Should I have a baby at 19 with chance of infertility?

Question

i started my period when i was 12 and was diagnosed w/ endometriosis when i was 16 i've had the surgery and the induced menopause but it's come back. my cramps are so severe and i think i could soon be infertil. i just graduated hs and have been w/ my bf for 2 years. we plan to have kids in 3 years but i don't think i will be fertil for that long. i've told no one in my family and i would be 19 if i had one. i've always wanted to be a parent and before it was born i could get a job and a place and my bf would help. i am an adult an can make my own discisions but do you think i should get pregnant now? or risk never having a baby?

Answer 1

I understand your reasoning, but after seeing the responses so far I feel I should put in a word for the other side. This may not be what you want to hear.

When I was 18/19 I was with my boyfriend of two years, too, and we were certain we'd someday get married. We had plans for when we'd get married/have kids/etc. Then life went on, and we both changed, and he broke up with me. This is a very normal and common thing--many people your age are with someone they think they'll spend the rest of their lives with and it turns out to be not so.

What you need to do is be realistic and consider that it's a very real possibility you and your boyfriend may not be together for the rest of your lives. Ask yourself if you'd want to be a single mother.

If that's something you're willing to do in order to be sure you'll have a baby, that's fine. Just be aware that that's what may happen.

Do consider the fact that you may still be fertile in the future, or even if not, there are so many children who need loving parents to adopt them. For some reason many people consider this option inferior to having their own biological children, but it truly isn't; parents love their adopted children just as much.

Honestly, 19 feels old, but it is so young. You have so much youth ahead of you; do you really want to commit yourself to parenting already? What about college? What about spending your early 20s learning about YOURSELF, traveling, and spending time with friends? Parenting is a long road, one you shouldn't start until you're sure you're ready.

Have you talked all this over with your parents?

I'm just throwing these ideas out there for you. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do; it's a tough decision! Good luck.

Answer 2

The older you are, the more infertile you will be. So go for it.

Answer 3

If it something you wan than go for it. You seem to have your head on straight and a good loving man. I say have a baby, and if you don't get one at least you'll know you tried.

Answer 4

I am 19 and tryting for a baby for various personal reasons. If you think that you wont be fertile in a few years and will be affected badly by it then all means go for it! you will have the full support of your family as they love you and probably wouldn't want to see you upset. Go for it!

Answer 5

I'm in the same spot.. I'm 19 now and I'm having a lot of "female problems" so me and my fiance are speeding up our wedding date to be able to start having kids (not that you have to be married to have kids, but his dad is a preacher and that would look bad ha)

Answer 6

You should get pregnant now. I mean you are done with highschool. You have been with your boyfriend for a long time. If I was in your situation I would do the same. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Pregnancy is the best cure for endometriosis, at least temporarily.  It may take a while to get pregnant though, the hormones they gave you may take time to wear off.  Herbs you can try for fertility include red clover and red raspberry teas, also nettles tea, they are all nourishing and you can drink tons, keep up the last two throughout pregnancy.  Be sure to breastfeed, no bottles, because that will prolong the hormones you need to keep your problem under control.  You are most likely entering your most fertile years, so go for it and good luck!  Eat a good diet, lots of fresh fruit and veggies and no junk, no smoking, and no drinking for the healthiest pregnancy.  Buy the best prenatal vitamin you can afford at a health food store and start taking it now.  Relax, lower your stress, and get plenty of rest.  I hope your bf is a good man and very supportive, a supported mom supports the pregnancy!

Answer 8

we'll i'm only 20(just turnd 20 may 31st) and i found out im 4 wks pregnant..it wsn't sumthin i plannd but it's something i wouldn't wana miss out on either(no matter how many times a day my head is stuck n a toliet)if u honestly feel that u won't b fertil in a few years,,than trust ur instict and start ttc....good luck,,,wish u all tha best...

Answer 9

If I were you I would do it. It sounds like you've got plans which is a good thing. I want to be a mom so bad! If I knew I would be infertil in a few years then I would def. do it rather than going my whole life without a baby =(