Question:

Should I go for the open adoption agreement?

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For those of you who don't know, I have been fighting to get my son back, who is now 6 1/2 months old. Well, it isn't going that great. I'm trying to save up money for an appeal, but that isn't a guarantee. The AP's attorney said that they would enter into an open adoption agreement (which is actually "enforceable" in Oregon) if I drop all of my pending litigation. In some ways I feel like this might be the only chance I have to ever have contact with my son, but at the same time, I just can't imagine giving up on a life with him and putting him through unnecessary pain. What should I do?

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  1. It sounds like you have already given the child up, or there would not be APs....  After 6 1/2 months, I would accept an open adoption agreement rather than trying to get him back.  Many more people than you would be hurt doing that, including the child.


  2. I agree with Lara.  Keep going, girl!

  3. Dear Camira-

    FIGHT FOR YOUR SON!!!!

    Fight for him with every fiber of your being, YOU are his mother, They can adopt another child someday, but YOU AND YOUR SON HAVE SOMETHING THEY WILL *NEVER* HAVE. You can NEVER have YOUR son again. He is one of a kind. ANY child will do for them but NOT FOR YOU!!!!

    FIGHT THIS!!!!! DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I can not believe the A$$ HOLES who are still fighting you on this

    GOODLUCK!!!!!!!! And never give up!!!!!!!

    WE ARE ALL BEHIND YOU ON THIS!!!!

    ((((Camira))))

  4. Don't give up.  Amy is right. They know you've got a case and so they want to offer you something so you'll back down.  Your son will be glad you fought for him.

  5. NO. Don't stop fighting them. This is what they want. I can't believe they are still dragging this out. They are obviously in love with the idea of having a baby rather the baby himself.  What are they going to tell the child when he asks them why did you steal me from my mother.  

    Nothing in life is a guarantee. Don't let them get away with legalized kidnapping. They will try to keep you away from the baby even if the law says its enforceable. Don't believe them or their unethical professional liar, I mean attorney.  They are only looking out for themselves and want to get rid of you.

    Think of your son and how much he wants his mother as motivation to continue your fight.  He doesnt want to be held hostage by strangers.

  6. They're lying to you.  Open adoption agreements are NOT legally enforceable in Oregon or anywhere else because the parental rights of the legal parents (and there are only two) supercede any other written agreement.  Yeah, "enforcable" may mean that they pay a nominal fine if they "violate" the agreement, or it may mean that you have the option of trying to hire a mediator (who will then try to work out a "compromise" but who can just as easily tell you that you are S-O-L).

    This shows why expectant and birthing mothers should NEVER be preyed upon by people wanting their babies.  In their vulnerable state they should be protected from such predators.  In Australia you would have been protected against people like this who wanted to exploit you.  

  7. OMG.

    These people know that you want your child back - and they're continuing to fight you.

    I can't believe some selfish AP's sometimes.

    Fight it.

    Fight it with everything in you.

    They're trying to make you scared.

    Have you been in touch with Origins USA - they know good people to help with fights like this.

    I'm so so sorry that this is happening to you and YOUR baby.

    They have no right to do this.


  8. NO Camira, NO.. They know that you have a solid case.  That is why they are offering to you.  Girl, just call me please.  

  9. Wow!  I can't imagine what you are going through here!

    Obviously, nobody here is in a position to provide you legal advice. But I agree with the reasoning that if the APs are just now offering the open adoption part, there is a reason for it.  If they were sincere, this would have been on the table since Day One.  So, I agree that this probably means you have a strong case and their attorney is trying to strike a deal to get you to go away.  I would also question the AP's willingness to follow through with an open adoption agreement.  It takes a special kind of arrogance to do what they did.  

    Keep fighting!

    Hang in there.  I'll be thinking of you.  

    Best of luck.

  10. Dear Camira,

    Don't ever stop fighting for your son.

    If the "ap's" were decent people, they would give you your son back.  The fact that they are fighting you speaks volumes about them.  It has to be exhausting and you must feel hopeless at times.  Stay strong.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.

    ((((Camira))))


  11. OMG!!!!!  how selfish they are!

    FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

  12. Oh honey, this is soooo awful.  The ap's in this case are criminal really they are.  Someone mentioned that 6 months is a long time to have a baby in their home but if they knew after ONE day, they have NO RIGHT TO TAKE A BABY FROM HIS MOTHER.  Which is what they are doing in contesting you.  Kidnapping in a legal way regardless of what you signed (or were coerced into signing).  People forget how vulnerable a new mum is and the emotional roller coaster you go on when you have just given birth regardless of whether or not you have people waiting to snatch him away from you the minute they can.

    Keep fighting, don't give up although I KNOW how hard this is for you.  Open adoption is a farce, its is torture having to watch your child leave every time with another person and as others have stated, whats to stop them from moving to another state?  Keep going as long as you possibly can.

    All the best and hopefully justice will actually win this one and you and your son will be put back together like Nature intended.

  13. They sound scared, don't stop. You shouldn't have to barter for WHAT"S BEST FOR YOUR BABY!!

  14. I dont know the reasons that you gave your son up but I can tell you that even though you are told that open adoptions are pending how do you know that the AP will stay in the same state you are in?  

    I am an adoptive parent and I allowed an open adoption with my daughter and it turned out to be somewhat of a night mare.  

    My advice is either fight for you son and let attornies look at your paper work there might be just a slight loophole that has been overlooked giving making it possible for you to get him back.

    Speaking from the other side, over six months is really plenty of time to love a child as your own.  They are probably at this point thinking that they are doing what is best for the child.

    Have you tried sitting down with them and just talking?  Its a shot in the dark but it might work.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.

    If it ends up being an open adoption you might want to have it court ordered that they have to be sure and send you pics every six months or so even if they give you the visitation and have it court ordered the dates that you get them.  Then they would be in more than one violation if they should go back on the papers.

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