Should I have s*x with him? ?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 3 months, I'm 16 and he's 18. We've already done alot of stuff together, but we haven't had s*x. I know he has had s*x with a previous girlfriend, but he's told me he's happy to wait and that he doesn't want to pressure me. I really want to have s*x with him, but a part of me is still really scared. I've talked to him and he says that if it gets too much we can stop. It's really confusing me. PLEASE don't say "wait until marriage". I don't believe in waiting until marriage, so that will just be a waste.

Should I? We both trust each other, and we have a wonderful relationship, and I really want to have s*x with him, but it's scary. Help!? What should I do?

Answer 1

i say write out the pro and cons, decide if your going to go on birth control , if you can afford birth control, what he is going to use for protection, wear you want to have s*x, how much it going to cost.

here is a check list that can help:

1. are you doing this to prove some thing to some one or for you?

you should only have s*x because you want to and not because you want to prove your love or be with the "in" crowd

2. you know all the pros, cons, the good, the , bad, the ugly and everything in between about s*x and you except that they could happen to you? if you say yes they you ready on this part.

3. are you 100% ready emotionally, physically, and mentally? do you know that it will hurt worse if you and the person break up after you had s*x then if you never did? if you say yes then you ready on this part

4. do you know all the methods to protect yourself? and know there is no excuse from not using protection ( their are condom for any size p***s) and you know which one you plane to use.

5 do you know you can have love with out s*x and have s*x without love

6. people respect you more it you wait.

7. educate you self first here: http://plannedparenthood.org

I'm 18 a virgin a god d**n proud of it with a bf of 7 months. i can't afford birth control so until then i educate myself on s*x

Answer 2

That is really nice how he's happy to wait. However, I beleive you're the only who can answer that question. With myself and my other half, we we're both, well, nervous I guess, but in the end you will know when its right. If you're playing at the moment, it'll soon come naturally that you want to take the next step.

Dont pressure you're self in thinking I'm going to have s*x tonight, as you'll get yourself all panic-y and then slightly disappointed when you don't. Plus its easy to have s*x when you're relaxed and in the mood for it, so just wait for that one moment while you're exploring each other when it just happens.

Plus if you're worried about getting pregnant, start on the birth control (the doctors are nice about it and its soooo easy to get. They just check you're weight and blood pressure and then prescribe it for 3 months), and mention it to him when you start taking it to hint you believe you're ready.

Answer 3

Don't plan it. Just, spend time with him. If its right and is meant to happen it will. If things start going farther, and it feels right, go with it. If you have any doubts, you shouldn't do it.

Answer 4

It should be scary it is a big step in a relationship. Keep in mind that your first can only happen once. If you are sure he is the guy who deserve to be the one and you are ready for any potential consequences then by all means go for it.  Kudos to him for not pressuring you - that's rare for a guy.

Care to return the favor?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

I don't believe in waiting until marriage, it's a crock of c**p, but don't have s*x w/ an adult unless you want it to end in a rape charge.  Can you imagine what will happen once your parents find out (and they will, trust me).

Answer 6

Well My first instinct is to say "if you need to ask then you should probably wait" at least until you are sure. Some people say that you're never really sure and that's try to some degree but you can know when you're ready to make a choice that is purely your own. Give it some thought but try not to over think it. Also bear in mind that the lil age difference between you two could be an issue if adults find out and disapprove.  

Answer 7

umm well i think u already answered ur own question "that time is now"

Answer 8

I didn't believe in waiting til marriage either. I lost my virginity around 16- however I didn't have enjoyable s*x until I was 21!!! I say what's the point in changing your routine if everything is going well? He most likely won't be any good in bed anyway! (FYI guys usually don't know how to please a woman until they've had enough women tell them how to!)

Answer 9

If you have to ask if you should then you shouldn't.

The best advice I was ever given is: "you can only give the gift of yourself ones, make sure its to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with!"

I was 16 when I gave my gift and he was 18. It was the best thing I ever did...we are still together after 4 years 8 months. And we have only even been with eachother.  We are now living together working on buying a house and plan on getting engaged soon. Really think this out hun. If he isn't willing to understand your choice he isn't worth it. And the same thing everyone says...always always always use protection. I can say if you use it right it does work!

Answer 10

If you are so ready than why are you asking a bunch of strangers if you should do it.

Answer 11

Yeah. wait to you get married.. I told my sis in law to wait and she never wanted to listen now. her and her bf broke up and she regrets doing it with him..

not trying to say that will happen to you but yeah. just wait a little longer..

Answer 12

Although I totally agree with the first answerer about marraige, iIf a part of you is stil really scared, you are not ready. You will be aprehensive and nervous but believe me most people find it a huge letdown. Only you can make the decision.  

Answer 13

In your additional details you said you are both ready then why are you asking this question on here? I don' t know what you want all of us to say more. Use protection and go to your mom if your not already and ask her about going on birth control. Be safe!

Answer 14

go into it understanding that EITHER of you can say stop and it ends. if you dont have that then dont do it. just go slow and relax and keep in mind that you can stop at any point. its the best way for both of you. he doesnt feel like he is pressuring you and you dont feel like he is rushing you.

it took me and my now husband almost two months to have s*x from when we wanted to. We were not married when we had s*x for the first time.

