Should I have another Baby??

Question

Here is my situation.

I am 21 i have a 2 year old daughter by a guy that i have not been with for a year now. I have a boyfriend and have been seeing each other seriously for about 10 months now. We have brought up ideas of having a baby together. I was kinda hesitant about this for many reasons. How will people look at me for having 2 kids with 2 different fathers? will i be able to handle 2 children under 3 years apart? my family is very "traditional" how will they react? is this unfair to my daughter? my bf and i have a few problems in our relationship...but who doesnt. im not saying i want to have a child to fix anything bc i know it doesnt work that way. I just want to be pregnant and raise my children close in age. My parents waited 9 years before having another child and they wished they wouldnt of. I know there are some benefits and downfalls to this situation. Its just such a HUGE decision....am i ready for this responsibility? has anyone gone through anything like this??

Answer 1

I dont think having 2 babies by 2 different men is bad, but having 2 babies by 2 men that you are not with might be...so maybe you should wait until you are certain that you will be with him.

Answer 2

get married, get a stable job, then have a baby.

Answer 3

I would say wait for now. You have only been with the guy for less then a year. To be honest i would wait till he has proposed to you or after you have gotten married. Just something, anything to prove that this guy is going to stick around for a long time because what if this guy does the same thing as the guy before? then you will be stuck raising 2 kids by yourself. Now i do understand the age difference, me and my little sister (she is 6 i am 21), which is a big gap, an my mom admits she wished she would of had us closer. But there is so many good things about the age difference. I mean when my sister was little i was able to take care of her, an in the future i will be there to give her advice based on my own experience.if the age is such a issue maybe you can wait till the child you have now is 4 or 5, that way your child ain't to young an ain't to old either, only a few years difference. Also, don't worry about what other people think about your kids having 2 different fathers, i mean there are tons of kids who do. An it doesn't matter if they do, as long as you love your kids an the man your with loves both kids equally thats all that matters. But like i said i would wait for a commitment an then think about having another kid.

Answer 4

I think you should wait until you have a very stable relationship with a very committed man. either be married or the equivalent commitment. it would be really nice to have a sibling for your daughter, but it's better to have that when there's a stable family relationship with two parents to take care of the kids.

I'm 23 and I have two kids under three and it's wonderful but it's no picnic. I would not be able to do it without my husband. if you're not absolutely 100% sure that this boyfriend is going to stay with you for at least the next 20 years, you should not have a baby with him.

Answer 5

I would wait until you have been with your boyfriend longer. It's easy for a guy to say they want the commitment and then not be there for the long haul. I am 22 and have 2 kids. They are 2 and 7 months. At times it's challenging but it's also great. I love the fact that they can play together.

Answer 6

If I were in your situation...I'd let my relationship go further than 10 months before I had another baby. I think you guys need to be serious in the relationship...like marriage before you bring on another baby into the world. It is a very huge situation. Don't worry about what other people are going to think about two babies two fathers. It's actually average now for some reason. If I were you, I'd press marriage not another baby. You need a serious and stable relationship so that you have two fathered exes..you know? It's better for the kids. I don't think you are ready for that by how and what you write. Don't take offense, but forget the age different in the kids. I freaked out about that a lot, but when my 2nd relationship failed after a year...I was kind of glad that I never got pregnant by him. Now, I'm in a stable relationship, happy, and expecting. Just slow down is all.

Answer 7

I believe you should wait...you are still young and have many baby making years left! and I would wait more than 10 months before having a child with this man. If he is ment to be with you he will still be around !!

Answer 8

10 months isn't that long for a relationship. If you were married, then you could be more sure that your boyfriend is in for it, that he's really committed and will be around to raise the child. So if you were married, I would say go ahead. But since you're not, I would wait some more... 10 months isn't that long of a relationship, and things can go wrong really quickly.  If you're having problems right now, they get bigger when you're pregnant; your hormones, him feeling left out, etc, can compound the problems.

Answer 9

yup. you should wait until you guys have more than 10 months and you made sure hes the one.

goodluck.!

Answer 10

the world is over populated already so no