Should I have called her fat?

Question

My best friend and I have known each other for 17 years now. We introduce one another as sisters. Well for the past 5or 6 years we call each on the phone and jokingly call each names,like the b-word and the H- word all just to be funny. Within the past 3 months I've grown tired of greeting each other like that. So I've asked her to stop probly like 3or 4 times,each time she laughs me off. Finally yesterday she called and started in cussing me out. Saying "what up B!" and it slipped out. I said "nothing you Fat S**t!'. My sister is like 350 plus and after I said what i said, the conversation was quiet akward. We both played it off like it never got said and the conversation continued. I never make fun of her weight, just because I know how sensitive she is. I pratically had to teach this chick how to stand up for herself in the 8th grade, cause she would get teased so much. Now I feel like I created a bully. Affection in our family is a sign of weakness and I want to tell her sorry,but did she deserve it? Will she chill out now on the name calling?

Answer 1

it's never nice to be called fat, or anything like it. You realize she was joking around and didn't want to make you feel bad, but you probably made her feel bad.

I think you should lightly apologize. "Hey, I'm sorry for the other day, you know, when I insulted you on the phone. I didn't mean to say that, it wasn't nice of me. I hope we can move on, just I wanted to make sure you knew I feel bad about this, and didn't mean it."

I don't know. Just make sure she understands how you do feel!

Answer 2

I think you should say sorry for taking it that far. Take her to lunch or coffee and tell that you didn't mean that but you are sick of the name calling, that you've grown out of it.  

Answer 3

you know her for many years,call her as u like and ULTIMATELY show u r utmost affection which will compromise the issue amicably,life is ups and down

Answer 4

I wouldn't have called her fat, since you know that she is really sensitive. So i say sit down and talk to her, and apologize.

Answer 5

i know how you feel. two of my friends always say " omg you are such a loser. dont talk to me *****, i dont care what you say" and then theyll be like just kidding! its so ******* annoying! whatever. i wouldnt stress over it. she IS fat, and she shouldnt be calling you a *****, even as a joke. especially after you told her to stop. you should say sorry for what i said, but i already told you not to call me that. if you dont want me to say stuff like that to you, dont say it to me.  

Answer 6

I don't think you should have called her fat but you should just sit down and talk to her when she knows your serious and tell her that you want to stop the name calling.

Answer 7

i think she felt hurt...but i think she knew u were not trying to be hurtful...i mean you've known each other for 17 yrs.! u should tell her that u didn't mean it that u were sorry

Answer 8

She needs to learn that people don't like being provoked and having their requests ignored. It was predictable that your patience would run out. Sure, it was wrong to call her fat, but if she's so sensitive, why didn't she care about your feelings?

She deserves an apology, and so do you. Maybe you can take responsibility by saying, "Girl, I lost it and said a horrible thing because I was so angry. I feel terrible." Hopefully, she will apologize for not respecting your wishes and provoking you. Then the whole thing will blow over.

Answer 9

An apology is necessary for this scenario.  If this friendship is meaningful work on it.  Discuss that you did mean it when you said you wanted to stop the name calling and she should have listened and taken you seriously when you said you wanted to stop.  This kind of name calling should have never started in the first place.  There are pet names that people call each other after they have known each other a while.  But those words do come across as cruel.