Should I go? Or should I let my mum decide my future?

Question

I'll try to keep this as short and sweet as possible...

Basicly, I'm 18 now, and from the age of about 10 upwards I've wanted to travel the world. my mum has always, always backed me on this and has said that if thats what I want to do then do it. I've recently returned from Turkey, and was offered a job over there which I would love to take. I would only be moving over there for 6 months and it would be for summer next year.

In the meantime, after discussing it with my boyfriend of 3 years, he agrees that it is a good choice because I've always wanted to do it, and he suggested that we fly out toTurkey in October to try and look into it more, and he fly home after one week, and leave me there for a week to see how I cope on my own, kind of as a taster.

I told my mum after I had booked up for this as I knew she wouldn't be too happy, but shes hit the roof, is currently not talking to me and has told my brother she's going to somehow cancel the holiday?

Answer 1

i know you dont want to hurt your mums feelings but she has to loosen the apron strings,she will be worried  and yes i understand where she is comming from ,but this is a chance that may not happen again ,i would go but talk to her again and tell her the decision has been made and no going back on it

                        good luck by the way

Answer 2

And so your step into adulthood begins!!! you know you have to do it if it's what you want. your mum is just going to miss you alot, and although she will be understandably worried, this could be more about not wanting to lose you than anything else. Go easy on her, it's only becauseshe loves you, but stay strong and do what is right for you. If she falls out with you, that is her choice and you can't control that, and you can't make a big decision like this based on your mums feelings. She'll come around eventually when she adapts to things. Good luck with all your exciting plans!!

Answer 3

this is your life. if this is what you want to do, take it. what if three years down the line, you never took this job just to make your mum happy. your most likely going to so regret it. if things dont got to plan if you decide to go, it doesn't matter, lifes full of risks so just go for it. yours mums being very selfish and you need to tell her this. this is your life so go for it!

good luck :) x

Answer 4

Quite honestly I think you should go - and your Mum will just have to come to terms with it. A question for you to ponder over; If you were getting married and moving to another country and she reacted in the same manner, would you stop the wedding? Just do it sweetheart and enjoy your life - because it is YOUR LIFE.

Answer 5

Take the trip! It's YOUR future on the line; not hers. She probably is worrying about you and thinking you're too young to be on your own, but spend a week there, call/email her often and hopefully, she will get used to you being away.

Answer 6

You have to take this opportunity no mater what.  Your mum will come round in time but if you didn't go in a couple of years you would resent her ruining your dream.

Answer 7

You need to do this for yourself and not worry about what your mum thinks. If you don't do this and decide to stay you will regret it and blame your mum for it later which could then ruin your relationship with her more so.

Good Luck on your journey!!

Hope all goes well with you and your mum!!

Answer 8

You are 18 now and an adult in the eyes of the law. Your mother couldn't cancel that holiday if her life depended on it, so don't worry.

If you don't cut the apron strings now, you will NEVER cut them. You will be an old maid sipping tea and knitting with your 90 year old mother, still living in her house with no life of your own.

Go to Turkey, have fun and take the job if it suits you. Mum will get over it eventually.

Answer 9

you've got to do your own thing in life, you're old enough to make your own decisions and if you stay you will just hate your mother for it, give her some time to think it through and talk to her about it.

Answer 10

listen to your mum. Mother knows best and talk about parent's inkling. A mother's foresight can go long years ahead.

Answer 11

Hi,its obvious your mum loves you.She is frightened to let go of the reins her baby as grown up.Try & explain to your mum you have to do it.If she will not listen to reason then go.I know both sides I was in your mams situation only my son told me mam I do not want to hurt you but i will go.It broke my heart but I told him to go & have fun.

Good Luck

Answer 12

Your an adult now, you need to make your own decisions. I say, if you this is what you really want to do, then do it!! Your mum may be upset right now, but she will get over it!! They always do!! Good Luck!!

Answer 13

This doesnt seem like the best idea actually. I'd agree with your mum. Turkey is nice for a holiday but a single girl living alone might find some problems and have a lot of harassment  in this country.

If you want to travel, why not go to Australia? It is much safer.

Answer 14

She can't stop you unless she locks you in the house and/or hides your passport!

However, it would be better for your relationship with her if you can get her blessing.

Try to understand her fears- that is what this is all about- she may not entirely realise what they are herself. She is probably afraid that you might not return or something bad may happen to you out there. Show her you are mature enough to do this, and what you intend to do to keep yourself safe.

If your brother is any help, let him speak to her. Be patient and calm, and hopefully she will cool down.

Answer 15

If displeasing your Mum makes you that miserable, you'll never enjoy the trip.