Should I have stayed or should I have gone home?

Question

I’m 19yrs old and still living with my mom and my sister who is 3yrs old. I do whatever my mom asked me to do and I have to do it or my mom will get mad if I don’t. I’m not a very good cook and that’s a big problem for everyone. I don’t have a car yet because my mom said I’m not ready yet, so I’m always at home making sure that the house is clean and helping her out with my sister. The only time I can go out is when my mom plans a big trip or when my boyfriend asked my mom if it’s ok to hang out. It’s always hard to ask my mom if we can be together for a day, but rarely she’ll say yes. One day my boyfriend called to see if I can come over for his mom’s surprise birthday party that the whole family was doing. I told him that he need to ask my mom first, mom said ok but I need to be home at 6:00 because she was having a bad day at work and she also wanted me to cook dinner as will. The time was 4:30 when he came to get me, went over to his grandma’s house and waited for his family to get there, but it was almost 6:00 and they were running late. I told his family what my mom wanted me to do, they said if I can call her and ask if I can have more time because nothing was ready yet, so I did and boy was she mad. She didn’t want to hear what anybody wanted to say so my boyfriend’s family said I can stay as long as I can. I had so much fun, but when I got home which was 9:50, my mom didn’t want anything to do with me, and she wanted me to go and fine a job and get out. There are no jobs out right now so I don’t know what to do at this point. Did I make the right choice by stay and having fun or should I have went home and done what I was suppose to do?

Answer 1

yep you sound like a slave. i mean its fine to help your mum out and everything, but she shouldn't be getting mad at you for having a good time or be in control of when you can go out.

Sounds like she is really stressed and taking it out on you which she shouldn't be. She is stopping you from everything you want to do for her sake. not healthy.

i would have a really long talk to her first and explain that your happy to help out but you want your own space.

Its not like your doing anything wrong here so she really has no reason to be mad or anything.

Just moving out wouldn't really solve anything, she'll just be majorly pissed. Find a job save some money, and if nothing changes move out.

and no, you didn't do anything wrong by staying at the party. It honestly sounds like your mum wants to have as much fun but she cant or she's jelouse of you going out etc. Maybe have more family trips, get out of the house, invite your mum and your bf's parents out or something, or take your sister out for the day. But still let her know that you need to do your own thing. Dont feel bad about staying at the party. You needed it!

Answer 2

get a job your mom sounds like shes using you as a slave

Answer 3

It's too late now to worry about what your should have done.  (Which you even put "done what I was suppose to do"... so you know that answer.

Really, you are 19.  It's time to consider either going to college or getting a job.

Answer 4

Your 19 years old and your not your mothers slave, find a job and get out of the house. That is unacceptable for a mother to treat their child that way.. You are 19 for goodness sake! Your mom cant tell you at 19 if your ready for a car or not.. your an adult. Now living in her house and not having a job or being in school yeah you shoul dhelp out but your not to be her slave parents are supposed to help their children ... anyhow since you dont have a car find a job, after that find a small studio apartment close to your job so you dont have any problems getting to work, then get a car and move on to bigger and better things.. as long as your helping out while your living under your mothers roof good but man ... thats a little over done right there.

Why the heck are you still living at home?