Should I hold my son back an extra year??

Question

My son is Autistic and is about a grade behind even though he has had ALOT of help.

Facts

1. he small for age about 1 yr behind in size.

2. Does school work almost always at one grade behind

3.He is not yet fully socially aware!yet but next year will be another matter

4.If he continues on he will always be behind the other kids!

5.To keep a child back is now something parent have to fight to have happen.

So if you were in my shoes would you fight to keep your child behind one grade??

Answer 1

nothing wrong with holding him back. you don't want to shove him into something that'll overwhelm him. talk to his teachers or the school counselor.

Answer 2

what does your kid's homeroom teacher suggest? s/he knows your child's progress in school best, and can give you an honest answer.  it can never hurt to get more help.  if they say no, you can look into school tutoring programs, getting a drs recommendation, and spending more time on studies at home with him.  best of luck.

Answer 3

Yes. It's better to have him really learn the material rather than being lost.

Answer 4

My nephew suffers from Autisum and from my experience with him I would defiantly fight to keep him back. My sister takes him to a tutor to get him but to speed but because of his condition he is no where near the level he should be for his age. Keep him back now while the children tend to be a little kinder then if they were older. I believe he will benefit from this and he will then grow and develop with his class and not feel like there is something wrong when he isn't at the level of the rest of the class.

Hope for your sake they see it the way you do.

Answer 5

yea hold him back one thing i learned from working at an elementary school is "regular education" children about 3 our of every 5 kids aren't ready for school when they start. if you feel like he keeps up better one grade behind do it it will help him out a lot in the long run. we have some kids in kinder at the school i work at that put rocks in their mouths talk like a baby wont sit still cant write their names yet stuff like that but their parents wont hold them back they want them to move on to 1st grade next year which will just make it worse because they'll always be behind.

Answer 6

I'm assuming he goes or has gone to a counselor/therapist, etc.

I would discuss the issue with someone like that.

It's a very hard decision to make, good luck!

Answer 7

I would do it for his benefit. How old is he anyway?

Answer 8

I would hold him back a year. It will only benefit him. The only thing I'd worry about is when his bday comes around and the kids see he's a full year older than the rest. But I'm sure that would be an easy bridge to cross. Good luck with your decision.

Answer 9

It sounds like you have good instincts, if you keep him back a year he will not be so far behind his classmates and long term will probably be better for him.

The schools don't want them held back because it means they'll be in the system for another year and the $ associated with that.  I think you are right to hold him back.

Answer 10

My daughter was tested when she was in grade 4.  We found out that she was at a 7 1/2 year level even though she was 9.  At that time, she had not yet learned to read.  We did not hold her back .  I did my best to help her and she learned to work extra hard.  Physically she was always the smallest, by quite a bit, in every group (baseball team, Girl Guides, track team) she was with.  She is now in university and is keeping up her A+ average

Answer 11

Having walked in your shoes I would say go with your instinct.  You know your child the best and what would be best for him.  Giving him extra time to catch up is not the end of the world and he may find out that he has better skills than the incoming kids to the grade.  This can help him build his confidence and give him the practice he needs to refine all his skills.  

We recently moved my 8 year old to a different program.  Although I was and am still skeptical of the the change I am happy to see a huge change in his behavior and overall ability to cope.  I also have a girl in my girl scout troop.  She was held back from last year due the same issues you are describing.  Her mom reports that she has greatly improved by having this extra year.  Just something to think about.  Your son is lucky to have a parent so concerned about his success in school.

Answer 12

i think you should hold him back. i am in the 10th grade and in my grade is a autistic boy and everyone treats him normally and hes like 17. we all have fun with him and we dont pity him but treat him as an equal. thats something people should learn that some people arent quite as smart as someone else but still have the things that make them unique and great.