Should I go to a funeral?

Question

My grandfather is terminally ill and the whole family is starting to discuss funeral arrangements with him and all that. I'm just questioning if when the time comes should I really go to the funeral? I just don't feel it's the right way for me to say goodbye, it would just seem so final and like we'd all be leaving him at the church to me. I'd rather just be there to see his ashes scattered or plant a tree or build something in his memory. Do you have any advice on whether I should go or not? I've never been to a funeral before.

All advice greatly appreciated

Answer 1

I think you should go because you're his family.

Answer 2

If I were you I would go.

You might regret it.

My friend really wanted to go to her grandpas but she decided against it in the end and she has regret it since.

I would go, but after sometime do something else in his honer like plant a tree, or something.

That could be your final goodbye.

Answer 3

If you dont go, people may wonder why and you may later wish you did. I would say go and if it gets too uncomfortable you could walk outside and wait for the rest of the family.

Answer 4

It's a matter of paying your respects, Matt.  It could be insulting to the other survivors if you didn't show.  Be sure to go.

The upside is, you'll see some of your cousins and relatives that you don't see much.

Once again, it's not your wishes that are granted as far as what kind of service is held.  These are most likely your Grandparents' wishes.  Respect and honor them.  You'll be glad that you did...and they will too.

It's the right thing to do...especially if you love them.

Answer 5

Sorry about your grandfather

Not going to the funeral is ok I think.

If you dont like the thoughts of saying goodbye to him an a church

or dont feel that its the right way, then dont.

If you'd like to do something else like you have said

I think thats better.

Its your own way of saying goodbye,

I think thats better then a church.

Answer 6

He is your grandfather. You should go. It will be the last time you can ever see his face and say good bye. It is also supporting the rest of the family when you go. In my family people look down at you if you don't go, it's kinda expected for you to be there. I don't know how it is in your family. It's best to ask your parents as well. See what they think. If they think you should go then go. If it doesn't matter to them then it will be in your own heart as if you did or didn't do the right thing about not going. Good luck, best wishes. You also don't have to go to the wake or burial, you can pick one or the other. Most folks pick the burial and that way they don't have to actually 'see' the person. Then the family will still usually be ok with that.

Answer 7

I doubt you'll regret going to his funeral but I'm willing to bet that you would regret not going.  It's not something you can repeat. Once you miss it it's gone for good.

How do you think your grandfather would feel about you not attending?

Answer 8

Go out of respect for your family. And im sorry about your grandfather.

Answer 9

Depends, it's up to you. The atmosphere I would say is horrible. I wasn't that close to my great-grandmother and I went to her funeral and it was so upsetting. I'm not gonna go to one again unless I'm really close to that person. If you feel uncomfortable about it then I wouldn't go, but then you might regret it later. If you do go, atleast you might not regret going.

sorry I cant be of much help

x

Answer 10

i think you should hes your grandfather. yes funerals aren't great but how will you feel later down the road if you didn't go i know that when i didn't go to my grandmothers i still regret it.

Answer 11

First and foremost, see him while he is alive, spend as much time with him as possible. When he's dead he won't know you're at the funeral.  

Answer 12

it may seem like kinda a stupid way to say goodbye, and i understand that, but believe me, after the funeral, you'll feel a lot better. not going will only make you think about it all the time, possibly beating yourself up for not going. if you're really uncomfortable about it, you don't have to go, but if you regret it later you might feel pretty bad about not going.

Answer 13

You need to go to the funeral.  It's about much more than just you and your grandfather, it's about family coming together and remembering a loved one.  I am sorry to hear about your grandfather.

Take care and good luck.

Answer 14

While you remember him at the funeral, you're there mainly to support other family members and console your own grief.  

Answer 15

Well personally I would to show respect. But It's all up to you. Honestly, It really is. No one can tell you just because it's your family you should go.

Really, I didnt go to my bestfriend's funeral who passed away because it was too hard for me. But I regret it.