Should I have his baby?

Question

My 3kids and fiancé had died in March. My fiancé killed his kids and then himself. I am now about to have surgery to have my tubes reconstructed while I have the money. I know I can’t replace my kids but I always wanted a house full. I can’t ever see myself having a relationship with another man. But I know this guy and I have known him since I moved to this state. I feel as thou he played a big part in what went wrong. He has a family but he has been here for me from the beginning of all this (more then my relatives) he helping me thru it all. I don’t want to be with him, a matter of fact I plan on moving to another state in July but being that he’s the closes thing to me do you think it’s wrong for me to get pregnant by him. I feel he was the reason why I lost my family (unknowingly); he should be the reason why I should have another. I only ask cause I know sometime I don’t think to clear since this happened so I ask for a second opinion

Answer 1

In your shoes I think I'd prefer a cleaner break with the past.  Start fresh.  I'm sure the entire episode was very traumatic for you, and I'm sorry you had to endure it.

Answer 2

First off, I'm very sorry for you losses. I can't imagine being in your shoes.

That being said, I think that if I were in your position I would move on from all the pain in your past and try to start fresh. Give yourself time to heal before bringing a baby into the world.

Answer 3

wow im really sorry. but i dont think that would be the best thing to do. seeing his kids would be a constant remineder of what happened and youll never be able to move on. and if he has kids with you and you move he is going to want to be a part of those kids lives. i think you should just move and start over fresh with new people.

Answer 4

Find out if he is planning to leave his wife if not then don't you don't want to put her in your situation . Think about how she would go along

Answer 5

wow youve been through alot and you definatly should take time to alone maybey some theraphy and get back on track.

Finding the right man is hard and i dont think you should have this baby, but if its how you feel and if you feel like it will make things better than go ahed dont let anything stop you. Im only 15 but ive been through stuff in life also. Good Luck.

Answer 6

i would wait. you need to think about the child too. if you will be leaving him soon then you should see if you can find somone else... im sorry that you had to go through all that. God-bless

Answer 7

First of all, my sympathies on the loss of your children.  No one should have to bury their off-spring.  As to your question of "Should I have his baby?"  Don't rush into something you might regret later.  Let time take it's course and maybe you'll meet someone you really want to have a baby with.  Good luck and God bless.

Answer 8

yes it is wrong.

Answer 9

Give yourself more time to heal..its only been a couple of months.

Answer 10

I'm very sorry about your loss. I cannot imagine losing so many people dear to you in such a tragic way. My heart goes out to you.  I think that you ought to wait to have another child at this point.  I'm sure that you miss your kids desperately, but that is not the right reason to have another.  Eventually, in time your wounds will heal. And in time you will find someone new, and someone that can be yours only.  I know it's hard to look into the future now, but try and stay as positive as you can and believe that there is a special someone and a family in your future. And there is no shame in talking with a counselor.  I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 11

Not to be mean, but are you nuts?

I wouldnt want this guy in my life, and I definitrely wouldnt want my kids to have such a father.

I'm sure that there is another guy out there for you that will treat you right.  Find him and then go about having a family the sensible way, that way your kids have the best chance for happiness.

May God richly bless you!!