ALWAYS however use protection. no baby for you. you are young. enjoy your s*x!!!

Answer 15

like i said to another girl two seconds ago

if you have to come on here and ask complete strangers if you should have s*x then obviously your not ready your having doubts thats why your asking this question. when you have doubts thats your bodies way of telling you your not ready.  

Answer 16

it seems like the only answer you want to hear is 'go ahead, do it', so anything else is unlikely to change your mind.

but here's something to think about

marriage = responsibility and commitment

if you let him have you before marriage, forget about ever marrying the guy.  If he can have you without any responsibilities and commitment, why would a guy ever propose?

you'll regret it once you're left all alone by yourself.

Answer 17

how the h**l would we know?

seriously, if you have to ask you shouldn't be having s*x.

Answer 18

I'm a little confused as to why you are asking this ?. If you don't want the wait until your married answer then I think you are looking for people to tell you to do it just "be careful". I think you already know what you want to do you are just looking for validation in your decision. I think that you are the only one to answer the question as to when is the right time. Before I went too far with any of my boyfriends I always asked myself how would I feel if I did sleep with him & then we broke up shortly after. If I felt that I would regret it & feel disappointed in myself & the decision I made then I wouldn't do it. I always made the right choice & to this day I'm grateful that I listened to my inner self b/c I was able to wait long enough to meet the man I'm married to now. We did have s*x before we got married but it was something we took seriously & talked about the possible consequences of having s*x. We were both virgins & didn't have anyone to compare each other with which was nice. To this day I'm thankful for the wonderful guy I have married & that we've been able to grow together in more ways than just the s*x department. I think if you have any hesitations that you need to listen to your inner self & no one else for the answer that you are looking for.

Answer 19

i wont tell you what you dont want to hear all i got to say is please please please protect yourself in more ways than just a condom.. me and my bf used condoms FAITHFULLY, EVERY SINGLE TIME... and ya know what... we now have a 6 month old little boy... which was a blessing but thats besides the point... your young please make sure your on B/C and use a condom.... Condoms do not always work....

Answer 20

I understand with the wait until your married but alot of people believe that's the person your going to spend the rest of your life with, or possibly, having a child with your spouse. Yes, you should really wait to have s*x until you are married but I don't believe that much too. Marriage is just pen on paper and spending your life with someone, whereas s*x is showing your love to each other. I'd say wait until you are ready to do it with your boyfriend. If your scared about it, just don't do it yet. Tell him how you feel, it's giving yourself some time to think about it and some self respect.

I'm 16 and haven't had s*x. But I will wait for my time to be right, I might decide to do it sooner or later. But it's just I ain't that much prepared to do it. If you do decide to do it, however, please, use protection such as condoms or go on the pill.

Answer 21

You seem like you're just ready to give in, but you're not ready.

You may feel now like it's the right thing to do, but you will regret it in the future.

My advice is this:

Wait until you're ready.

Answer 22

If ur ready do it

all i have to say is

unless you two want kids soon

use a condom & birth control

I dont believe in the whole wait till ur married thing either

so i know what you mean

P.S dont rely on birth control alone or condoms alone

Answer 23

Its Really Simple.  If You Want To, Then Do It, Assuming You're Not Being Pressured, In Which Case I Would Say Not To.  Just Remember, Safe s*x Saves A Lot of Problems.

Answer 24

I know how you feels to be your age and have lots of hormones and i'm probably simular to you because i didn't believe until waiting for marriage but i did believe in waiting for someone i loved.

I think you really want to right now but the fact your asking this and the fact that you admitted your scared is showing that your not ready. If he is honest about what he says he won't mind waiting for as long as it takes, be it a month, a year, 10 years, he shouldn't mind waiting. If he doesn't wait then you know he's not worth it.

Answer 25

Wait until you don't need to ask this question, even to yourself.  You can loose your virginity whenever you want, you can't get it back.  And it sounds like you aren't going to lose this guy for not doing it (and if you were, then the guy would be the better thing to lose anyways).

Waiting until you know you are 100% ready and excited to do it, and not just horny and curious is the best way to go, not many people can make it there.

To the commenter above me.... Just because you don't believe in waiting until marriage, doesn't mean you shouldn't wait until you are ready.  Having s*x when you are ready shows respect to someone more important then your future husband, it shows respect for yourself, and you are the only person who you can control and who be around you forever, so keep loving and respecting you.

Answer 26

I think you should "do it " Only if you are ready. This is a huge step. And yall need to understand that. Always use protestion and make sure that you both want this before you do anything. I know i am gunna get thumbs down for this but the best thing to tell you is to make sure its what yall want and make sure its right!!!! Good luck sweetie

Answer 27

Ask yourself - if you have s*x with him and end up pregnant, is he a guy you want as a father to your baby, and someone you will most likely have to deal with for the rest of your life?  I know I never thought of that when you are 'just having s*x', but it could be a situation you find yourself in.  It doesn't matter how long you've gone out with him, you are still very young.  I'd wait until you are a bit older.  You learn a lot about yourself and other people as time goes on, and that will affect important decisions like this one.  

Answer 28

Wait until marriage. You can say you don't believe in it, but it is the best. You will end up with a broken heart and possibly pregnant. Wait. If you're not waiting for marriage what are you waiting for?