids deserve that!

Best of luck!

Answer 10

I Usually start naming my farts when that happens... i give them names like willis or Conrad

Answer 11

From where I sit, it's you who needs to do some growing up.  He can only be as grown as his emotional age allows him to be. He's a man, no kids and 20 years old.  What do you expect?  You on the other hand, 25 year old woman with two kids should make better choices in partners.  Lemme guess, he's good in bed?

Answer 12

Ok,  Where 1st.. This should not be in this section..  This is the Marriage Divorce Section... If your not married and he aggravates you that much why not leave?  NO kids together.. he is not mature as you put it.. though I don't think your very Mature either.  Sounds like he is more trouble than what he is worth to you.. so WHY haven't you moved on yet.. Cause its easier to stay then leave right.

Answer 13

I can totally relate.....lol.

Me 28, him 22, immigration papers, English classes, having more kids etc...  I have one kid, he has none.

Really I think you need to chill out.  If your complaints are that he makes perfume comments and other comments like that and that he does stuff like throw his shoes to the side....well....honestly, those are normal marriage complaints.  

Really those have nothing to do w/ his age at all.  You just find him annoying.  Marriage is a really really hard adjustment, especially if you have been independent w/ children for a while.

And, ummmm, hello!!  You are talking about being a mother and all that and saying it is not appropriate for you to wear a bunny nose ring....you are a mother and you have a nose ring!  It doesn't matter what ring you wear, you are a mother and you have one!!

Anyway, you will adjust to his annoying-ness.  Sounds like you are being really hard on him.  Ask yourself 1. is he a good person 2. do you trust him 3. is he good for your kids.  If you answer yes to all those, wait it out.  It will be worth it, I promise.

Yes, you will have tons of challenges, more than other people because of the immigration, English, age diff, and all that.  But you are married.  You need to work it out.

Answer 14

I wish you were sitting here, so you could see how trivial the things you're complaining about are.  None of what you have said is worth ending a marriage over.  The fact that these things bother you so much makes you sound like you have some growing up to do also.

Answer 15

come on, he didn;t change over night - This is the same guy who did the same things before and you probably thought they wer funny although i see him as a disrespectful immature fool who is a lot more than 5 years behind you inthe mental department. You should have known better anyway to trust a 20 year old kid with 2 children and you, who obviously have grown up and find his "charm" stupid

Answer 16

You have to remember that you are dealing with someone that is younger than your self. He is still a kid at heart. Some things that you may take as a serious he takes it as a joke. I think you should move on and find a real man.

Answer 17

I think you should just go, it's clear that you are tired of his "childish" ways and prefer someone more mature.

I will say just leave as forcing it won't help.

Answer 18

I think you rushed in marriage and now when the first wave of infatuation has gone, there is nothing left and every single little thing about him irritates you. A question you should ask yourself is do you really love him? Because that's probably the reason you want to leave him for. My partner does so many things that irritate me but it never came to mind to leave him over this.

Answer 19

Marrying a 20 year old may be a huge problem. He is still sowing his wild oats, so to speak, and has inclinations towards other women, this is normal at his age. You chose to marry him, so you must accept his immaturity. My question is, is he mature enough to be a role model for your kids? Did you consider that when you married him? You may be able to have the marriage annulled with very little damage. See your lawyer fast if that`s what you want.

Answer 20

It is clear that you did not know this person as well as you might have thought that you did.  I say get the h**l out of dodge so to speak before more damage is done.  You really answered your own question. Not to mention that you already have 2 children that your trying to raise.  Why would you want to raise another one at 20.  Move on honey, before you end up pregnant and stuck in a relationship that is going no where.  Good Luck

Answer 21

why did you marry him before you got to know him

this is exactly the reason there is a 70 % divorse statistic

yeah it sounds like the two of you aint compatible and if you cant even overcome small quirks then i wonder how the bigger issues is going to play out

you can always try couple therapy but it takes 2 to make a relationship, and it takes communication, something he obviously aint ready for

you should have waited a year or two till he was more mature before rushing into a marriage

Answer 22

dang, poor choice in a husband

reject!  

get you a new one, for sure!  

Answer 23

he's too young for you. besides the fact that you're 5 years older than him, you way older in maturity, which you have to be to have 2 kids. i say move on. i wouldnt wait for this guy.

focus on you and your kids and you'll be a good husband and good father one day.

i JUST realized you're MARRIED to this 20 year old. i guess try to work it out because you dont want guys in/out of your children's lives. good luck.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN MARRIED???

Answer 24

Seems like he has a lot of growing up to do. Maybe you 2 rushed into the marriage, but before just walking maybe you can try to work it out. Have you talked to him about how you feel?  A successful marriage takes a lot of work. GL!  

Answer 25

why did you all get married? But that's not the point. You are married already Make it work. Remember though you cannot change someone that does not want to be changed. maybe you all should try counseling.